Dan Hesse, the CEO of Sprint, is back making commercials for his company.  In the latest version, he is doing more of what he did in previous ads - selling on price.  The top guy in the company, the big boss, numero uno, looks straight into the camera and tells you Sprint's latest calling plan is better than the competition's. That's what the most senior person in the company wants us to know about his company - they're cheap.  

On the opposite side of the spectrum is Phil Knight, the charismatic founder and former CEO of Nike. Knight was the keynote speaker at a conference and, like the CEO of Sprint, he too made a case for why you should choose Nike over the competition.  But Knight took a different approach.  He didn’t say what Nike does or how they are better.  And he certainly didn't attempt to differentiate the company based on price.  Instead, he told a story that explains Why Nike exists.

Looking across the audience, Knight asked those who run to stand up and a good percentage of the room stood up.  Then he asked those who run three or more times a week to keep standing; everyone else was asked to sit down.

Looking out at the people left standing, Knight said, "we are for you." "When you get up at 5 o’clock in the morning to go for a run," he went on, "even if it’s cold and wet out, you go. And when you get to mile 4, we’re the one standing under the lamp post, out there in the cold and wet with you, cheering you on.  We’re the inner athlete.  We’re the inner champion.”

Without a single mention of their latest technologies or which athletes wear their products, Knight makes a vastly more compelling case for Why we want Nike in our lives. Nike may or may not be better, but we are drawn to them because they have a cause.  They know and we know Why they do what they do.  The same can not be said for Sprint and so many other companies.

Phil Knight knows Why Nike exists and he tells us.  It is the same purpose, cause or belief that inspires his employees as well as his customers.  “Just Do It” is more than a tag line, it’s a motto.  It’s a cheer.  It’s a rallying cry. Are Sprint employees inspired to be cheap?

The mistake Mr. Hesse and so many other marketers make is that they tell us what the company does and how they think they are better, but there is not a single mention of Why the company exists in the first place.  And it’s the Why that matters most in a purchase decision.  People don’t buy what you do, they buy Why you do it. And Why is what truly differentiates one company from another.

Nike doesn’t want to make products for everyone, they want to make products for champions.  Champions are not the ones who always win races; champions are the ones who get out there and try. And try harder the next time. And even harder the next time. Champion is a state of mind. They are devoted.  They compete to best themselves as much if not more than they compete to best others.  Champions are not just athletes. Champions are entrepreneurs, politicians, nurses, soldiers, students and Hall of Famers.  Nike wants to make products for all champions. 

What Phil Knight can do that so many other CEOs can't is put his company’s Why into words. And because he can, so can all those who work at the company.  And because everyone in his company can put the Why into words, so can we.  Sprint and Nike are both companies built on brand equity in industries in which there is little to no real difference between one company's products and another's. But we all know what Nike stands for. We only know what Sprint does and we may or may not believe they are better or cheaper, but we certainly have no clue Why they exist. 

Before consumers can know your Why, you must know it. If you don’t know Why you do what you do, how will anyone else?

Your Why starts as a feeling.  Call it drive or passion or inspiration or something in your gut, it doesn’t matter.  Only when that feeling is translated into words can it become actionable and scalable.  Only when others can repeat your Why as clearly as you can, can you lead. And when you lead, you never have to sell on price. Someone should tell Dan Hesse to stop talking about price and start talking about Why.  Come on Mr. Hesse...just do it.

Everyone knows WHAT they do. Some know HOW they do it. But very few know WHY they do what they do.  Only those who know WHY are ones who lead.  Discover your Why at WHY University.

I am so blessed.

No really, I am.

I know those are words that we don't hear everyday, but just maybe we should.

Let me explain.

I just spent an hour at one of the best cancer treatment hospitals in the world - The Princess Margaet Hospital here in Toronto, Canada.

I am fine - I was scheduled for a routine CAT scan - as part of a series of medical tests I am going through to participate in an exercise study for people living with insulin dependent diabetes.

I walked into, and out, of the hospital free of any worry about living.

I was one of the lucky ones.

Thousands of people walk through those doors everyday, uncertain about if they will be with us this time next year.

