If you don’t take risks, you’ll never have anything you haven’t already got. It’s like cleaning out closets. Until you make room for new things, you’re stuck with what you’ve got.    Barbara Osach 

Carol Leavitt moved to St. George, Utah, from Salt Lake City to follow her husband who took a new job in the rural community where he grew up. Carol left behind her job as director of organizational development for Fidelity Investment Mutual Funds and a twenty-year network of friends and business contacts.

She says, “I had just created a course on Work Life Balance and I wanted to walk the talk which took me from six figures in Salt Lake City to zero in St. George. I gave myself permission to start my own consulting business. It was challenging. I knew no one. I looked in the paper and serendipitously found a women’s organization, National Women at Work. I went and introduced myself as corporate trainer. I got a few nibbles and became more aggressive. I would walk into the business office of a company and say, ‘This is your lucky day. I am here to help your organization.’”

To give ourselves permission to step out of our safety zone that boxes us in requires curiosity and sometimes, as in Carol’s case, necessity. Transitions are a good time to ask, “What am I really made of? Can I do it?” When successful women look at decision making as a function of satisfying their curiosity, they direct their thoughts to include broader, more intellectual, and objective view points instead of narrow, purely emotional reasoning. Curiosity makes us feel alive, energized, challenged.

Carol gave herself permission to take the risk, and to have fun with it. Wildly successful women realize that every risk comes with both an upside and a downside. Focusing on the downside leads straight to fear, while concentrating on the upside creates a mindset that tolerates risk and the tough decisions that accompany it.

What makes people good risk takers? They know that risk is part responsibility and part opportunity. They combine outlook, information, and intuition in a way that helps them succeed in all kinds of situations—especially during transitional periods in their lives and careers.

Questions to ask ourselves to give us permission to take risks with confidence:

·                Determine, if not now, when?

·                Practice unlimited thinking

·                Consider long term effects of risking or not

·                Be willing to start at bottom, but think big

·                Plan, act, and evaluate

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Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam, collaborating with her husband, wrote Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com.  

“I’m providing a better way of life for 800 employees.”   Amelia McCoy, retired Founder and CEO, Rainbows and Halos by Amelia

The day I first interviewed Amelia McCoy she was preparing to fly from her home in Oklahoma City to the CBS Studios in Hollywood to tape a segment of the television show “How Did You Do That?” Recognizing that Amelia had grown a multimillion dollar business from her talent for making pretty bows for her granddaughters’ hair, the producers of the show were curious: how did this woman become the Small Business Person of the Year in 1992 and what tips could she share with today's entrepreneurs? 

It all started with a compliment. Amelia had made her granddaughters beautiful hair bows to match the outfits they wore in dance recitals and beauty pageants. “Mothers came up to me to ask where the bows were purchased. I was thrilled to tell them that I made them myself. This made me realize, ‘Hey, I could do this.’” 

Amelia didn’t need a business background to recognize the potential in her product. Her first break came when she was commissioned to make all of the seventy-seven bows for the Miss Diamond Pageant in Oklahoma. Amelia ventured further into the community to craft shows and beauty shops; then buoyed by her successes, she walked into the local Wal-Mart store. “I asked the store manager if he wanted to buy my bows. He said, ‘Of course I would, but I can’t do that.’” 

When Amelia asked, “why not?” her business education began. Until then, Amelia wasn’t aware that large corporations had their own purchasing departments, or that a store manager alone could not make a decision to buy an item. “Understand, I didn’t finish high school. I was married when I was sixteen. I had never worked a day away from home.” 

The store manager brought Amelia in to present her bows at a district meeting that happened to be held at the store that day. When they asked how she packaged them, she had no idea what they were talking about, so she asked them. At the end of her presentation, the purchasing manager agreed to let her stand in the front of the local store and make bows as a Christmas promotion. “I started the second day of December. I turned fifty-two on the sixth of December. Everybody loved my bows, and mine became some of the first bows Wal-Mart carried.” 

Amelia was thrilled to win Wal-Mart as a customer, but she was shocked by how many bows they wanted. “It scared me to death. I called for help. I called my daughter, daughters-in-law, and all of my neighbors. We managed to assemble sixty bows in two days.” Amelia netted $1,700 during that Christmas promotion. She was officially in business. 

