I'm struck deeply by South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's pain that was so evident on Wednesday.

He risked everything for a woman who lives thousands of miles away.  He betrayed his wife, his constituents and backers, his Christian ideals and morals.  For what?   For lust?  No, that's what Governor Eliot Spitzer of New York did with call girls.  Sanford risked it all for one person who's in her 40's. He risked his picture-perfect family, reputation and career for love.  

Strong are the strings of one's heart.  How dangerous and tenuous to ignore the call of your feelings.  Another politician, the former Senator from New Jersey, Bill Bradley once told me, "Feeling is as important as thinking."  The struggling Governor of South Carolina, like many over-achievers, may not have believed this bit of wisdom.  And now, he has to.  Because his heart, long chained in his arch-discipline and Christian super-morality, has broken out of its bonds for all the world to see.  He himself said, "The odyssey that we're all on in life is with regard to heart."  Heart!  Not just head.  What is guiding your life?  What feelings are you respecting as you make your daily choices about whom to be with, what to do?  It's the oldest balancing act in the history of humankind. Pay attention to your feelings -- they will not long be ignored.

I'm not condoning adultery.  And I do not delight in Sanford's agony.  I do not even laud his public confession.  I am only an observer of the human condition.  And from Mark Sanford's eyes I know this.  Feeling is as important as thinking.

Donald  

Donald Van de Mark has interviewed hundreds of leaders in business and politics including: Andrew Weil, MD, former U.S. Senator Bill Bradley, Jack Welch, Starbucks' Howard Schultz and Intel's Andy Grove, in his nearly 3 decades as a correspondent and anchor at CNN, CNBC and public television.

He integrates practical tips from these great leaders to provide a riveting motivational speech on the personality traits of successful people. Donald is also the host of the corporate training video, The Wisdom of Caring Leaders. 

Donald will speak at San Francisco's Commonwealth Club on July 16th, 2009 about great and good leaders, the subject of his upcoming book.

Brevity is hard to achieve with the written word as well.  In TV news, the old adage among writers is “That it’s not hard to write well.  It’s hard to write short!”  

When I interviewed Intel Co-Founder, Andy Grove I was struck by the concision as well as the precision of his language. (Jacques Cousteau was even more elegant in his speech).  Precise thinkers speak with a disciplined care that makes them more discerning in their thinking, their ideas and then their conclusions and advice… everything! 

There’s a lot of interesting research on whether language precedes thought.  Thought and language certainly rely on each other.  As a correspondent and anchorman I had to ad lib in very short and exact time segments. You could also lose your job if you uttered an expletive.  So, I learned to be very careful with my speech which required modifying my habits.  For instance, I stopped swearing completely. 

If you are deliberate with your speech, you will be more respectful of the facts (and hopefully of others) which requires that you be more rigorous with your memory, data, analysis, opinion and judgment.  And ultimately you’ll be more wedded to reality. 

On the subject of language, pay attention to those for whom English is a second or third language.  The smart ones use words so much more creatively and often more precisely than those of us for whom English is our first language.  It can help shake up one’s stale thinking and sometimes it’s funny, wacky or sexy… sometimes all in the same phrase. 

Gannedi Nedvigin of the San Francisco Ballet, once described this Japanese spa which he would frequent on his days off.  Someone asked this ripped Principal dancer if he was ever watched or even propositioned in the baths and he carefully repeated the word, “Propp-oh-zih-shunned?” then answered, “No.  But they watch… too many sneaky eyes!” 

Too often, native English speakers get lazy and fall back on a kind of short hand full of banal clichés and idiomatic expressions.  The most trite as I write: “It is what it is.”  If that’s all you have to add, then be a well and just listen.  

Series on the 19 Personality Traits of Successsful People

Donald Van de Mark has interviewed hundreds of leaders in business and politics including: Andrew Weil, MD, former U.S. Senator Bill Bradley, Jack Welch, Starbucks' Howard Schultz and Intel's Andy Grove, in his nearly 3 decades as a correspondent and anchor at CNN, CNBC and public television.

He integrates practical tips from these great leaders to provide a riveting motivational speech on the personality traits of successful people. Donald is also the host of the corporate training video, The Wisdom of Caring Leaders.