I am so blessed.

No really, I am.

I know those are words that we don't hear everyday, but just maybe we should.

Let me explain.

I just spent an hour at one of the best cancer treatment hospitals in the world - The Princess Margaet Hospital here in Toronto, Canada.

I am fine - I was scheduled for a routine CAT scan - as part of a series of medical tests I am going through to participate in an exercise study for people living with insulin dependent diabetes.

I walked into, and out, of the hospital free of any worry about living.

I was one of the lucky ones.

Thousands of people walk through those doors everyday, uncertain about if they will be with us this time next year.

We can talk about living life to the fullest, enjoying everyday, but when you are sitting in a hallway in the hospital (trying to keep your hospital gown closed), sitting with real people, that are not sure what this machine, and the next test ,will tell them about their future, it really hits home.

It makes you think.

What about this gentlemen on the gurney waiting, alone, in the hall? What's his story? Is he a Grandfather, brother, volunteer, someone's best friend? What is he feeeling right now?

Or, the women sitting beside me.  Is she a mom,  a grandmother?  She looks scared.

I want to do something, but I am frozen.  What could I possibly say to make things alright?

I feel guilty that I am even in their presence; after all I'm just taking part in a diabetes study.

My CAT scan went well and I got dressed and left the hospital  with a renewed appreciation of life and feeling truly blessed for the life that I live.

The air outside the hospital felt fresh, alive, and I promise you I will throughly enjoy the sun rising up tomorrow morning!

Greetings from the 2010 Winter Olympics in Beautiful Vancouver.

The energy in the city is unbelievable, walking the streets and seeing the flags and colors of many countries around the world, is something I will never forget.

It's an interesting combination of celebrating your pride in your own country, while at the same time celebrating and experiencing the pride and colors of other countries.  (Soccer could learn a lesson or two from the Olympics).

We decided to watch the Women's Gold Medal Hockey game between Canada and the United States in a packed local sports bar.  Being in Vancouver, the bar was filled with Canadian flags and a sea of red.  However, there were also a number of American fans supporting their team.

The incredible thing was how everyone celebrated the game and enjoyed the atmosphere (Ok, Canadians might have enjoyed it a little more with a 2-0 victory).

My sister in law and I met a nice New Yorker, and watched the game with her with nothing more than a little friendly teasing. We actually invited our new friend to 'hang with us, and we enjoyed dinner together and a fantastic evening.  So much so, that I will be meeting her again in New York in two weeks.

It was a great evening and, on a small scale, showed how great it is when we put our "flags" down and made a great, real connection.

Looking forward to taking in the last few days here and going to the Gold Medal hockey game.  Here's to keeping the Olympic spirit alive well after the games have ended.

In my last blog I outlined 3 lessons I learned from my experience with a presentation to a women’s group.  In particular, I mentioned a participant whose words struck a chord with me.  Well, it turns out that it struck deeper than I had originally thought.

Her comments began, for me, a journey on the differences between men and women.  It’s been brought to my attention, on more than one occasion, how my ability to appeal to both men and women is a rare gift.  Thanks for the compliment, but I don’t know if I’d go that far!

Another observer once told me how particularly refreshing it was to hear a man talk about his feelings and emotions while sharing his experiences.  Now, I hope this doesn’t spread took quickly amongst my beer-league-hockey mates…I might get a little more attention (read: bodychecks) on ice than I’d like.

In all seriousness, I’ve questioned: why is it that most women can so easily share how a situation makes them feel?  Put another way: why don’t most men share their feelings?

I’m not looking for an anthropological-cited-from-psychological-journals type of answer.  I don’t really believe that a pin point answer can ever be determined.  Finding the answer to how or why there are differences between the sexes has been a centuries old question.  What I am discovering is that in spite of the differences in this area, there is one similarity, WE are all vulnerable.

