Research by psychologist K. Anders Erikson has shown that it requires approximately 10,000 hours of intentional practice, with coaching, to become an expert. Ten thousand hours is roughly equivalent to ten years of putting in 20 hours of practice a week. The importance of perseverance and practice is obvious.

Every bit as essential to becoming great, yet less obvious, is the importance of the character strengths of humility and love. Humility encourages you to seek and truly accept coaching, and love is what allows you to give and receive the relational support of others needed to persevere through the inevitable ups and downs of life.

Years ago I met and spoke with Andre Agassi when he was playing a tennis tournament in Burbank, California. This was during a period when Agassi had fallen from being one of the top players in the world to being so lowly ranked that it was difficult for him to get into major tournaments. Andre had the skills but just wasn’t playing anywhere near the top of his game. The Burbank tournament was the turning point. Agassi won the tournament and went on to return to the ranks of the top tennis players in the world. What happened?

Agassi attributed his turnaround to the guidance, support, encouragement and love he received from his wife (tennis great Steffi Graf), his coach, and other family members and friends. Before that time, Agassi had isolated himself. He was trying to self-help his way back to greatness. It is likely that he had grown lonely. When Andre humbled himself to accept coaching and connect relationally with a group of individuals whom he loved and who loved him, that’s when the magic happened.

I remember seeing Agassi walk around at the tournament and talk to people. There were several policemen there and I recall observing him chatting with each of them. When fans wanted an autograph, he patiently waited and signed each program or tennis ball. Andre was humble and more grounded than I had expected.

I believe that one key to Agassi’s comeback is that he had developed greater heart. The French word for heart is coeur, which is the root of the word courage. By admitting he could not come back on his own and reaching out for the help of others, Andre showed courage.  The word encourage means to give some of one’s heart to another. Along with the advice of his coach, Andre’s loving family and friends gave of their hearts and encouraged him.

A formulaic phrase I use when working with organizations that want to thrive is this: task excellence + relationship excellence = sustainable superior performance. Time and again I’ve witnessed that it can’t only be about the product; people, and specifically connection among the people, is equally critical. I see it here too. Years of time on the tennis court plus the connection Agassi developed with his relational support system was the key to his rising to once again be among the top-ranked tennis players in the world.

This message -- the need for love and encouragement, and for humility to accept advice from a coach or mentor -- is especially relevant now when research has shown that many individuals feel left out and have isolated themselves relationally. Research shows that people are more narcissistic and more people live alone today than at any time in U.S. history. A quarter of Americans report they have not had a conversation with a close friend over the last six months. They are struggling, like Andre did, and they desperately need our help to develop the courage, the heart, to take the risk of reaching out to connect with family and friends. We need to encourage them, to share our hearts with them, so that they can find the heart to reconnect. If a friend or family member has come to mind, I hope you will reach out and encourage him by sharing your heart.

In summary, if you want to be great at something, recognize that it will take years of persistent practice, develop the humility to learn from a coach who will help you see what you can’t such as your blind spots and advice on how to improve, and develop the courage to love family and friends. Your love will nourish them with emotional support and encouragement just as their love and encouragement will nourish you. Encouraged and loved, you’ll find you can persevere through the peaks and valleys you’ll encounter along the way.

It’s surprising, isn’t it, that developing one’s heart is an essential but rarely mentioned element to achieve lasting greatness. Like Andre Agassi, you may be great for a season, but it is utterly unsustainable unless you develop the “heart of a champion.”

Michael Lee Stallard speaks, teaches workshops and writes about leadership, employee engagement, productivity and innovation.  He is the primary author of the bestselling book Fired Up or Burned Out: How to Reignite Your Team's Passion Creativity and Productivity.  Learn more about Michael's company, E Pluribus Partners, and his blog MichaelLeeStallard.com.

What Schultz didn’t do, says a lot about his character.  He didn’t immediately call Starbucks’ public relations people or lawyers.  Instead, Schultz headed to Washington, D.C.  When he arrived, he spoke with the police then proceeded to the store to get the addresses of the three murdered Starbucks employees. He went to each of their homes, told their families he was sorry and shared in their tears.

Howard Schultz’s empathy and compassion spoke loudly to Howard Behar, a leader who has a huge heart. Behar left his former employer and joined Starbucks in part because the previous CEO he worked for advised him he “shouldn’t wear his heart on his sleeve.”   Schultz was the type of leader Behar wanted to work for, a leader he could respect and admire because of his courageous and compassionate heart,  a leader he wanted to give his best efforts to serve.