We can talk about living life to the fullest, enjoying everyday, but when you are sitting in a hallway in the hospital (trying to keep your hospital gown closed), sitting with real people, that are not sure what this machine, and the next test ,will tell them about their future, it really hits home.

It makes you think.

What about this gentlemen on the gurney waiting, alone, in the hall? What's his story? Is he a Grandfather, brother, volunteer, someone's best friend? What is he feeeling right now?

Or, the women sitting beside me.  Is she a mom,  a grandmother?  She looks scared.

I want to do something, but I am frozen.  What could I possibly say to make things alright?

I feel guilty that I am even in their presence; after all I'm just taking part in a diabetes study.

My CAT scan went well and I got dressed and left the hospital  with a renewed appreciation of life and feeling truly blessed for the life that I live.

The air outside the hospital felt fresh, alive, and I promise you I will throughly enjoy the sun rising up tomorrow morning!

Apparently March is National Women's History Month.  Not much fanfare for this.  In fact, I'm not sure I even knew it existed.  (And, oh please, if you have worked on this or are involved, no disrespect intended).  In the interest of supporting this celebratory note for all of us gals, I can shed a bit of history with you - we are tired.  No matter when they came through, or what period of time they lived, women of all types and ages and ranges are simply pooped.

Now I get it, men are too and we all do too much.  But I dare say there has never been a time in history where so much is expected out of us females.  As a Mom to three girls (one daughter and two step-daughters), I try to paint the reality for them that they will soon face - it’s their journey and it’s their job to balance for themselves.  Many of us fail miserably at this, I can’t think of one friend, relative or neighbor that is in perfect ‘balance’.

DISCLAIMER:  reference ‘balance’, someone who is content and comfortable with where she is and what she does and how she handles ALL things.

It feels as if there is this quiet expectation to do it all – not just work and be a mom but it feels larger than that – as if we are supposed to be like Elizabeth Dole or Hillary Clinton creating powerful careers and really making a difference; Martha Stewart, with homemade goodies and baskets of fresh flowers strewn about the house (the same house that offers incredibly organized and well groomed cabinets and shelves); a Victoria Secret’s model with a curvy body and even after giving birth to several children, the all important abs of steel and triceps of stone; a PTA Mom that never forgets to sign a report or volunteer for a quick hour or two when needed (and nurtured personal relationships with teachers to help usher her children through school appropriately); and a great entertainer, well put together, pretty much happy and smiling all the time. 

Now.

That being said I will share that my sense is we women are the hardest on ourselves.  I would bet that most households (including spouse and children) would be totally cool if we scaled back on the expectations and were ok to just say ‘I just can’t’ or ‘not sure I need to do that’ or really look inside and be ok with who we are and where we sit.

It’s such a tough balancing act and I wonder about the struggles of our ancestors, the women who worried about feeding and clothing their children, or guarding against free flowing disease and illness that captured so many so quickly.  It all goes back to what is important and how to define our priorities.

Thanks to psychologist Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs, we would start with the basics of food, security and safety and work up from there.  Now that we do indeed have our freedoms, the journey is back on us and we need to figure this out without taking on guilt and shame and remorse. 

And we need to stop judging.   Someone mentioned to me last week that they couldn’t get over how poorly a friend kept house and were buzzing about it a bit, as this particular mom doesn’t work full time.  My gut level response was, who the heck cares?  The role we play to support each other should be just that – to support each other and not to compare, contrast and pull each other apart in our assessment of who is doing what and how we stack up.  Silliness.

It seems perspective is always my best friend.  How about the fact that we have these freedoms?  It’s tough for sure. Today’s environment offers a new set of challenges to face and maybe the real answer is learning how to manage all of this while shifting priorities and responsibilities around.  What worked before doesn’t work now. 

Things are moving, changing and we are growing.  How wonderful.  How scary.  To help out, I made a little chart that provides insight into our decisions.  Listed on the left are expectations, unspoken as well as my personal expectations (which may or may not align with yours) and then I added criteria of ‘How I stack up’ and lastly how much priority I give the expectations.