It seems that women are more comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities, what it is they fear, what it is they hope for, aspire to, and dream of.  I am amazed at the number of times women have come up to me after a presentation to share how this presentation – my presentation - made them feel.  I can’t help but feel that on some level, I shouldn’t know such seemingly personal aspects of people I barely know.  I understand now, that these interactions are a privilege. 

Likewise, the dudes that come up to me after one of my presentations are usually doing so to fact check (“what was the name of that book?”) or they just want to give me an “atta-boy” slap on the back.  Occasionally, I have had the rare male tell me that what I just said made him think.  That’s as close as it gets to sharing feelings.

Not once in all the years of playing hockey or baseball, have I ever sat with my friends on the team to share how a really hard day at work made us feel.  Sure, we’ve talked about our fears and our hopes, but never so bluntly.  Usually it is hidden within sarcasm, joking and some profanity.  We all know why we do this: it’s a self-preservation-deflection thing.  It’s how we cope with feelings and emotions.

So, while men and women are different in how we express ourselves, we all share the experience of being vulnerable.

A big thank you to all the women who have taught me that it is alright to admit that we are ALL vulnerable at times, in fact this “admission” helps to serve us greatly in achieving our goals and dreams.

Shawn Shepheard has worked extensively in the career development field, including recruitment, customer service, career management and leadership training. He is also a celebrated inspirational speaker and was named the 2008 Volunteer of the year from the Canadian Diabetes Association

A couple of weeks ago I was doing a presentation called "It's Your Choice" for a group who are in career transition. The audience had a wide range of experience and skills, from executives to entry level, social workers to sales people, and everything in between. Uniquely, they all had two things in common: they are all female and they are all in career transition.

My presentation was part of an excellent program called “Focus”; it is designed to help women work not only on career planning, but on getting to know themselves a little better and on pursuing their dream careers.  At the end of the program, they hosted a networking event and, this time, invited me to be the guest speaker.

The key message of my presentation pertains to increasing our awareness of how choice / decision making is so ingrained in our lives and how, each day, we are also making and reaffirming the bigger choices in life, such as our belief systems, our thoughts, and attitudes that tint our experiences.

My 90-minute session went very well. There was a great discussion about how much power each person had in that room in determining their outcome, their dreams, and making it happen. Overall, it was a great event; we had a lot of fun and learned a lot.

At the end of the session a number participants came up to say a few words about the presentation as they generally do after any session.  One woman approached me and started by saying that when she walked in and saw that there was a male delivering the session, her first thought was just to turn around and walk away. But she chose (interestingly, since after all making choices was the subject of the presentation) to hear me out for 5 minutes and make a decision based on that.

Frankly, her comment caught me a bit off guard. Then she followed it up by saying, "but I knew right away when you started to speak and to share some of your personal stories that this was the place to be."  In the end she wanted to thank me because she thought the presentation was exceptional and that she had learned a lot, so she was very happy that she had stayed.

The first part of her comment had really struck a chord with me.  It wasn’t because I felt offended or defensive, but truly because it was a comment that I had never received before.  My “maleness” wasn’t something that I ever thought had any impact on my presentations before. I continued to think about what she had said, to the point that I searched for more input from the important females in my life, like my wife and a few close friends.

My three big lessons from that experience were:

1) Listen first. Don't judge.  Specifically, I'm referring to myself and reminding myself not to judge and say "that's crazy thinking!" Just listen first and not judge--because there are probably many good reasons why she felt that way.  If we are judging what a person is saying to us while they are saying it; are we really listening at all?

2)  We all have unique challenges. Professional women have a series of unique challenges that I might never understand because I haven't gone through those challenges myself.  One of my unique challenges is living with diabetes.  The disease itself is not unique, but, it is how I have learned NOT to make it an obstacle in my life by learning from others, which in turn allowed me to live well with diabetes.  So, it is not a matter of the challenges we have, but how do we choose to look at those challenges and who in our support network may be a source of aid for us.  Which leads us to the next lesson I learned.