Howard Schultz’s heart was broken.   He showed courage by expressing the grief he felt. Doing so contributed to helping the victims’ families, friends and colleagues. As awful as grieving the loss of a loved one or friend is, it's far worse to grieve alone. Howard Behar became part of the group of three leaders at the top of Starbucks who were referred to as “H²0” (i.e. Howard Schultz, Howard Behar and Orin Smith). 

Behar had an enormous impact on Starbucks North America as its president then went on to become the first president of Starbucks International where he led it to spectacular growth.  After Behar retired, he continued to serve on Starbucks’ board of directors.  Behar was loved and respected throughout Starbucks for his heart and passion as well as his work ethic, openmindedness and judgment about the retail business.  He became a Starbucks' employee for the rest of his career, in no small part because his boss, Howard Schultz, had a heart.

One of the great privileges of my work is that I get to meet, observe and know leaders at a wide variety of organizations including businesses, government organizations, churches, universities and hospitals.  I’ve met quite a few who exercise frequently to keep their hearts and bodies fit for the long hours and no small number of them are also motivated by the desire to impress others with their physical presence, energy and competitiveness.  

Regular physical exercise is certainly of value.  What many leaders miss, however, is the need to develop their hearts in other ways beyond exercise that are even more important:  ways that produce the character strengths of love, kindness, compassion, gentleness and empathy.  A leader whose character is missing these strengths may have power over others but will never lead from influence that moves people to give their best efforts and align their behavior with the leader’s goals.  This truth is expressed in sayings such as you have to "earn the right to be heard" and "people don't care what you know until they know that you care."

Research has shown that 75 percent of employees in America today are not engaged at work.  They show up for the paycheck but don’t give their best efforts.  Part of this is because they don’t feel connected to their leaders. From where they sit, their leaders appear heartless and could care less about them.  That’s why cultivating the hearts of leaders is especially important to getting America back on the right track.

To develop heart, we must care about and serve others, including the people we lead: our colleagues at work; our spouses, children and parents; our friends; and the less fortunate in our midst who have nothing to give back to us. Care about and serve the people in your life and in your community, and you will develop the strength of heart that helps you connect.

As you serve, take the time to ask questions of others such as “where did you grow up?,” “how are you doing these days?,”  “what’s going on in your life?,” and “what do you enjoy in life?”  Slow down and listen closely.  Find out about the career aspirations of the people who report to you and help them learn and grow in ways that advance their careers. If you’re a leader, you can develop the heart of the people you lead by scheduling a teambuilding event where together you volunteer to serve at a local charitable organization and take time to connect with the people you meet.

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To learn more about leaders who have developed heart and who inspired the people they led, read the article we wrote for the Leader to Leader Journal , To Boost Performance, Connect with the Core." It's about Bono of the rock band U2 and Admiral Vern Clark, the second-longest serving chief of the United States Navy.    I also recommend Howard Behar's book It's Not About the Coffee and the book Carolyn Dewing-Hommes, Jason Pankau and I wrote on great leaders who connect entitled Fired Up or Burned Out.  In the coming months I'll be speaking and teaching workshops on this topic at the the NASA Johnson Space Center, the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, Scotiabank, TCU, the Young Presidents Organization, and on September 13, I’ll be speaking with Admiral Vern Clark in Washington, D.C. at breakfast and lunch events sponsored by the Wharton Club of D.C.

• In 1940, 7.7 percent of Americans lived in one-person households. By 2000, that number more than tripled to 25.8 percent.  (In Manhattan, 48 percent of all households were one-person households in 2000.)
• Between 1985 and 2004, the number of people with whom the average American discussed "important matters" dropped from three to two. During that same time period the percentage of people who had no one with whom they discussed important matters tripled to nearly 25 percent.
• A study by Norman Nie and his Stanford colleagues found that as people spend more time on the internet, they spent less face-to-face time with other human beings. (Who's not spending more time on the internet these days?)

These facts all point to the conclusion that loneliness is on the rise in America. As we pointed out in our book Fired Up or Burned Out and in The Connection Culture: A New Source of Competitive Advantage, people need human connection to thrive.  We are human beings, not machines.  When we don't experience sufficient human connection, we dysfunction. This may include experiencing feelings of emptiness, boredom and depression.  It may lead some to engage in substance abuse to numb the pain.  Others may pursue illegitimate thrills to feel alive again and in doing so develop addictions to pornography, sexual encounters with prostitutes and one night stands, or taking excessive business risks.  These paths never end well for the individual, their families and friends, or for their organizations.  