Wow.  I realized that I change this daily in terms of how I stack up. So it’s not bad or good or tough.  It’s simply life.  Feeling better already, I am going to print this out and put it in my ‘personal items’ folder I carry around with me that includes goals, affirmations, etc. as a reminder that we are all indeed in balance.  After all, we all show up every day and do the best that we can.  That in itself should be recognized.  And embraced.  A hug to you.

Managing and coaching is different

Think of the best coach you ever had, either at work or outside of work. What did the coach do that was effective? How did the coach interact with you? What kinds of things did the coach help you to achieve? Now think of the best manager you ever had at work? What did he or she help you to achieve? How did this manager interact with you and treat you? What differences did you notice between your best coach and manager?

Have you ever had a manager who would be a good coach at the same time?

The Best Manager should always be a good coach. Coaching in many ways involves enabling the human side of working. Good coaching helps people to develop. This involves asking lots of questions and collaborating. It is important to build strong interpersonal relationships with employees, and this is what good coaches do. They also provide feedback on behaviors always with positive intent.

Coaching helps to unlock a person’s potential, to maximize performance, and to help them to learn vs. teaching them. With good coaching, development can be observed through an individual’s performance, department performance, and overall company success. Many managers think that coaching is someone else’s job! Coaching, however, can be helpful to develop people’s skills and performance. Coaching can be used effectively to delegate, problem solve, enhance job satisfaction, and provide feedback.

There are many types of coaching

Coaching can occur to enhance performance. For example, after a project a good coach will ask many questions to assist with learning. A good coach might ask:

• What were you trying to accomplish?
• What were the actual results of what the project achieved?
• What caused the gap between what you wanted to achieve and results you achieved?

Coaching can assist in understanding the gap between the expected result and the current outcome. A good coach can help a person think through what should be done next time to improve performance.

Coaching for development is a second form of coaching. In this mode, coaches ask questions like, "How I can help?" " What can I clarify?" and, "What do you need to solve this?". Good coaches use the art of questions to help their employees to learn.

Finally, coaching for career development can be very helpful and important. Sitting down with an employee a coach can ask, “What do you want to do more or less of in your job? What best aligns to your abilities and interests? Which activities are best to match your high challenges and high skills?” Good coaches try to find out what their employees are passionate about and which new roles might interest them. As a result, coaches and employees can work together to plan the next steps to enable the employee to contribute in new areas of interest.

Coaching in real time

The best coaching occurs daily in real time. Everyday interactions can provide rich coaching opportunities. It is important during these times to transform these daily interactions into coaching moments. This can be done using both formal and informal feedback. The Best coach uses questions to guide and direct learning and behavior. The Best coach looks for positive behavior to coach on. For example, let’s say, an employee has just completed a really good presentation. After the meeting the Best coach might ask the employee, what s/he did to prepare that made for an interesting presentation. This is much better than simply saying, "good job", which doesn’t mean anything. Asking questions helps people to think through what they did to achieve their results.

It is also best to pick the right coaching moments. For example, let’s say, next time the same employee gives a poor presentation. Most of us know when we are not at our best. Right after the meeting it would not be the best time to offer coaching. It is always better to schedule coaching time just before the next time a person is about to give the same presentation. Then the person receives coaching just in time and when they need it most. After poor performances people are less receptive to feedback and coaching.

Finally, make coaching private. There is no benefit in coaching in public; it can damage working relationships. Also it has been my experience that people listen better and are more receptive to feedback in private.

We can learn from other great coaches

John Wooden was one of the greatest basketball coaches of all time. He also focused on building positive interpersonal relationships and said he always felt responsible for his players and their development. This is an important factor in coaching. Too many times managers are quick to give evaluation and not positive feedback. Evaluation only serves to reinforce the manager-subordinate relationship, which is already understood. Feedback, however, given in the right place and time, is information and not a value judgment about the person. Remember that when giving feedback it should be consistent and positive. Also, using questions is a great method for seeking understanding. The Best coach always tries to link feedback to behavior and business results.

The Best Coaches

The Best coaches are caring and focused. They are good listeners and communicators. The Best coaches look for coaching moments and use both informal and formal feedback. Most important the Best coaches share the responsibility for behavior change. The Best coaches have collaborative relationships with the people whom they work with and as a result everyone benefits! Managing and coaching are both required and if used in the right time and place create the best results for both individuals and the organization!

