I recently was asked about how to control anger, especially in the workplace with all the stress people feel from the economic crisis.

Anger can distort our self-perceptions and do harm to the relationships with people important to us, both inside and outside of work. Handling our emotions is a tricky process if we don't have the proper self-management skills. I've asked Mark Maraia, a relationship development coach and trainer who works with people, specifically partners in large law firms, on just such issues as yours. Here's his response:

MM: I'm often asked, "How do I stop from getting angry?" And the answer I give is, "You don't. What you need to learn is a process for releasing the emotion."

Most people are trying to control or manage their anger. It never occurs to them that they can release it--completely! Stifling our feelings or our urges to act out in anger doesn't work. People can read us sometimes better than we can ourselves. Stifling our feelings will work against us because when we deny or suppress anger, we end up projecting it. Either we turn it inward, which leads to depression or disease, or we turn it outward, which leads to many of the annoying habits Marshall discusses in his book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There.

My own path of self-discovery led me to a startling conclusion: We don't get angry at facts; we get angry at our interpretation of facts. This means, that we have a choice about how we respond to an event or person that triggers our anger. We're going to get angry - this is a perfectly natural emotion. The problem isn't our anger; it's our attempt to justify it rather than release it. Let's be clear: if you put energy into justifying your anger you CAN'T release it. However, most people find anger or intense rage unpleasant and are highly motivated to rid themselves of it.

When people are hijacked by their anger, I ask them: What process do you have (in the moment) for dealing with negative emotions like anger? Most people don't have an answer. Some have coping mechanisms, such as stifling or projecting; some use physical exercise, which is useful, but not so much in the moment.

I've learned a thought process for dealing with negative emotions that I have practiced for more than 20 years. Anyone can use this tool to deal with negative emotions "in the moment" and later if the negative feeling resurfaces. This is a process of rejecting the negative emotion and it actually interrupts this "doom loop." Rejecting negative emotions can be used in many situations, both personal and business, in the moment -- without anyone knowing you're doing it!

Here's how it works. The next time you are overcome with a negative emotion, ask yourself this question: "What am I feeling at this moment?" Get in touch with the feeling or emotion first. Once you've done that, make a silent declaration to yourself that you don't want it anymore! For instance, when someone dangerously cuts you off on the freeway, your thought might be: "I do not want this anger" (or "rage," if it's that bad).

Then, replace the feeling with a constructive thought. In this way you make a conscious choice to have a positive state of mind. Your thought might be: "I do not want this anger. I choose to be at peace instead."

This new skill will take practice. It will probably feel awkward at first. But with enough practice it will become a habit and you will find yourself working through negative emotions in minutes or hours rather than obsessing for days, weeks, or years!

Readers - Do you have difficulties releasing negative emotions? If so, please try this thought process and send your comments on how it works for you! If you would like to ask Mark a question, he can be reached at mark@markmaraia.com. I know that it is tough out there for many people today. Many of you have a right to feel angry. My advice is simple - change what you can - and do your best to 'make peace' with what you cannot change.

I was recently asked the following question: "The economy will always have its ups and downs. That's why our company has two playbooks: one for running the company in an up period and another in a down period. If we enter a down period, we immediately switch to the down period playbook with its set of well-defined behaviors. Is this a good idea? And can a company still make money during bad times?"

To answer your question, I decided to turn to Philip Kotler, the well-known marketing guru at the Kellogg School of Management, Northwestern University. Phillip has just recently published a book with John Caslione called Chaotics: The Business of Managing and Marketing in the Age of Turbulence. Here's his advice:

PK: Having two playbooks, one for good times and one for bad times, is a good start but far from sufficient. For example, at the start of a downturn, companies tend to cut their hiring, advertising, and new product development. But to do this mechanically without addressing the causes of the downturn, the actions of their competitors, and the perceived length and depth of the crisis doesn't make sense. I am against robot responses.

A company can make money in bad times. Some companies will be favored because they are known to offer good value for a low price, such as Wal-Mart and McDonald's. Their sales will increase and although their profits might be lower than in good times, they will do fairly well.

Other companies have a number of options:

• Lower your prices to create a better ratio of value to price. You can lower your list prices or initiate more sale promotions (discounts, two for the price of one, etc.)
• Introduce a lower-cost version of your offering where you have removed some features or benefits. It will probably cannibalize your higher priced offer, but it is better to cannibalize yourself than to have competitors do this to you.
• Add some additional benefits to your standard offer. Offer free shipment, extend your guarantee, or create a more generous return policy. In the latter case, Hyundai recently offered to take back a purchased car if the buyer loses his or her job. GM and Ford have offered to make the laid-off car-buyer's payments for them.

In taking any of these steps, make sure that your company doesn't dent the favorable aspects that have drawn customers to prefer and respect it. For example, a company that is admired for its level of service should never cut its service quality and risk losing this point of differentiation and preference. The key is to understand your customers' new problems and to consider how you can help them solve or resolve these problems. You have to coach your customer about possible solutions.

These are some ways to respond to the current downturn. But what about anticipating the next one? Every company is vulnerable not only to an economic downturn but to other disruptions that may come from technological change or from new global competitors. So the question becomes: how can companies do a better job of anticipating disruption? Companies generally do a poor job of monitoring the environment for clues to these threats. They lack an early warning system that might pick up weak signals of change. An early warning system would greatly reduce the level of surprise and chaos felt by a company that was too naïve.

The company then has to go further and imagine additional possibilities even before there is a sign that they might be taking place. For example, General Motors might ask: "What if China finds a way to make a battery that can hold a charge for 200 miles instead of the 90 miles that we are hoping to get out of our new battery?" A company must imagine new surprises.

Business is now exposed to continuous turbulence, not occasional turbulence. We aren't going back to normal times. The "new normality" is one of turbulence coming from two big forces, namely technological advances and globalization. All this spells higher risk and vulnerability.

There is a little rainbow in all of this. Change presents opportunity as well as vulnerability. The companies that succeed are those who look more at the opportunity side than the vulnerability side. If your company is having trouble, so are your competitors. If you are better funded, you can initiate lower prices or better benefits that they can't match. You can end up buying some of your competitors or putting them out of business.

Your customers, suppliers, and distributors are all suffering. Think about how to help them. Think about developing a new business model, a new product or service, a lower cost distribution channel, a lower cost supply chain. Rather than just relying on a rulebook, be more robust, resilient, and responsive to changing conditions.

MG: Thank you for Philip! Readers, for more on responding to the challenges of increased turbulence, please go to www.chaoticsstrategy.com. Please send in your comments about how your company is making money in today's economy.