To combat the pervasive loneliness that's damaging American society and organizations, leaders need to create Connection Cultures that unite people and develop "relationship excellence" that supplements efforts to develop "task excellence" in organizations.

There are three general types of cultures in organizations when it comes to relationships and connection:

1. The worst is the "toxic culture" were people with power, control and influence dominate others. This is a dog-eat-dog culture.  
2. The second type of culture is a "culture of indifference."  In these cultures people are so focused on tasks they fail to take time to connect. Because the culture of indifference doesn't meet universal human needs for respect, recognition, belonging, autonomy, personal growth and meaning, it gradually drains the life out of people.
3. "Connection Culture". If the worst culture is a dog-eat-dog culture, then the best culture is similar to a sled dog team that pulls together.  This describes a "Connection Culture" where people feel connected to their organization's identity (mission, values, reputation), to the people they work alongside (especially their supervisor), their work tasks (because they experience "flow"), and to the organization's decisions (because they are kept in the loop on matters that are important to them and their opinions and ideas are considered when and where possible).

Which of the three cultures do you work in?  If you're not working in a connection culture, what are you going to do about it?  You can make a difference if you (1) educate yourself to advocate for developing a Connection Culture,  (2) walk the talk and (3) develop the courage of your convictions to influence others.

Let me encourage you to begin by reading two free resources.  The first is the changethis.com manifesto entitled The Connection Culture: A New Source of Competitive Advantage. The second free resource is the Leader to Leader Journal article entitled "To Boost Productivity, Connect with the Core" (it has great stories about Admiral Vern Clark, chief of the U.S. Navy, and Bono of the rock band U2).  After you've read the articles, I encourage you to sign up for our email newsletter after which you will receive a free digital version of the book that introduced Connection Cultures entitled Fired Up or Burned Out.

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More leaders are discovering the power of Connection Cultures.  Last week I taught a workshop in New York City for the Institute for Management Studies where employees from organizations including New York-Presbyterian Hospital, Medco and the Veterans Administration were present. Next week I'll be teaching about Connection Cultures in a series of Webex presentations for Executive Development Partners and its client the McKesson Corporation.  M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, one of the leading cancer centers in the world, just hired us to speak about Connection Cultures later this summer after a group of doctors read Fired Up or Burned Out and "loved it." We also just announced that on July 29, I'll be speaking with CNO Admiral Vern Clark at breakfast and lunch meetings sponsored by Harvard and Wharton Business School Clubs of DC.

(Note: the facts cited at the beginning of this post were sourced from The Lonely American.)

My mind must have been on something else as I began to edge out a bit from a side street to make a left-hand turn onto a main thoroughfare.  At the same time, another driver was turning left onto the street I was on. I slammed on my brakes in time. Admittedly, the near miss was my fault and the driver I almost pulled in front of had every right to be upset.  What surprised me, however, was the intensity of his reaction.  He came unglued, turned blood red, repeatedly flipped me off and began spewing expletives and spittle.  The rage on his face is burned in my memory.  I kept an eye on him in my rear view mirror to make sure he wasn’t turning around to come after me.  Fortunately he didn’t.

Why are so many people angry these days?

As you might guess, I have a theory about this. Many people have been chasing the proverbial golden ring for much of their adult lives and it’s not worked out as well as they had hoped.  With the economy continuing to struggle, a lot of people are frustrated. The people I know who are struggling the most are those who are working to feed their desire for more money and/or greater status. The purpose of their work is to serve themselves.

On Wall Street where I spent most of my career, most people are there for the money and status. (I was attracted for those reasons too.) They want to make enough money – frequently referred to as their “number” – so they can eventually quit their jobs and say “adios” to their employers.  In recent years, they feel like they’ve been moving further away from their number and this has left them frustrated and exhausted.  Today, more people on Wall Street are giving up on the Street altogether.  Of those who remain, many of them carry around just beneath the surface what Christian minister and author Rob Bell describes as a “low grade boiling rage.”  Although Wall Street is probably the most extreme, this phenomenon extends to other sectors of the American economy.