Learning summary and next steps

Managing and coaching work in alignment. Make a list of 5 examples of each. Daily be aware of the differences and ensure you are using both in your daily activities as a leader of others.

Craig Nathanson

Craig Nathanson is the founder of The Best Manager™, workshops and products aimed at bringing out the best in those who manage and lead others.

Craig is a 25 year management veteran, Executive coach, college professor, author and workshop leader. Craig Nathanson is also The Vocational Coach helping people and organizations thrive in their work and life.

Craig’s on line communities can be found at http://www.thebestmanager.com/blog and http://www.thevocationalcoach.com/blog

Conventional wisdom has suggested that it's better not to talk about negative emotions as a way of handling them. So, we turn to alternative strategies such as holding our negative emotions in (as suggested by Anger Management and Emotional Intelligence programs), suppressing them, managing them, or sharing them with others (gossip/triangulation) just to get them out.

However, recent discoveries at neuroscience research centers are revealing how to handle negative emotions in new and healthy ways. This updated wisdom takes us down another path. Rather than suppressing or ignoring emotions, which only damages our internal healthy functioning, we need to learn to express our emotions in constructive ways. Learning how to label emotions in healthy ways has a big impact on emotions - both for the speaker and the receiver.

Careful labeling of an emotion enables us to regulate the emotion. If the emotion is "rage" or "frustration"- labeling it causes the rage and frustration to settle down. Constructive labeling enables the speaker and listener to clarify the emotional distress. It prevents the speaker from bringing a higher emotional tone to the situation and brings a more logical frame of reference to the situation. This practice regulates the brain and provides a calming effect.

Learning how to label emotions and express our discomfort enables us to quell the fear and pain centers of the brain (amygdala) and activates our reasoning and forward-thinking centers in the brain (prefrontal cortex) where our strategic and social skills reside. Our pleasure centers are more closely linked to the prefrontal cortex, so we feel better when we come up with more effective strategies for handling our emotions and creating new strategies for the future.
 
Neuro-tips

We are at a critical inflection point in the world today. In this WE-centric universe we need to acknowledge our vital role and responsibilities to each other on our journey. Our new WE-centric world is built on candor and caring, which expand positive powers in the world. In a WE-centric world, leaders understand that human beings are designed to be social. We either pull people toward us, or we push them away.
 
Rejection = pushing people away and is experienced as pain by those rejected. Compassion and caring = pulling people toward us and is experienced as pleasure by those who are accepted. You can become a game-changer and shift your culture into a "WE-centric" culture by applying these neuro-tips at work.
 
NEURO-TIP #1: Our brains are designed to be social

Our need for belonging is as or more powerful than our need for safety. When we are rejected, we experience pain in the same centers in the brain and body as when we break a leg. Being emotionally orphaned is more painful than death. When others show us love, respect, and honor us, it triggers the same centers in the brain as when we eat chocolate, have sex, or are on drugs. Understanding this dynamic will change how you lead.

QUESTION: Knowing that our brains are designed to be social, what Leadershift could you make in your life starting tomorrow to create greater positive connectivity with others at work?

NEURO-TIP #2: Appreciation reshapes our neural networks to give us a broader perspective of the world

When we feel sad, depressed, alone, fearful and disconnected from others, our mind closes down. Messages from the amygdala say "protect" and our brains are hardwired and designed to protect us from harm. Through co-creating conversations that focus on how we can tackle our challenges and difficult situations together, we activate an appreciative mindset. Our neural chemistry changes; we 'turn off' the fear-based neuro-messages from the amygdala, and 'turn on' the brain connections that feed up into the prefrontal cortex - our 'executive brain.'  We see that our 'perspective has shifted' and it's because that part of our brain - our prefrontal cortex - is now engaged.

QUESTION: Knowing that appreciation is the food that enhances the health of our brains, minds and souls, what Co-creating Conversations could you initiate tomorrow and with whom - that could shift the feel of your workplace from judging to appreciating?
 