Within a year Amelia was selling her bows in five states. Her hair accessory products are carried by more than ten national chains. How did she do that? She learned her business one step at a time. She learned how to sell and she got help from the board of directors that she acquired. She called on people in her community to make her bows.  

“I have many older people making bows. Others are young mothers with children. They all make the bows in their homes—they’re cottage industry workers.” Success for Amelia is knowing that she created a business that helped her workers to better their lives. 

Key points to Amelia’s story:

1. Listen to compliments ; they are the windows to success.
2. Never believe that you are too old or inexperienced to create your own success.
3. Take baby steps for training before you try to step into the big leagues, but do shoot for the moon.
4. Call on others to help you.
5. Know that your success can lead to the benefit of others.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Pam Gilberd, www.pamgilberd.net, wirtes and speaks on career, life, and success issues.

Her books include: The Eleven Commandments of Wildly Successful Women., The Twelfth Commandment of Wildly Successful Women, and Leadership Secrets of Elizabeth I.

One of my PhD students did a study that looked at coffee shops as places where people go to feel connected. They take their lap tops, buy one cup of coffee, and stay there for hours.   Dr. Judith Rosener, professor at the Graduate Business School at University of California, Irvine, California

          As life gets more complex,people want more simplicity. They seek simple solutions to complicated questions. Dr. Judith Rosener, a professor at the University of California, says, ““The feeling of not being connected causes a need for something. My theory is that spiritualism today is a need because we’re so disconnected. Even though I don’t like cell phones, being on cell phones and being on computers provide ways for people connect today.” She tells us about a study that one of her students conducted about people hanging out in coffee shops. “They could work at home but they feel a part of something by being in coffee shops. Not surprisingly, coffee shop owners are losing money because of it. Life is getting too complicated, and people are feeling disconnected.”

While many of the women I’ve interviewed recently agree that complexity can lead to feeling disconnected, not all agree that it leads to a spiritual search. Although, most feel there exists a great yearning for meaning and connection. Women today have more options than ever before in their careers and personal lives, but that the wealth of options offers a mixed bag of feelings ranging from a great sense of opportunity to that of utter confusion.

Just as we can use technology to free our time or fill it, we can take advantage of our options to lead to a fulfilling life or to one that’s just plain overloaded. Due to the speed of work thanks to the Internet—and to the ability for people to work alone from home with web conference calls rather than face-to-face meetings—more and more people feel disconnected, “off the radar screen” as one young woman puts it.

When we feel down we wish for something to sustain us, make us feel strong and not so alone, and ultimately to make us feel happy. Many women rely on spiritual journeys, forays into nature, or renewed devotion to their religious beliefs to guide them through difficult times. Sometimes women start their spiritual search for meaning because they’ve achieved their previously-set goals year after year and want to know the answer to “Is that all there is?”

Look at the effects of having too many options in your life. Consider the following:

·       Search for meaning through connecting and/or helping others.

·       Believe that there are choices, different ways to handle “too many” options.

·       Connect with your roots, your heritage, as a connection to a missing link.

·       Use your spirituality and religious beliefs as your personal GPS.

·       “No” is the answer to, “Is that all there is?” There’s always more for you to create.

Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam, collaborating with her husband, wrote Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com. 

I am successful if I feel joy every day. I could add money, health, and all those things that I used to think that in my 20s and 30s. But now I see it differently. I want to play and have fun and laugh every day. And do something significant every day. That brings me joy.  Carol Leavitt, MBA, Management Consultant, Leadership Coach, St. George, UT 

Cathie Straub, a financial consultant in Anchorage, Alaska, believes that for most of us success evolves as we age. “Back in my 20s, success was all about climbing the career ladder and making the most money at that time. I didn't have as many competing factors for my time back then.  I now think of my success as how well I balance all aspects of my life. A balanced life equals happiness for me.” As I’ve talked to successful women over the years, I’ve seen how they have expanded the traditional definition of success of wealth, power, and fame. It includes not only the well-known tangible trappings of success, but intangibles such as finding a way to make a difference in the world, integrating passion with their work, and making sure that their work reflects their priorities and values. These intangibles in no way have meant that they had to give up wealth, fame, and power, but recognizing them has led to more satisfying ways to work and live.