In contrast to those who work to serve themselves are the people I know who exhibit joy and contentment in their work in part because theyserve a cause greater than themselves.  Their work brings meaning to their lives. My friend Paul Spiegelman is flourishing as the CEO of Beryl Companies, a private company founded by Paul and his two brothers.  Beryl brings goodness into the world by helping hospitals with call center support for doctor referrals and follow-up calls to check on patients who recently underwent treatment.  At Beryl, they know they’re doing important work.  They describe their work as “connecting people to healthcare.” They also derive meaning from a corporate culture that treats employees like family.

My friend Rob Mathes is flourishing in part because he brings truth, beauty and goodness into the world through his music.  Over the last year, Rob composed an amazing orchestral work entitled “At Night a Song Is With Me,” co-produced “Symphonicities” with Sting and produced Matthew Morrison’s new CD (and I’m sure much, much more).

Another friend named Ann is flourishing as she helps bring truth and goodness into to the world through her work as the Chancellor’s Associate for External Relations at a major university. Ann's energy is boundless.  In addition to her job responsibilities, she takes an active interest in students and their families. Ann is also a force to be reckoned with when it comes to raising funds to support breast cancer research.  Sometimes I’ve wondered if there are two Anns, (identical twins perhaps?).

It’s somewhat ironic that another friend of mine named Traci Fenton is flourishing because she channeled her anger in a constructive way. When Traci was an collegiate exchange student in Indonesia during the end of President Suharto’s dictatorship, government spies overheard her conversation with an Indonesian friend in which views were expressed that were at odds with the Suharto government’s oppressive values. As a result, an Indonesian government thug threatened Traci’s friend and warned him to stay away from her “or else.” When her friend called to say he could no longer see her, Traci was outraged and extremely upset.  She knew this was wrong.  Unfortunately, at the time she could do nothing about it.

Years later Traci went to work for a large company only to learn that it had arrogant, authoritarian leaders who viewed employees-at-large as inferiors.  Being treated that way made Traci feel the same sort of anger she felt in Indonesia.  This time she decided she could do something about it.  She quit her job at the company and founded an organization to bring democratic values to the workplace.    She named it WorldBlu (blue is the color of freedom).

Today, Traci is the CEO of WorldBlu.  She serves a cause greater than self and she’s thriving, experiencing joy and contentment in her work despite the difficult economy, unlike many of my friends who toil away to make their number on Wall Street.

Here’s the point: we are human beings, not machines. Sure, we need money for the necessities of life and it’s nice to enjoy some experiences beyond the necessities but we also need work that is meaningful if we are to flourish over the course of our lives.

So how is your internal temperature?  Are you near a boiling point on a regular basis?

Are you flourishing? Are you spending all of your days serving yourself or are you investing your life in a cause greater than self? Is your work bringing truth, beauty and/or goodness into the world?  If not, can you identify ways to bring truth, beauty and/or goodness to your workplace?  If you conclude it isn’t possible, consider finding volunteer work that does or seek another job where you can do work that brings meaning to your life.  If you’re fortunate, you will find work that is so meaningful and brings such a sense of joy and contentment to your life that you never want to retire.  Imagine that!

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Michael Lee Stallard, president of E Pluribus Partners (www.epluribuspartners.com) gives keynote speeches, teaches workshops and consults on leadership, productivity and innovation.  He is the author of the bestselling book Fired Up or Burned Out: How to Reignite Your Team’s Passion, Creativity and Productivity (www.fireduporburnedout.com).  In addition to Success Television, Michael writes for leadership periodicals worldwide and for his award-winning blog on leadership at www.michaelleestallard.com.

Photo by Liber

In Leadership Is Dead: How Influence Is Reviving It, Jeremie Kubicek, CEO of the leader development company GiANT Impact, makes a clear and compelling case that “dominators” who lead by coercion are on the decline and are being replaced by “liberators” who lead through influence. 

Kubicek observes that leadership has moved from a noun to a verb.  It has become a means or vehicle for appropriate change rather than a goal or end in itself (i.e. to become the leader who exerts power over others).  Peggy Noonan, President Ronald Reagan’s speechwriter, once stated it this way: “Poor leaders want to be great. Great leaders want to do something great.” Kubicek points out that for leaders to successfully make this shift, competence is required to get the job done well and character is required to build strong relationships based on mutual trust.  People are much more likely to give their best efforts when following a liberator than a dominator because this type of leader helps the people he or she leads and, in doing so, develops a bond of connection. 