NEURO-TIP #3: We avoid what is painful; we engage in what is pleasurable

From birth, we learn to avoid physical pain and move toward physical pleasure. We learn to protect ourselves from ego pain, building habits and patterns of behavior that protect us from feeling belittled, embarrassed, or devalued.

At work this tendency translates into avoiding a colleague who appears to compete with you when you speak up or avoiding a boss who sends you silent signals of disappointment. Pain can also come from what you anticipate-not from what is real. If you imagine that telling colleagues they are annoying you will lead to a fight or argument, just the thought of having that conversation will produce the social pain of being rejected or being in an uncomfortable conversation. We often avoid the conversation and hold the frustration inside. The feared implications of pain become so real for us that we turn to avoidance, since confronting a person with a difficult conversation may lead to yelling, rejection, or embarrassment.

QUESTION: Knowing that avoiding others to avoid perceived pain of a difficult conversation may only create greater pain down the road, what person and what conversation could you have starting tomorrow to build greater trust and candor with a colleague?

If you are like most people you get in your car, start it and either adjust it from the "park" position and put it in "reverse" or "drive". Right?  You are either moving forward or in reverse. In much the same way in life, we are either moving forward, towards  our goals, or being distracted by things which are coming between us and our goals. And sometimes, just as in driving, you may have to go in reverse in order to move forward.

It is worth noodling this through and holding ourselves accountable. After all, we are in the driver's seat.  We are faced with decisions daily as we "drive" through  our lives. Try asking yourself when struggling to make a decision, "Will this feed the energy of what I want to accomplish & create... or detract from it?"  This one question will help you say YES or NO with no guilt-- and with no apology.

This weekend, as I waited in line to get my car washed I was on my cell phone with friend and Success Television & SSI Expert, Dianne Orwig.  I paid, rolled up my windows and eased my car into the tracks of the conveyor that would guide my car (with me inside) through the suds and dancing strips of fabric that would soon remove winter from my car. Distracted by our engaging conversation I placed my car in PARK once I got the hand-signal from the attendant.  Within seconds I noticed a huge rhythmic jolting of the vehicle and the look of alarm on the face of the attendant as he called out to me to put my car in NEUTRAL, not park!

Oops.

I was amused..
Dianne was amused.
The attendant, no so much.

I will allow the spiritual lesson of the car wash to be a guide today.  Rather than driving forward or in reverse-- or sitting in park-- I will allow more time in neutral.  Not because I don't want to move forward, but rather  because I want to move forward with EASE.

You see, once I put my car in neutral, the conveyor carried me.  I didn't have to DO anything at all to get through the car wash.  In much the same way, we are guided in life and sometimes we think we have to push forward-forward-forward...when sometimes you only need to let a force BIGGER THAN YOU, drive.

If you feel like you are paddling upstream you can change this exhausting act.  And that does not mean paddling downstream either. It means, similar to putting your car in neutral, DROP THE OARS and let the river effortlessly carry you like a conveyor through a car wash. 

Rena M. Reese, M.S. is the author of several inspirational titles, founder of Soul Salon International, radio host and instructor at The Mindfulness Center in Bethesda, Md. In her latest book, The Soul Salon, readers enjoy what would equate to a year of personal life coaching. For more information about her books or speaking, please visit www.SoulSalonInternational.com.

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No doubt you’ve heard a thousand times over that, if you want to lose weight, you have to be consistent. You have to have a routine and you’ve got to stick to it, no matter what.

While it’s true that consistency is King and commitment is Queen when it comes to getting fit, here is a little known exception to that rule: Deferring from your regular fitness routine can, in fact, be just the thing you need if you’ve hit a wall or your scale starts moving in the wrong direction.

The alternative most folks choose when they hit a plateau is to “take it up a notch” by working harder, longer, heavier, or faster, or, they move to near starvation in an effort to squeeze the body fat off. But here’s some good news. None of that is necessary if you know what you are doing. Here are 3 ways you can switch just a few things around and shift your results into high gear:

The Difference is in The Difference - The human body is one of the most adaptable machines on planet earth. How else do you explain the diverse environments in which we exist? With this in mind, it’s easy to understand why, once you become acclimated to something new, both your mind and body can become comfortable, or you might even say, complacent. When you have physically grown accustomed to a consistent amount of calories or a consistent exercise routine (this typically happens 5 to 7 weeks into a steady fitness regimen) your body will often kick into BTDT (“Been There Done That”) mode.  When this happens, you might be moving along at a nice, even clip, getting all of your workouts in and eating like a runway model and then, suddenly, without warning, the scale comes to a screeching halt.

A Different Drill – When your body gets to the point where it is no longer impressed with your flat bench press or the 12 sets of 50 squats you’ve been performing, rather than trying to pound it into submission with longer, harder workouts, try instead to switch exercises. If you’ve been using free weights, switch to machines for a while. If you’ve been doing nothing but circuit training at the gym, try moving to body-weight exercises like counter push-ups or stadiums. When you ask the body to move through a different plane of motion, no matter how slight the difference, it can cause the muscle to tap in on fibers that have not been called upon before. Simply changing to a different piece of equipment or exercise method, even at a lighter weight, can produce that nice feeling of fatigue and soreness you’ve been missing –  much easier than adding more weight or more reps.

A Different Diet – If your scale has all but stalled out, rather than eating less and less food, a better approach (and one that will yield much better return with a lot less pain) is to change either the timing, portions or combinations of foods you eat. If you tend to skip breakfast, eat very light all day and then eat your largest meal in the evening, try doing just the opposite. Eat your largest meal first thing in the morning, then consistently down size throughout the day. Ideally, of course, to get the best results from your nutrition plan, all of your meals should be about the same size (a little larger than your clinched fist,) contain an equal portion of protein and carbohydrates, and should be spread out evenly throughout the day (about every 2-1/2 to 3 hours.) But, again, if you have been doing this consistently and are no longer getting the results you want, it’s time to try something new.

A Different Dream – Using a goal picture or creating a vision board is one of the most powerful ways to wake up your focus and keep it there. Unfortunately, after a few weeks, if you are still looking at the same images, no matter how inspirational they once were, they won’t serve much purpose unless you continue to have a strong, positive, emotional response to them. If the vision of your dream has faded (and the excitement of changing has moved in the same direction) it’s time to find some new images or phrases that inspire you. Another way to wake up your inspiration is to begin carefully and methodically charting your progress on paper. Set new goals, make a calendar of daily and weekly achievements, and reward yourself by checking them off as you go along. While most people focus on the action part of fitness - sweat, work, pain, resistance, denial and deprivation - the true key to long-term success comes with changing your vision and your vocabulary. Get in the habit of talking about the DREAM as opposed to the struggle. Ultimately, it’s how you view your world and communicate with yourself that makes all the difference in the world.

About the Author:
Dianne Orwig is a success coach, motivational speaker, fitness trainer, and founder of LivingFit Online™, a fitness program that has helped thousands of men and women completely transform their bodies and live healthier, happier lives though her less-works-better approach.

For more information on how you can get better results in less time and with less effort than you ever thought possible, visit http://www.lovelivingfit.com. Send for your Free LivingFit Progress Tracker by emailing dianne@lovelivingfit.com and placing the words “STV Free Progress Tracker” in the subject line. You will receive the tracker and a free bonus as our gift to you!

(c) Copyright - Dianne Orwig. All Rights Reserved Worldwide

A  factor that contributes to U2's success is its participative, consensus-oriented, decision-making approach.  The members of U2 argue relentlessly over their music, which reflects their passion for excellence. Bono has stated that this approach is frustrating at times but that U2 feels it is necessary to achieve excellence. The key here is that the band’s members appreciate each other’s strengths.

Bono has said that although he hears melodies in his head, he is unable to transfer them into written music.  Because he considers himself a “lousy guitar player and an even lousier piano player,” he relies on his fellow band members and recognizes that they are integral to his success.  To Bono, U2 is “the best example of how to rely on others.”

