What consumes your time? In an O, Magazine issue, Oprah wrote: “How you spend your time defines who you are. I try not to waste time—because I don’t want to waste myself.”

Does it seem that everyone but you runs your life? A coaching client shared that she feels her life seems to belong to someone else. She said, “Many times, I feel that I am ‘doing’ everything I don’t really want to do. I always wonder: Where did the time go? Who controls my life anyway?”   

Welcome to the way of life you (we) created! Only one enemy hovers silently in your life. What’s that, you ask? Time! Watch people. They are totally overwhelmed trying to control their work and personal schedules. Trapped in the domination of Enemy Number One, you can see them sulking and hear them huffing: “I’m sooooo busy! I have too much to do, and no time to do it (especially this time of the year)!” It’s as if “busy” has become a status symbol. Do you feel like your nose is always to the grindstone?

What consumes your time? In an O, Magazine issue, Oprah wrote: “How you spend your time defines who you are. I try not to waste time—because I don’t want to waste myself.” Of that same notion, I recently heard a seventy-year-old woman say, “I don’t read books unless they heal my body, mind and spirit. Each day is too precious. I am conscious about whom I share time with and whether I will go to a movie or paint. Solitude is a key part of my day—that’s when I stop to meditate—I invite God into my life.” This woman was conscious that being present to her actions and choices allowed her to acknowledge her spirit (as if it was her last day). The point is that we don’t have to wait for retirement to experience this. 

Slowing down could be the single most effective action to initiate your courage : it allows you to come from your “heart and spirit,” the origin of the word courage. What would happen if you stopped for ten minutes, right now? Spiritual teacher, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D., suggests that we stop for a moment all our doing and shift into the “being mode.” How? Don’t make one more phone call. Don’t sit and catch up on the business journals piling up on the floor by your reading chair. Don’t boot up to check if any new emails came in. This stress management guru reminds us that when we “stop” we can be more present. Transformation in courage has to do with moving what you know to be true to a deeper level. Then, your life becomes more vivid and simpler. 

Being comes from a peaceful place within, usually discovered when you undertake a contemplative journey. Contemplative founder Thomas Keating says this is not so much an exercise of attention as intention—what I call the “Declaration of Courageous Intention”—having the courage to declare that stopping in your life is important to stay present. Embracing “being,” you start to diminish setbacks and begin to insert ideas about how you are undermining your time each day. This requires a commitment to inviting peace into your life.  

Eckhart Tolle, the author of Stillness Speaks, says we have created in our society a role at work called “nervous mind energy.” You’ve seen the way people gather (late) for the “critical” staff meeting: Everyone is hyper with jerky eye movements as if this is a key intrusion in their lives because they’re so busy. The next time you attend a meeting, suggest everyone stop for three minutes and compose their energy. You will notice a shift in the mood as the people become focused and centered; a different appreciation for listening will manifest and authenticity will start to lead the meeting.  

No one sums this thought up better than the author of Peace Is Every Step, Vietnamese Buddhist monk, Thich That Hanh: “When I allow my thoughts to be inspired before I speak, I give myself the opportunity to use words that uplift, encourage, and heal. I take a moment to become still within and think on divinely inspired thoughts before I speak and act. In so doing, I will not cause to regret my words and actions.” It takes courage to shift your perception about the use of time.   

Courageously yours,

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

Maybe it’s time to be the real you. No one ever went to their grave joyfully embracing all their accumulative regrets! Be courageous! Give yourself permission to be BIG.

Why is it so hard to be all that we can be? We rarely seem to remember those moments when we were “BIG”—not arrogant, but full of “true self”—when inner purpose aligned with outer purpose. Recently, I had an email from a woman that read: “I just landed a great job! For the first time in my working life, I negotiated my salary to my satisfaction. I didn’t give my talents away for fear of not being hired. At 48 years-old, I feel proud that I gave myself permission to be me. Why did it take me so long to become aware of my self-esteem? Why did I feel the need to diminish my spirit?”  

Guess what? She’s not the only person slow to awaken their self-esteem. I always ask clients: “Have you given yourself permission to be as big, as powerful and as passionate as you really are?” I’m not talking about your girth I’m talking about your mirth. I’m talking about your passion and depth of essence. Or are you stuck in conditioned responses, such as “uncertainty paralyzes me” or “I’m too old to make changes?” Are these the labels you’ve fastened on your life’s journey? If so, this is the opposite of courage.   

Many of my readers, corporate/association clients or coaching clients tell me that I have given them “permission to be themselves.” I haven’t really. What I have done is guide them to see that their courageous self, the one who perceives deeply; yet, hides it for fear of being judged or demeaned. From that real self perspective, new insights about their inner passion and hidden wishes comes forth. This newfound courage and sense of freedom merges body, mind and spirit. 

In many cases, the inner power of the person is different from the power of the visual persona we show the world. I don’t know where or when we were told that being who we are is in some way inappropriate or inadequate, but people don’t want an artifice. Most people say they prefer truth and authenticity. Have you noticed in the media when someone is blatantly honest people are shocked whereas corruption, cheating or lying is accepted as an everyday happenstance? Here are a few questions for you:

1. Is there any difference between the ways you joke around and play in your kitchen with close friends than the way you are with your colleagues?
2. Do you lose your sense of spontaneity and voice when you “step up” to reveal an opinion in a staff meeting?

I certainly have, and if you do, I would request you begin the process of bringing your true self and your courage (from the origin of the word meaning, “heart and spirit”) closer together. Give yourself permission to be yourself such as speaking up about something you have been unwilling to say. Ask yourself:

• “What courageous conversation did I put off in 2008 that needs to be addressed?”
• “What am I doing what I absolutely dislike? Why am I procrastinating?”

Maybe it’s time to be the real you. No one ever went to their grave joyfully embracing all their accumulative regrets! Be courageous! Give yourself permission to be BIG, and take the next step. 

Moral of the story from an Ancient Chinese Proverb: “He who hesitates before each step spends his life on one leg.” 

Courageously yours,

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved