Stuart Gelles is a co-founder of Success Television. He has spent over 20 years coaching teams and individuals in managing change, effective leadership, team building, innovation and achieving balance in order to lead a more fulfilling and successful life.Stuart's particular expertise is in helping manage change during these unprecedented social and economic times.
Do you ever get frustrated when you want to get a colleague or spouse to see your point of view or do something you want? You have a great idea, but they immediately go to, “how’s it going to get done?” Or, you have a supervisor that is very slow in moving his boss for approval to move your project along? Do you sometimes go to that place of, “they just don’t get it?”
Before you get a headache or, worst, give up, there’s a solution. First, you have to understand there are three broad categories of people who predominantly operate from the emotional, physical or spiritual. Understanding where you fit in these descriptions and where the important people in your life fit, will help you in how you approach them.
Do-ers - Physical
The" Do-er," always ready for action, analyzes, moves forward and then commits to the determined outcome and results--protecting and in control of their chosen process. They are all about getting a task done—doing!
If they’re at a company, and the more creative type comes up with an idea, they immediately go to, “How do we get this done? Is this practical? What will be the outcome?” A spouse who is a do-er with small children might not beam at the creative suggestion of, “Honey, let’s take a trip to Hawaii next month.” The first thought that comes across her/his mind is, “Can we afford this? Will there be activities for the kids?”
Dream-ers - Spiritual
The "Dream-er," by nature of his/her inquisitive spirit, is in search of inspiration and what inspires it. The journey is the destination and the energy of creativity and vision the fuel used along the way. If a dreamer starts to come up with that next creative advertising plan and a do-er says, “Yeah, but how are we going to do that with this limited budget?” Poof! The creative bubble pops and the ideas dry up . Worst, ask a dreamer for a detailed written plan to make something happen—torture. Make it a creative, fun process where the dream-er gets to figure it out his/ her way and knows the end result- Magic!
Be-er - Emotional
The 'Be-er" chooses to rely on his/her feelings to evaluate life's moments. Depth of relationships and feelings of positive connection are what pull the heart strings here. So, the absence of a human connection or negativity would cause much upset here. Needless to say, these are the people who will talk about their families and who are the care-takers concerned about our well-being. Stomp on that; you won’t get anything out of them.
Fundamentally, in which one of these 'houses' do you live in? Where do you see people in your life? Who are the examples of Be-ers, Do-ers and Dream-ers in your life? How are you connecting with them?
The real value of this model comes not only from the insights but also from your awareness and ability to elevate and gain perspective. I call it the “third dimension”…living life in 3-D.