3)  The power of a community coming together as a team. These women came together and shared their unique experiences over those two weeks and continued to share them during my presentation in a way that is essentially no different from the way other communities work. Whether they are business communities or sports communities (I play a lot of sports, like hockey), they all illustrate how we can learn from each other through a community or team approach.

While at first her comment caught me off guard, I really want to thank the woman who came up to me with that comment, because it helped me articulate my thoughts and the lessons I learned.

We all know people that are very resistant to change. For some, everyday is like the movie "Groudhog Day", it's the same day that just keeps repeating itself.

Don't get me wrong, having some routine can definately serve you, but when that "routine" gets in the way of your happiness....it's time to change.

A few years ago I received a desperate phone call from a former boss.  She told me that her staff were at an all time low in morale and productivitity, and she didn't know what to do.  She thought that I could help.

A week later I found myself in a room with all her staff, about 30 in total.  Many of the staff had worked there for a least 10 years and I had worked with most of them when I had worked there.

After listening to them complain for the better part of an hour (they were experts in complaining), I started to address some of the concerns and offer some alternative solutions.

That's when one person, that I knew quite well, stood up and said: "Who do you think you are coming in here and trying to change things?"

Interesting.

They just complained about how miserable everything was, but they were not open to changing anything.

The complaints they had were the same that I had heard 5 years ago! You can likely guess the "warm" reception I received when I asked them, what they had done to change the situation, and if they thought that they might have played a part in the problems.

That's when I came up with the term "Comfortable Misery", you are miserable, but comfortable, so don't try and change me!

If you, are someone you know suffers from "Comfortable Misery", here are 3 things to do to get you going in the direction of happiness:

1) Challenge Your Beliefs - Beliefs are simply thoughts that we keep thinking.  Do your beliefs serve you?  Some of the beliefs I have heard from people living with "Comortable Misery" are:

• Work is not to be enjoyed
• Bosses are all (fill in the blanks)
• I will never get ahead
• People are selfish

Take 2 minutes and list as many of the beliefs that you have that don't serve you.

For each one find at least 3 examples to challenge that belief.

2) Spend time with different people - If you hang out with the "Everything is Awful" crowd, get away from them as fast as you can!  The negative energy is contagious. 

There is a saying that you are the average for the five people you spend the most time with, choose wisely who you spend time with.

Volunteer with a local charity, join a book club, a running group, there are positive people everyhere, you just have to find them.

3) Take Time Daily to Thank - A great way to "shift" your energy is to take 5 minutes every morning to list all the things in your life that you are grateful for.  Things like health, shelter, food, family, friends, employment.......and spend the day looking for all that is right with the world.

If you commit to these 3 simple steps you can say good bye to "comfortable misery" forever!

Read more about Shawn at www.shawnshepheard.com

During my travels to New York City the last two years, I have been fortunate to meet many interesting people, who have become great friends.

One of those people is the Chef Miguel.

Miguel has a wealth of international culinary experience, and is currently running a very successful catering business.

So what can someone like me, with very little culinary skills, learn from Miguel?

Lots.

Here are 3 of the biggest lessons I have learned from Chef Miguel:

1)  Passion and  postive enegy is everything -    When creating excellent dishes it is critically important that you are passionate and fully present in what you are creating.  The energy you bring to the process will show in the end result.  To have outstanding results you must bring positive energy to the creation process.

"Every job is a self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence"

2) Always be Learning - The only way to continue to improve is to be open to learning new ways of doing things everyday.  Miguel is both a master in the kitchen but equally important, a student; he never stops listening and learning from others.

3) Be Confident in Yourself - One of the biggest things that I noticed when first going to New York, was how often people walked against the little "stop" hand when crossing the road.  Nothing wrong with it; it's just a "New York" thing.  I still find myself "hugging" the curb waiting for that little "walk" sign to give me permission to cross the road.

To say I have been teased a little about this is a major understatement.

When I asked Miguel, how he just does it, his response: "You have to own the road".

Interesting, and I got the message.

Just yesterday I had a major presentation to make and I thought of Miguel's words as I walked in confidently and "owned" the room.  The ironic thing is that I have this confidence in most areas of my life, especially when I am presenting, but somehow Miguel's words struck a cord with me.

Thanks Miguel for the great advice.

Sincerely,

Your Canadian Curb Hugging Friend

Sometimes the best advice we receive is simple, and easy to remember.

A few weeks ago I watched the ESPY awards on ESPN.  The annual awards show celebrates the great moments in sports in the past year.  Needless to say Michael Phelps was the big winner of the evening.

My favorite moment came late in the show when Don Meyer, a coach from a small school in South Dakota, was awarded the Jimmy V Award.  The award is presented to someone who overcomes challenges, and in the process inspires many. 

Don Meyer's story definately meets that criteria. Hear about his story and watch his speech.

In his acceptance speech, Don talked about a conversation he had the previous day with legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden.  Mr. Wooden took out a card from his wallet, that his father had given to him when he graduated from grade school, on it are the words:

"Don't whine, complain, or make excuses"

Simple and profound.

Since then, I've posted those words right beside my computer in my office, and have shared them with a few close friends.  I have asked a few friends to hold me accountable to those words and to please let me know when I complain, whine or make excuses.

Although I thought of myself as being a very positive person, I was surprised by how many "little" things I complained about or how many excuses I made daily.  It was a great reminder that each of us is 100% accountable for our actions and results.

Thank you Don and John, for the reminder.

Listed below are a few easy ways to keep this message alive daily:

1) Post these words where you will see them daily, beside your computer, on a card in your wallet, by the door in your house, etc...

2) Wear an elastic band on your wrist and snap yourself every time you complain, whine or make excuses.

3) Enlist your friends to hold you accountable, or to hold each other accountable.  Make a game of it and deposit one dollar in a jar everytime you complain or make excuses.

We make decisions everyday about how we choose to live our life.  Sometimes, we need to take a step back and take a closer look at the choices we make on a daily basis.

Granted, sometimes things happen to us, that we would not choose, I didn't choose to have diabetes, but I do choose how I live with diabetes.

I've listed below 4 Choices that I make everyday to lead a healthier, happy life:

1) Feed and Protect Your Mind Daily

I am very careful what I allow into my mind everyday.  One of the things that I have gotten into the habit of doing is: limiting the amount of time I watch the news, or reading the newspaper. I used to read 3 newspapers daily, and I always watched the 11 o'clock news before going to bed.

Not any more.

Everyday there are incredible, positive things happening all around us, unfortunately they don't make the front page of the newspaper, or the lead story on the news.

Protect and feed your mind daily by: reading a great book, listening to your favorite music, talking to a friend, or going for a walk.

The choice is yours, what you focus on does indeed expand.

2) Make Healthy Food Choices

I admit that before I was diagnosed with living with insulin dependent diabetes, I didn't always make good food choices.  Now it's a priority.

The great thing is it is easy to do, but does take some planning.

Now I make sure to drink at least 6 glasses of water a day, eat my fruits and veggies, and limit the amount of caffeine I consume a day.

3) Exercise Daily

That doesn't mean that you have to go out and join a gym, but rather make it a habit to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.  I've spent a fair amount of time in New York City this year, and one thing New Yorkers do alot of is - walking.

If you have a busy schedule, get up a half hour earlier and get your 30 minutes in before the day starts.  You will feel better, have more energy, and I've found that my best ideas come to me while I'm exercising (so much so that I carry a pen and a notepad in my workout bag).

4) Spend time in Silence

People that know me well, find it hard to believe that I spend time silent everyday, but I do. 

How you spend that time is entirely up to you.  Some people people meditate, do yoga, dream, write in a gratitude journal, the choice is yours.

Shawn Shepheard Speeches & Training Shawn Shepheard has worked extensively in the career development field, including recruitment, customer service, career management and leadership training. He is also a celebrated inspirational speaker and was named the 2008 Volunteer of the year from the Canadian Diabetes Association. 

I played my first round of golf of the season yesterday.

I know it's July, but for one reason or another I haven't been out to play a round this year.

Although my game was a little less than perfect, I had a fantastic day on the course.  I've always thought that the game of golf can teach us many life lessons.  I've listed a few of them below:

1) Practice Makes Us Better

Golf is no different than most things in life, the more you practice, the better you get, period.  You wouldn't dream of delivering a big presentation without reviewing the material and practicing beforehand, same holds true for golf.

2) You Are 100% Accountable For Your Results

You can learn alot from listening to the people you play golf with. After a bad shot ,do they blame themselves, the wind, the club, the weather (insert your own excuse)?

Get into the habit of taking 100% responsibility for the results in your life, and not making excuses.

3) You Perform Best When You Are Relaxed

Remember your best round of golf this year?  I bet you were totally "in the zone" and relaxed. It's no wonder that the guy who rushes from his car to the first tee, checks his messages between shots, is not going to have a good game.

4) Know Where You Want to Go

The best golf advice I ever received was short and simple, pick and spot where you want your ball to land before you swing, and focus on that spot.  It's sounds obvious, but often people just go and swing the club without deciding first where they want the ball to go.

The same thing holds true in life, as Stephen Covey, the author of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" says, "Begin with the end in mind".

5) Let It Go

In every round we are going to make some less than perfect shots, the key is to let it go and forgot about it quickly.  The option is to keep that bad shot, and the feelings of frustration with us, and guess what, it will only lead to more frustration and poor shots.

Same holds true in life, learn from your mistakes, and move on.

Can't wait to get back on the course really soon!

I just returned from a fabulous week in New York City.

I've been fortunate enough to meet some fantastic people there during the past few years that have turned into lifelong friends.

Like the t-shirt says "I LOVE New York"

The stereotype of what New Yorkers are "really" like is simply not true.  There are many great people and neighborhoods in New York; I strongly believe you will always find people that reflect the energy you are giving off.

Although I had been warned by many (some who have never even been to NYC), to stay away from Brooklyn, I decided to give it a try.

I am ever glad that I did.

I stayed in the beautiful area of Williamsburg, an area where people talk to each other on the street, and yes even....smile. For the most part, it is filled with many privately owned coffee shops, restaurants, drug stores, and unique shops.

In a word it is a "real" community, with "real, genuine" people (aka.. leave the attitude when you cross the Williamsburg Bridge).

On Wednesday morning I awoke, after spending a fantastic full day with a great friend, and decided to take a stroll in search of my morning coffee.

I found a bagel place that was bursting with energy and decided to give it a try.

Up on the wall behind the counter was a big sign that read "Welcome to Brooklyn".

"Welcome"......hmm...that's a word I don't hear that often.

I stepped inside to watch a well choreographed "dance" of customers ordering, orders being called out, and people shuffling.  I was a little scared to "interrupt" this dance, as I didn't know any of the "moves".

Picture, the scene from the "Soup Nazi" episode from Seinfeld, only much friendlier.  I thought if I screwed up someone would call out, "NO Bagel for YOU!"

That's when "she" appeared.

The lady behind me picked up on my confused look and offered to help.  She explained the "dance" to me: pick your bagel; order what you want on it; shuffle to the left; order your coffee; pay and wait for your order to be called out.

I thanked her for her kindness for saving me, and she smiled back and said, "Welcome to Brooklyn" just like the words on the sign.

After completing the "dance" I found a place to sit down, enjoy my breakfast and dove right into the newspaper.  Moments later, my "friend" tapped me on the shoulder to say goodbye and wished me a great day, and off she went.

Well, five days and five hundred miles later I'm back home, thinking about how this "stranger" totally made my day, not to mention that I've already told this story a few times.

To my "friend" in Brooklyn, thanks for reminding me about the the "Golden Rule" of treating others the way you would like to be treated.

And yes, I will be staying in Brooklyn on my next trip to the Big Apple.