As human beings, we tend to overvalue our strengths and contributions and undervalue the strengths and contributions of others.  Don't make that mistake.  For each individual you regularly work with, take the time to learn how he or she thinks, his or her temperament and character values. I recommend applying the thinking styles identified by Robert Stenberg at Yale University, the Kiersey Temperament Sorter to test and understand temperaments, and the character value strengths identified by Martin Seligman. If you           

(1) invest the time to understand thinking styles, temperaments and character values,

(2) assemble teams with diverse strengths required in light of tasks the team mush accomplish and

(3) apply a participative, consensus-oriented approach to making decisions, your teams will consistently outperform the teams of leaders who do less.  

Previously, I wrote a post about the rock band U2 and how the band members' value one another as human beings rather than treating each another as human doings.  I explained how this value contributes to the band's extraordinary success.      

                                                   ________________________________

Michael Lee Stallard coaches and teaches leaders to increase strategic alignment, employee engagement, productivity and innovation. He is president of E Pluribus Partners, a leadership training and consulting firm, and the primary author of the bestselling book Fired Up or Burned Out: How to Reignite Your Team’s Passion, Creativity and Productivity. For more: www.MichaelLeeStallard.com 

Let's start with some definitions

First let's define the difference between right work and wrong work. Wrong work is work you don't enjoy; the work feels stifling and constraining. You don't look forward to going to work every day. You secretly hope some crisis occurs so you don't have to go because any alternative seems better then another wasted day at the office. Wrong work causes stress, anxiety, health problems, and relationship problems. Wrong work leaves you drained at the end of the day. You leave work asking yourself, how can I switch to anything else? Having wrong work feels like you are doing the work meant for other people. The work doesn't feel right for you. It doesn't match your interests and abilities.

Right work feels completely different! With right work you feel content and full of energy. Right work leaves you wanting more at the end of the day. You are excited, fulfilled, and feel like you are contributing to an area that is coherent for you. Having right work you feel happier and everything in your life seems to work much better as well. Right work makes you feel like you can do this work forever. You feel like your abilities and interests are aligned. You like the people you work with and they feel the same about you. Finally, with the right work you can't tell the difference between play and work, vocation and vacation, and you leave the office sad on Friday that you have to wait until Monday to continue!

Start to look in the right places

First, decide what places are right for you. Many times people tend to leave wrong work and continue to look for another wrong work! Decide now what work fits you! Where do people like you work? What type of people do you feel the most comfortable working around? Do you prefer to work alone? What kind of work would leave you breathless at the end of the day? What work would feel like play? What kind of work would get you excited about Mondays?

Talk to people who want to do what you want to do? If you can't decide now what you want to do for a lifetime, that's ok, but at least you can begin the search. Change your perspective. Are you always thinking of the past and worried about the future? It is time to change your thinking. Right here, right now, what is the work that you would love to do the most and why? If you know the why, you will find the how.

Try out test marketing approaches. Even if you want to work for someone else the steps are the same. Make a business card describing exactly what you want to do and who you want to be. At the bottom of the card, describe the services and or products that you want to sell. Use this new persona to promote yourself. People can't help you if you don't tell others what you want to do. If you plan to work for someone else, your elevator speech should take less than 20 seconds and clearly state something like this,"My name is Sammy and I have 23 years in the insurance industry as an IT professional and I am currently transitioning to working in the animal industry in a similar role and to be closer to the industry which I care about''. Ask the other person, “Do you have any ideas or contacts I could follow up with to assist on my search?” If you want to go into business for yourself the elevator speech is slightly different. If someone asks you about you and your work, you can respond with something like this, "I am the founder of XYZ company and I help people to focus on designing and or develop XYZ products and services''. It also adds a nice touch when you can say "this is my passion and life's work!”

Talk to the right people

Don't talk to people who have little interest in what you want to do. Best case is they will listen without adding value and worst case their opinions will confuse and frustrate you. Do talk to people who share your interests and passions. These people are easy to find if you attend the right meetings, conferences, read the right books, and join the right on-line forums. When you talk to others, who share your interests and already might be doing what you want to do, you can't help but pick up new ideas and insights.

Think about right things

Think about why this work is important for you. Think about how your life will be different once you start to do this work. Imagine your new work day actually doing work which interests you, gets you excited. Think about why this is exactly the right time in your life for positive change. What you focus on you will attract. Sadly, many people focus on what they don't want and this is what they end up with.