Although it’s true that definitions of success aren’t based solely on financial criteria, money is a more-than-valid indicator of success. The trick that successful women know is how to combine inner satisfaction with financial security. They see success as an amalgam of well-being, personal satisfaction, making a difference, having fun, and making enough money to support themselves, their families, and their interests handsomely.

Happiness has entered into the lexicon of personal success in a huge way in the past dozen years. Some believe that this trend is due to Far Eastern thought filtering into our Western culture. Whatever the explanation, globalization impacts us in many areas of our lives, including expanding our view of success.

Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam, collaborating with her husband, wrote Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com. 

"Regardless what I’m doing and the circumstances, my relationship to those circumstances are completely under my control. It’s very empowering to know that."  Barbara Bordow Osach, Financial Coach and Author, Connecticut

Wildly successful women tell me they believe in the power of choice in order to manage the one thing in life that they truly can control: their thoughts. They remain positive and energetic with life-enhancing thought patterns. This core belief that they have the power to choose affects every aspect of their lives: their strength and energy to build fulfilling careers; their ability to show compassion and create caring relationships; their talent for leading others, and their proclivity for living interesting lives. It is the source of their joie de vivre.

Whether we see ourselves gracefully gliding across a dance floor or sitting comfortably at the sidelines, every day we dance to our own rhythm of life—sometimes fast and chaotic and other times slow and repetitive. How we interpret the music of life determines our view of ourselves and our lives.

Women admire other women as much for their ability to overcome challenges with grace, as for developing wonderful businesses—maybe more. Many successful women see life as a great adventure despite many complications. While many survived amazingly difficult situations, survival is not the same thing as growth. The importance of their messages comes from their transformation into stronger, wiser women with more courage and grace than ever before.

Get in step with the rhythm of success. Do what they do when faced with life’s complications:

·            Appreciate even welcome difficult periods of life

·            Believe in the power of choice

·            Keep an open mind

·            Accept change as the New Normal

Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam loves to encourage others to try things they’ve never done before to expand their interests and relationships. Pam and her husband did just that by renovating a house—with their own hands and writing about it in their newly released she-said, he-said book Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com. 

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If you don’t see the world through young people’s eyes, and through their generation, you are just a has-been. The obligation is to remain young in your head.  Marylène Delbourg-Delphis, Executive Entrepreneur Coach, Palo Alto, California

Today’s world demands far more speed and technology, and requires greater understanding of global and generational issues than ever before. Staying young at heart simply isn’t enough. Learning the language of youth would be a good start to stay “young at mind” but there’s more we can do. Successful women such as Marylène Delbourg-Delphis insist that we “continually have to think ‘new’ because people are different, times are different, technology is different, and customers are different” in order to join the excitement of the rapidly evolving world around us.

She’s right. The more we keep abreast of new technologies, gadgets and Internet sites, the more we understand the people who use them. Since many accomplished women credit much of their success to their ability to form sound relationships with a wide array of people, we appreciate that our need to communicate has taken on a new urgency because of the speed of change.

Career counselors have observed in the past that women tried to make it in the world of business by adopting the dominant male model of behavior and success. While we can still find corporations that hold tightly to the dominant male culture, thankfully women have more choices of where to work today. Our old ways of trying to fit into the men’s world of work seem almost silly to the younger generations. Many young women either don’t realize what the culture was like way back then—twenty or thirty years ago—or think it inconceivable that intelligent women believed that wearing a tie and acting like a man would make them accepted into the men’s inner sanctum of the business world. This lack of understanding stems more from lack of communication and understanding than lack of compassion. This holds true for those in the older generations who can’t fathom young people’s approach to life and work.

Generational differences become ever more relevant when we consider that we now have a workplace with four generations of people working together. Since people are living longer, many retire and then decide to go back to work. Their tried and true ways of thinking differ from many young people’s values, work ethics, and definitions of success. Dr. Judith Rosener, professor at the Graduate Business School at University of California in Irvine says, “How we see the work world depends on our timeframe perspective and where we have been raised.” Judy adds, “This is a big problem from the standpoint of a manager, who has to understand that these differences exist so that they are able to direct and challenge these different values.”

Women who coach companies on inter-generational relations have found plenty of work in the last decade as more generations squeeze into the same workplace. This collision of young and old cultures offers great advantages to both groups when conversation starts and understanding opens eyes.

Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam loves to encourage others to try things they’ve never done before to expand their interests and relationships. Pam and her husband did just that by renovating a house—with their own hands and writing about it in their newly released she-said, he-said book Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com. 

           Finding how to get in step with our own joie de vivre in this rapidly changing world is no secret. It comes from getting in touch with who we are—our soul. “Be real” has become the new mantra of many wildly successful people. They know that without authenticity they sacrifice satisfaction and a true sense of direction.

When Lorene Morgan, an artist in Carmel Valley, California, sought the answers to a personal dilemma on a solo road trip to Arizona, she woke up one morning and saw very clearly the following words in her mind’s eye, as if handwritten in the sky:

BE YOURSELF

BE UPLIFTING TO OTHERS

AND DRINK IN THE RAIN

 Three great observers of life offer an explanation of this message:

Be Yourself. “There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.” This quote is by Howard Thurman, who mentored Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Be Uplifting to Others. When we lift the spirits of others, or help them in some way, we feel a sense of purpose and happiness. “To love ourselves is to love life. It is essential to understand that we make ourselves happy in making others happy.” This passage is from A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill: Happiness (Little, Brown and Company, 2006) by Matthieu Ricard. Matthieu is a Buddhist monk who early in his life left his career as a molecular biologist in France to study Buddhism. Ode magazine in April, 2007 deemed him the “happiest man in the world” based on studies of his brain waves.

Drink in the Rain. When we face our difficulties and learn from them we blossom and grow. “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom,” written by Anais Nin, a French writer.

Successful women say that they can’t emphasize enough the importance of being true to our self, knowing our self, valuing our self, and being kind to our self. They place helping others and learning from adversity right up at the top of the list, as well.

It’s not a lot to remember, but the effects are huge:

BE YOURSELF

BE UPLIFTING TO OTHERS

AND DRINK IN THE RAIN

Pam writes and speaks on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success. Pam loves to encourage others to try things they’ve never done before to expand their interests and relationships. Pam and her husband did just that by renovating a house—with their own hands—and writing about it in their she-said, he-said book Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com.  

“My dance would be a wild tap dance on Broadway. It would let everyone see just how full of love for life I am. It would make everyone feel the same way. Smiles from ear to ear on everyone, including me!“  Claudine Fletcher, Owner, retired, A Quality Journey, California

Whether we see ourselves gracefully gliding across a dance floor or sitting comfortably at the sidelines, every day we dance to our own rhythm of life—sometimes fast and chaotic and other times slow and repetitive. How we interpret that rhythm determines our view of ourselves and our lives.

I have found that first and foremost, wildly successful women such as Claudine Fletcher believe in the power of choice in order to manage the one thing in life that they truly can control: their reactions to life’s complications. This core belief—that they have the power to choose—affects every aspect of their lives: their strength and energy to build fulfilling careers; their ability to show compassion and create caring relationships; their talent for leading others, and their proclivity for living interesting lives. It is the source of their joie de vivre.

When I ask successful women to describe their life as a dance, I repeatedly hear that while it includes many unexpected reversals, twists, and turns, they look upon their dance with a sense of humor, joy, and pride. Their ability to enjoy their dance springs from their capability to “foresee” themselves adapting well to change through the power of their choices. As such, they choose to live in the moment and stay flexible when faced with unanticipated outcomes.

Who wouldn’t want to get in step with a woman such as Claudine Fletcher quoted above; a woman who can describe her life as a dance with such enthusiasm, energy, and happiness?! We feel drawn to those who radiate warmth, confidence, direction, and compassion; those who live life to the fullest and want us to join in the fun.

But, who is Claudine Fletcher?

I heard about Claudine via word of mouth, as I do most of the women I interview. Their peers, employees, daughters or mothers, friends and bosses refer them to me because they respect and admire these women and believe that their stories contain valuable lessons. Sometimes when I first approach them, they hesitate at the words “wildly successful” because, after all, they’re human. Not everything in every area of their lives is perfect. They get depressed, hurt feelings, and experience bad days and major setbacks like the rest of us. But they don’t stay down long.

Women admire other women as much for their ability to overcome challenges with grace as for developing wonderful businesses—maybe more. Claudine, like the many wildly successful women I’ve interviewed, sees life as a great adventure despite many complications. While many survived amazingly difficult situations, survival is not the same thing as growth. The importance of their messages comes from their transformation into stronger, wiser women with more courage and grace than ever before.