I highly recommend this book.  In addition to making a valuable contribution to leadership thinking, the stories and examples make it a page-turner. You’ll experience the thrill of reading about Kubicek’s narrow escape from intimidating Russian mobsters while working as a young entrepreneur in Moscow, and his harrowing and heartwarming account of coming back to life following a car accident in Cancun that left him momentarily lifeless.   Also, be sure not to miss the material in the appendix that includes a fascinating description of Chick-fil-A’s “Live. Love. Lead.” program, an inspiring endeavor to be a positive influence in the lives of its customers.  

Kubicek’s company, GiANT Impact, has as its mission “to impact the leadership culture of America.”   Leadership Is Dead certainly contributes to that end and more.  The timing of this book could not be better as today’s news headlines recount more people around the world rising up to challenge dominating leaders and illegitimate governments in hopes of replacing them with the type of leader Kubicek describes.   

FCC Notice:  I receive many pre-publication requests from authors, public relations firms and publishers to review books that they provide to me at no cost.  I am under no obligation to write about any of the books I receive.  I accept an offer only when I believe the book contributes new ideas or insights and I write reviews on approximately one-quarter of the books I read.  

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"In the Google context, we’d always believed that to be a manager, particularly on the engineering side, you need to be as deep or deeper a technical expert than the people who work for you...It turns out that that’s absolutely the least important thing. It’s important, but pales in comparison. Much more important is just making that connection and being accessible.” (italics mine)

This is exactly the point I made when I spoke at Google about Connection Cultures described in my book  Fired Up or Burned Out at Google in late 2009 as part of the Leading@Google series (you can see the video of my presentation here.)

An article about Starbuck's CEO Howard Schultz describes him as humbler and listening more as well as considering the opinions and ideas of his colleagues.  This reflects the character strength of humility and the element of Voice in a Connection Culture that our research shows builds emotional and rational connections with employees.  

Connection is a muscle that must be continuously exercised.  The more you connect with others, the better you become at connecting.  Here are three ways to connect that are common practices of outstanding connectors:

1. KNOW THEIR STORY - Invest the time to learn the life stories of the people in your life at home, in your community and at work. Take them out for coffee or a meal and ask them "so you were born and then what happened?"  Listen and ask questions.

2. ASK QUESTIONS UNRELATED TO WORK - Ask the people in your life what their interests are outside of work, what's their favorite movie, musician or place of vacation.

3. FIND A WAY TO SERVE THEM - Look for ways that you can serve someone you want to connect with.  Perhaps they need to hear an encouraging word.  You might also consider offering to bring them a coffee or soft drink.  If they like gifts and they've been facing a difficult time in life, send them a gift they would like. You might consider sending one of my favorites: Ben and Jerry's ice cream from www.icecreamsource.com.

Finally, The New York Times columnist David Brooks' new book The Social Animal is reviewed. In the book Brooks argues that the ability to develop social connections is under-appreciated and extremely important to our success in life.  You can read the review at this link.

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Michael Lee Stallard is a keynote speaker, workshop teacher, president of the leadership training firm E Pluribus Partners, author of changethis.com's Connection Culture Manifesto: A New Source of Competitive Advantage and primary author of Fired Up or Burned Out.  To get a free download of Michael's book, Fired Up or Burned Out click here: http://bit.ly/firedupebook

Today is Presidents' Day in the U.S., a day in which we primarily celebrate our first president, George Washington. After reading the article "George Washington's Tear Jerker" in The New York Times, one might ask, was Washington really the great leader he has been made out to be?  I asked myself that question during the summer of 2002 and began a journey to unpack truth from myth.  I went as far as contacting and speaking with Edward Lengel, the foremost historian on Washington's generalship.  After doing my own research I wrote the following which became one of the chapters on 20 leaders in Fired Up or Burned Out.

First in Their Hearts

Richard Neustadt, Presidential Scholar at Harvard University, observed the following about George Washington: “It wasn’t his generalship that made him stand out . . . It was the way he attended to and stuck by his men. His soldiers knew that he respected and cared for them, and that he would share their severe hardships.”  From the time he was a young man, George Washington kept a personal rule book to remind him of the behavior that he aspired to live out each day. Many of the rules embody human value and capture the respect and deference Washington showed for others throughout his life. Some entries read: “Every action done in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those who are present”; “Speak not when you should hold your peace”; “Use no reproachful language against anyone”; “Submit your judgment to others with modesty”; “When another speaks, be attentive”; “Think before you speak”; and “Be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion.”