Try out new approaches

Be creative and try out new ideas you would be afraid to try before. Attend a conference, develop a new business card, or join an on-line group. Actually, start to offer services in the areas you feel most confident! If you feel you need more skills, attend school again, get a certificate, or at least attend a seminar. The best way to start doing work that is right for you is to give yourself small examples of proof along the way that you can do this. It usually starts small and then builds.

Be flexible and open to BIG changes

Normally big change is needed when moving towards the work that is right for you. Be prepared and open to this. Move towards pleasure in your life. As a result, you will be more open to change, more creative, and more proactive. The reverse strategy just holds you back. When people don't take risks, they are more negative, less receptive to new ideas, and reactive. Seeking change and being flexible are great attributes when looking for the right work.

Don't be afraid to ask for support!

Get a mentor or coach to help along the way. Usually our family members are interested, of course, but these are vested interests. Our family members usually like it when we stay the way we are and don't rock the boat . Better to seek out external experts who can listen, guide, and help you plan the second half of your life. 

Be prepared to make sacrifices

Ok, this is the part you don't want to hear! Finding right work IS major change and requires great sacrifice. The sacrifice can be different for each person. Generally, it will be around money and life standards in the short term. It can also be around relationships, and it can be around where one lives and multiple other trade-offs. The reason most people don't do the right work especially after 40 is because these life changes are hard to make especially without much external support.

Are you ready to make the needed changes NOW in your life?

Being ready is the most important first step. The second step is actually doing something about it. With a little risk and self trust, you can make the necessary changes now to find the work which is right for you at this time of your life. It won't be easy but it will be well worth it. As a result the bounce and energy will return to your step, you'll feel happier and, most important, gain a sense of fulfillment which will last a lifetime.

I'll be cheering you on as you go!

Craig Nathanson

Craig Nathanson is the author of "How to find the RIGHT work during challenging times: A new approach to your life and work after 40" and is a coaching expert who works with people over forty.

Visit Craig's online community at http://www.thevocationalcoach.com where you can take a class, get more ideas through Craig Nathanson’s books and CD’s, get some private coaching overthe phone or skype using webcam or in Craig’s office, or read other stories of mid-life change and renewal.

Craig lives and works in Petaluma, California. His office is located at P.O Box 2823, Petaluma Ca, 94953. You can reach him at 707-775-4020 or at craig@thevocationalcoach.com.

We find ourselves in a sphere of enormous change. Actually, this change might be labeled a national defining moment. Defining moments require us to stop and reflect before stepping up to claim our everyday courage. Before taking that critical first step, like the archer trying to hit a bull’s-eye, it is important to pause and ask a Socratic question: How do we unite as a country and in our communities to find our everyday courage, and how useful is it?

Courageous people often sacrifice and forgo immediate satisfaction by taking risks and hurdling obstacles to achieve a long-range goal. They identify, claim and apply the original definition of courage, meaning “heart and spirit.” When a situation requires them to “step up” and display authenticity, they do! Maybe that’s why the 2000 movie called The Legend of Bagger Vance affected me (or maybe it’s just that I am trying to find my authentic golf swing).

If you didn’t see the movie, a wise caddie named Bagger Vance teaches a troubled Southern golfer how to reach deep inside and find his “authentic swing.” He says: “This is the authentic swing you were born with—the authentic swing is all that you are! You’re just caught up with life’s ‘ought’s and should’s’.” The heart’s message is about having the courage to examine yourself, and that takes a boatload of courage! Socrates steps up again with his famous statement: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

We are in a time of second-guessing ourselves, reacting with knee-jerk reactions. Courage is a spiritual energy from the heart that in defining moments motivates you to take action. Using courage as an ally means bundling a combination of courageous actions, such as learning, persisting to be mindful of defining moments, and being 100 percent accountable for choices. Often, missed opportunities won’t come around again.

Without everyday courage, other virtues such as grace, intolerance and humility may not find their place. Courage is the umbrella to all the other virtues. During defining moments who designs your life?

I would love for you to share your courage comments.

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.