I remember reading Hamlet when I was in high school.  As Hamlet was setting off on his journey, Polonius gave him some advice.  As we got to this advice, the teacher stopped and said “This advice is timeless wisdom, pay attention.”  Here it is…

There … my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts hold in thy memory…

Look thou character.  Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar.

Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them to thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new hatched, unfledged comrade. 

Beware of entrance to a quarrel but, being in,
Bear it that the opposed may beware of thee.

Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man’s measure, but reserve thy judgment.

Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not expressed in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man;
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.

Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.

This above all: to thine own self be true,
and it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst be false to no man.

Farewell; my blessing season this in thee!

The final piece of advice – “This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst be to no man” – is at the heart of clarity of purpose and direction.  It is much easier to be true to yourself when you are clear in your purpose and direction in life.  As Polonius suggests, if you are true to yourself, you can’t be false to others.  More important, you can stay on the course to career and life success.

Roy Blackman, my father-in-law was so enamored of this advice that it was his final words of advice to his first grandson as he went off to college.  Roy lived by these words.  They were his epitaph, displayed prominently on the program at his funeral.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people clarify their purpose and direction.  Then they conduct themselves in a manner that is consistent with it.  Shakespeare, speaking as Polonius, offers some timeless advice on how to live in a manner that is consistent with your purpose and direction: “To thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst be false to no man.”  If you follow this advice you’ll be living your purpose and you’ll be well positioned to create the successful life and career you want and deserve.

That’s my take on Polonius’ advice to Hamlet and how it is as important today as it was when it was written hundreds of years ago.

Bud Bilanich is the author of seven books, including Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. 

A while back I blogged about a book called The Luck Factor by Richard Wiseman who claims that you can learn to be lucky.  In fact, Dr. Wiseman even lists five steps for learning to be lucky.

First, don’t assume there is nothing you can do about any situation.  Make the decision to take control.

Second, do something now.

Third, make a list of various options.  Be creative.  Brainstorm.  Come up with as many ideas as you can.

Fourth, decide how you will move forward.  Consider every possible alternative.

Fifth, take action.  Be prepared to adapt your action as the future unfolds.

Richard Wiseman calls this a prescription for learning to be lucky.  I call it committing to taking personal responsibility for creating a successful life and career.  Every one of the five steps above is a manifestation of your willingness to commit to taking personal responsibility for your life and career.

Let’s look at them again. 

First, deciding that you can control a situation is the first step to controlling it.  It’s like throwing a mental switch that puts you in charge and demonstrates your commitment to taking personal responsibility for your life and success.

Second, the mere act of doing something moves you forward.  You may not be successful the first – or even second or third time – but the fact that you try and keep trying is another manifestation of your commitment to taking responsibility for your life and career.

Third, thinking through your options puts you in control.  Often, it may seem that your options are limited.  However, if you take the time to review everything you can do in a given situation, you’ll be able to come up with some good ideas for getting on top of any situation you face.

Fourth, choose an option, put it into play, and see what happens.  If it doesn’t work, choose another one.  If that doesn’t work, choose another one.  In this way, you are not only being systematic about creating your own success, you are demonstrating the resilience common to people who commit to taking personal responsibility for their success.

Fifth, be adaptable.  What works at first may no longer work as you move forward.  If you’re committed to taking personal responsibility for yourself and your success, you’ll change with the times.  You won’t sit back and bemoan the fact that things have changed.  You’ll be in charge, changing with the times – and even causing the times to change.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people commit to taking personal responsibility for their lives and careers.  You can demonstrate your commitment to taking personal responsibility for you success by doing five things:

1) Decide you are in control. 

2) Do something to show yourself you are in control. 

3) Think through all of your options in a given situation. 

4) Choose an option and act.  If it doesn’t work, choose another option. 

5) Be adaptable.  Change with the times. 

In The Luck Factor, Richard Wiseman calls these five steps a method for learning to be lucky.  I say they are a recipe for demonstrating your commitment to taking personal responsibility for your life and career.

Bud is the author of seven books, including Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. 

P.S. If something bad happens here's what you do to keep the luck going:

Here are some tips from Richard Wiseman on distracting your thoughts away from ill fortune.

• Go to the gym – exercise is a great way to take your mind off your problems and it also lifts your mood.
• Watch a funny film – choose a film that makes you laugh, and try your best to become involved in the story.
• Spend about twenty minutes thinking about a positive event that happened in the past – relive the event in your mind and think about how you felt at the time.
• Listen to music – again, choose something that makes you feel happy, and try to become involved in the music.
• Arrange to see your friends – talk about what's happening in their lives.
  

The other day I came across a prayer attributed to Cary Grant.  I’ve edited it for brevity, but the important ideas are still there…“Release me from trying to straighten out everyone’s affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing. Take a look…

“Lord, keep me from the habit of thinking I must say something on every subject and on every occasion.  Keep my tongue free from the recital of endless details.

“Seal my lips on my aches and pains.  I ask for grace enough to listen to the retelling of others’ afflictions and to be helped to endure them with patience.

“Release me from trying to straighten out everyone’s affairs. Make me thoughtful, but not moody, helpful but not overbearing.

“Give me improved memory with growing humility and an ability to capitulate when my memory clashes with the memory of others. Teach me the glorious lesson that on some occasions, I may be mistaken.

“Keep me reasonably kind.  An embittered person is a constant burden.

“Please give me the ability to see good in unlikely places and talents in unexpected people. And give me the grace to tell them so.”

That is some prayer – and the embodiment of interpersonal competence.  Cary Grant asked for the gifts of: silence and listening; the ability to empathize with others’ afflictions without going into detail about his; the tendency to give unwanted and unasked for advice; the willingness to admit is mistakes; kindness; and the ability to see the good in others – and to tell them so.

I have printed this prayer and have hung it in my office.  I aspire to all of the characteristics for which Cary Grant prayed.  I hope that God will give me these gifts too.  Because if He does, I know I will become an interpersonally competent person.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people – listen to and empathize with others; avoid giving unwanted and unsolicited advice; admit their mistakes; are kind; see the good in others and tell them so.  This is a pretty high standard to set for yourself.  But, it’s best to set high goals.  So do yourself a favor and set the goal of living up to these ideals.  The people in your life will thank you, and you’ll be well on your way to becoming a truly interpersonally competent person.

That’s my take on Cary Grant’s prayer and interpersonal competence.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud is the author of seven books, including Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.