To get in step with the rhythm of the wildly successful women, do the following:

1. Embrace each moment
2. Believe in the power of choices
3. Remember the importance of flexibility
4. Accept change with gusto

Have fun,

Pam

Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam loves to encourage others to try things they’ve never done before to expand their interests and relationships. Pam and her husband did just that by renovating a house—with their own hands and writing about it in their newly released she-said, he-said book Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com.  

            “The greatest financial mistakes I see women make are to not get involved with their family finances, to spend way too much money on their children and their house, and not to plan seriously for retirement.” Catherine M. Straub, Financial Resources, Inc., in Anchorage, Alaska

We’ve all heard the toast, “May you be healthy, wealthy, and wise.” Successful women say it’s essential to take care of our physical and mental health, learn to manage our finances well, and preferably to have the wisdom to live our lives gracefully and joyfully. We can only rely on ourselves to stay fit, become financially savvy, and enjoy life.

Sally Edwards, CEO of HeartZones, and founder of The Sally Edwards Way in Sacramento, California, joins many others who see the U.S. national health situation as a primary concern. Sally says, “My passion is to get America fit. As individuals we need to lighten the emotional and metabolic load we carry with us from inactivity and not eating well, and by not taking care of our emotions. It’s not easy to do. It’s a health crisis situation but it’s not catching us by surprise. The unfortunate part is that people have become more and more inactive.” Sally realizes that while she can provide the structure, only individuals themselves can take the initiative to participate. However, she notes that with encouragement, more will get fit. “We do it word of mouth. One woman does it and then gets five of her girlfriends. It’s a ‘tell a friend’ method. It works.”

Just as successful women want to help others develop more healthy lifestyles, they want to assist women to learn how to take personal responsibility for their finances, and put an end to financial ignorance and the potential for economic ruin. Catherine M. Straub, a financial strategist who owns Financial Resources, Inc., in Anchorage, Alaska, has made her career helping people become financially savvy. She says, “The greatest financial mistakes I see women make are to not get involved with their family finances, to spend way too much money on their children and their house, and not to plan seriously for retirement.” To successful women, money is freedom: freedom to choose to accept or reject a new client, freedom to take time off to change jobs, freedom to travel and spend time with family and friends.

Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam loves to encourage others to try things they’ve never done before to expand their interests and relationships. Pam and her husband did just that by renovating a house—with their own hands and writing about it in their newly released she-said, he-said book Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com. 

"One of the biggest challenges that I still face is the one I call “Too many desserts on the buffet table of life.” C.J. Hayden, Wings Business Coaching

Over the years I’ve often felt that I was living more than one life at a time, or that I was shot-gunning my way through life, going in so many different directions; getting so many different things done each day in so many different categories.  It can be rather disconcerting. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed, scattered, unproductive and tired. Plus, it sounds and feels negative.

The other day I came up with a new description of my predicament: Mille Feuille (“thousand leaves” in French). What I’m referring to is the tasty French dessert that is made with a “thousand” layers of puff pastry with creamy sugar filling in between, also known as a Napoleon. I think dealing with layers sounds and feels a lot better than being tugged in too many directions. It implies that each layer is tasty, yummy and a treat, rather than a chore that needs to be addressed.  

Right now my life-layers include everything from taking my 95 year-old dad to physical therapy appointments and baby sitting grandchildren to marketing my husband's and my book and planning get-togethers with friends. These layers make my life rich and interesting, purposeful and rewarding. 

So, now each day starts just as busy as the last, but with a happy new flavor to it. My layers will always be there, I wouldn’t want it any other way. So instead of worrying about how busy I am and getting myself stressed, I look forward to working on the layers of the day, seeing which ones get done, discovering new layers that come up.

I don’t know why, but the idea of layers, a Mille Feuille approach, makes me calmer. It’s a more cheerful way to approach life and work. It almost makes my mouth water.

Besides writing and speaking on topics relating to women in business, entrepreneurship and success, Pam loves to encourage others to try things they’ve never done before to expand their interests and relationships. Pam and her husband did just that by renovating a house—with their own hands and writing about it in their newly released she-said, he-said book Under the Carmel Valley Sun: An Adventure in Remodeling, Relationships and Red Wine. Check it out at www.underthecarmelvalleysun.com.