In this series of posts, we’ve been exploring ways to seize the opportunity that the economic crisis presents to overshoppers. Even before the downturn, of course, most compulsive buyers found themselves in a financial squeeze. But the new economic realities—the slashed value of retirement accounts, the credit crunch, the mortgage debacle, and the widespread loss of jobs and massive uncertainty about continuing employment— have forced even the most ostrich-like overshoppers into a reality check.

When they examine their habit with a clear mind and a compassionate heart, nearly all overshoppers acknowledge that the pull of shopping rises from somewhere underneath the things they buy. Shopping is for them a release, a drug that for a while—a little while—blunts the pain of unmet needs. Then the pain is back, it is worsened by the guilt and shame and secrecy that each new purchase adds.

Self-kindness offers a happy exit from this cycle. Finding healthy activities to fulfill your underlying needs releases you from having to bury those needs with overshopping and gains you access to “true wealth,” those nonfinancial assets, different for everybody, that make life worth living. We’ve already sampled such activities for four kinds of needs: for Action, Spontaneity, Relaxation, and Sensual Joy. Today, we look at two more: Emotion and Intellect.

Emotion:  Emotions, both positive and negative, charge and direct a lot of overshopping. When we feel nostalgic, when we don’t feel connected, when joy is absent, when we feel like celebrating—in these and a great many other emotional situations, we may feel driven to shop. Instead of shopping in response to your emotions, practice targeted self-kindness: find alternative activities that meet the emotional needs beyond your overshopping impulses. What emotionally satisfying alternatives to shopping might work for you? As always, try any of these that appeal and invent half a dozen others that might work for you.

•    See a deeply human, moving film, an old classic perhaps.
•    Spend time with a favorite animal.
•    Volunteer to help someone who really needs your help.
•    Attend an event or a performance that promises to be joyful.
•    Learn by heart—and recite—a favorite poem.

Intellect:  While you may not think of shopping as an intellectual pursuit, the puzzle-solving aspect of shopping motivates and energizes some people. It’s an active pleasure for them to sort through an infinite number of choices, factoring in variables such as style, value, and utility, zeroing in on what says, “This is me.” But there are so many other ways to experience cerebral delight, so many other puzzles to solve! What nonshopping joys of the mind can you suggest for yourself?

•    Use the internet to improve yours skills in chess or Scrabble.
•    Take a leadership role in an organization or a club in which you belong.
•    Read a challenging book and talk about it with someone.
•    Take lessons and learn a new language.
•    Learn to knit, draw, or meditate.
•    Write anything from a diary to a Wikipedia entry.

Next time, we’ll conclude personalizing the landscape of self-kindness with two further categories: Discovery and Spirit.

In this series of postings, we’ve been coloring the landscape of self-kindness, examining healthier alternatives to shopping. The catalyst for this is the current economic downturn and the way its dramatic ratcheting up of financial pressure is forcing overshoppers to, well, take stock of their habit. When they look beneath the surface at what the appeal of shopping is really about for them, they find unmet personal needs.

Finding creative ways to meet those needs is what self-kindness is all about. Invent or pursue positive activities that satisfy your needs, and the pull of addictive habit drops sharply. But just what are such activities?

So far, we’ve looked at examples for four categories of needs: Action, Spontaneity, Relaxation, and, in part, Sensual Joy. Today, we finish looking at the Sensual Joy, with examples for Sight and Hearing. As always, try anything from the list that appeals to you, and create half a dozen other examples for yourself. Then, when the urge strikes, choose one of these happier alternatives instead.

Sight—Color, Pattern, and Beauty:  Do you love color? Do you buy too many beautiful things or spend more than you can afford on things so exquisite they take your breath away? If you deeply appreciate well-made, high-quality objects, stopping overshopping doesn’t have to mean depriving yourself. Congratulate yourself on your capacity for aesthetic appreciation—and now, how might you discover or experience visual delight without buying?

• Paint—watercolors, oils, or bathroom walls—for yourself or maybe for someone you love.
• Take digital photos of objects you admire and share them.
• Look at art forms, in a museum or a book or outdoors.
• Visit beautiful places; take house and garden tours.
• Behold nature, whether tree or forest, flower or bouquet.
• Take a course at a local botanical garden.

Hearing—Sound and Music:  Do you groove on the music piped into your favorite stores? Do you love eavesdropping on other shoppers at the mall? Do you love the noise of the city street when you’re out window-shopping? What other sounds could fill your ears and lift your soul?

• Sit outside in springtime and listen to the birds.
• Listen to a free public lecture.
• Volunteer to usher for a benefit performance.
• Sip something at an outdoor café and listen to the street sounds.
• Sing a song from your childhood.
• Play, really play, a musical instrument.
• Go to a pond at night and listen to the frogs and crickets.

We’ll finish personalizing the landscape of self-kindness with the next two postings, the first on Emotion and Intellect, the second on Discovery and Spirit.