Like many other great leaders who inspire their followers, George Washington increased human value in the culture he was responsible for leading. The historian Edward G. Lengel described Washington’s leadership during the extraordinarily cold winter of 1777–78 at Valley Forge as “sacrificial” and noted that “he took great care in seeing that his soldiers were well housed.” Historian Henry Steele Commager noted Washington’s sacrifice for America was supported by the facts that he served as commander of the Continental Army without pay and was nearly bankrupt by the time he returned home to Mount Vernon after serving as the country’s first president.  On one occasion when approached by soldiers who wanted to overthrow the wartime government and set up Washington to lead the country, he met with them and made it clear that the thought of overthrowing the colonial American government was repulsive to him and under no circumstances would he consider it.

When King George III of England heard the news that Washington resigned his military commission without seizing power following the Revolution’s conclusion, he was said to have commented, “If it is true, George Washington is the greatest man in the world.”

The selfless behavior of Washington connected people with him as their leader because it promoted trust. When a leader demonstrates that he or she is leading for the sake of the mission and the people, rather than for self-serving purposes, people naturally become more trusting.

George Washington increased knowledge flow. He had a reputation for being quick to listen and slow to speak. During the Revolutionary War, Washington listened to the advice of his war council, a group of soldiers who reported directly to him, and their advice helped him avoid what would have been costly mistakes. During the Constitutional Convention over which he presided, Washington rarely said a word other than to intervene and make decisions to break a logjam in the deliberations.

Washington increased inspiring identity. He was committed to the cause of independence and frequently referred to it as “our glorious cause.” His love of America and personal sacrifice for it inspired others. With all the brilliant individuals surrounding him—John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, and others—Washington was the one to whom they indisputably looked as the greatest leader among them.

Under Washington’s leadership and the culture he helped create, connection among the colonists united them to defeat the preeminent military power of their age and set the stage for a new nation to emerge.

----

Although it is not mentioned in the above piece I wrote, while researching Washington I came across a story about Barbara Tuchman, the two-time, Pulitzer Prize winning historian.  Mrs. Tuchman, as she liked to be called, had a sharp mind and passion for truth.  Fellow historians such as David McCullough hold her and her work in high esteem for the quality of her writing, her unrelenting pursuit of truth in history and what wisdom we can discern from the lessons of our past.  While writing her final book, which was about the American Revolution and entitled The First Salute, Mrs. Tuchman struggled and was frustrated with failing eyesight. With the help and encouragement of her daughter, Mrs. Tuchman persevered.  During the times when she struggled, Mrs. Tuchman and her daughter adopted a motto to boost their spirits.  The motto was "Think of George."

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Michael Lee Stallard is a keynote speaker, workshop teacher, president of the leadership training firm E Pluribus Partners, author of changethis.com's Connection Culture Manifesto: A New Source of Competitive Advantage and primary author of Fired Up or Burned Out.  To get a free download of Michael's book, Fired Up or Burned Out click here: http://bit.ly/firedupebook

An outside expert's perspective was required to put me on the right path. Here's an example.  When I first began speaking about leadership, employee engagement, productivity and innovation, I was not getting the results I desired. The problem that I couldn't see at the time was that I had learned to speak as an investment banker on Wall Street where I was analytical and showed little enthusiasm or emotion.  This doesn't work so well when you're speaking about leadership and people expect you to inspire and motivate them to become better leaders.

Fortunately, a friend of mine with one of the nation's largest speakers bureaus advised me to go to Twila Thompson at the Actors Institute where I would learn how to connect with an audience. Twila coached me to connect with individual audience members, to project my voice and presence. It required time and practice to get comfortable with this and make these behaviors second nature. You simply can't imagine the difference it made.   I achieved the result I desired.  In hindsight, I can now see that there was no way I was ever going to figure out on my own what Twila taught me. 

Self-help was simply insufficient. The point here is that when you're stuck, get a coach or mentor who excels at what you're trying to do.  Self-help may not be enough to get you over the hurdle. You might also want to hire a coach on an ongoing basis to help you achieve continuous improvement. Unfortunately, many people are reluctant to do this. That's why greatness is so rare.  It requires the wisdom and humility to know when the help of others is required to be great.

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Bono, megastar of the rock band U2, frequently shines the light on his fellow band members.  In this photo Bono is shining a spotlight on The Edge, U2's innovative lead guitar player. Bono does this in a metaphorical sense too.  

Bono, has stated that he's a lousy guitar and keyboards player, and that his gifted fellow band members bring to life the melodies he hears in his head. He's also said that being around his fellow band members makes him a better human being. Furthermore, Bono has said that when one of one of his fellow band members is in need it takes precedence over the band's music.

Are you shining the light of recognition and belonging on your family members, your friends and colleagues at work?  Here are some actions to consider:

• When you see someone doing something that's admirable, be sure to let them know that you recognize it.
• Tell your family members and friends how much and why you appreciate them.
• When you are in a group discussion, praise others for their good ideas and opinions.
• Send a hand-written personal note of appreciation to a family member, friend or colleague at work.
• When a family member, friend or colleague at work is sick, send them a get well gift.
• When a family member, friend or colleague at work has something to celebrate congratulate them.

When you shine the light of recognition on others, you lift the spirits of others and thus improve the mood around you. This makes it more likely that you'll too.  

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Michael Lee Stallard is president of the leadership training firm E Pluribus Partners, author of changethis.com's Connection Culture Manifesto: A New Source of Competitive Advantage and primary author of Fired Up or Burned Out.  To get a free download of Michael's book, Fired Up or Burned Out click here: http://bit.ly/firedupebook

American leaders need to wake up and smell the coffee. Research from two well-respected organizations makes it clear that we have a big collective blind spot that’s dragging down productivity, innovation and economic performance. Earlier this year, a Conference Board research report showed that job satisfaction is at the lowest level since the organization began measuring it more than 20 years ago. The report went on to show this has been a long-term downward trend rather than a temporary decline due to the Great Recession.

Another well-respected organization, the Corporate Executive Board, came out with a research report last year that showed 90 percent of employees are either not aligned with organizational goals or not engaged and giving their best efforts. It’s nearly impossible to pull out of difficult economic seasons when nine out of ten employees are just showing up for the paycheck. We need everyone to pull together in the same direction to lift us out of this slump. What can be done?

Gradually over time, America has become overly obsessed about managing tasks. In our quest to produce results, we have lost sight of the importance of engaging people. As human beings we have emotions. We have hopes and dreams. We have a conscience. We want to be respected, to be recognized for our talents, to belong, to have autonomy or control over our work and our lives, to experience personal growth, and to do work that we believe is worthwhile and in a way that we feel is ethical. It’s how we are wired. When we work in an environment that recognizes these realities of our human nature, we thrive. We feel more energetic, more optimistic, and more fully alive. When we work in an environment that fails to recognize these realities, it affects our ability to become engaged and deliver sustainable results. It’s also damaging to our mental and physical health. All the Six-Sigma, Lean, benchmarking and metrics in the world won’t help us lead people if we fail to recognize these realities.  Leadership is all about the human experience.

We need to recognize that emotions have a disproportionate effect when it comes to inspiring people or burning them out. An earlier Corporate Executive Board research report showed that emotional factors were four times more effective than rational factors such as compensation when it came to motivating human beings to give their best efforts. Emotional factors include whether people feel connected to their supervisor, their colleagues, their organization’s vision, mission and values, and the their day-to-day work. When managers invest time to develop connections with and among people they become real leaders who people want to follow.

Little things matter when it comes to connection. As a manager, do you invest the time necessary to get to know the people you work with as human beings rather than always interacting with them as human doings? Do you get people together to inform them about matters that are important to them? Do you ask for their opinions and ideas to improve business results and do you consider what they say? In addition to getting people together to discuss the business, do you get the people you lead together regularly for social time to connect? They need that too! There are a number of management gurus who bad mouth meetings but we know from our experience that meetings and face-to-face conversations are indispensible for connecting with people, aligning them with strategy, and inspiring them to give their best efforts.

SAS Institute, the world’s largest privately-held software business, was recognized this year as number one on Fortune’s “Best Places to Work” list for 2010. Jim Goodnight, CEO and co-founder of SAS Institute, created a culture where the work hours are reasonable, employees work on a beautiful wooded 300 acre campus in Cary, North Carolina and they work in offices rather than cubicles. SAS Institute extends an array of benefits to employees that is second to none. Goodnight regularly sits with different groups of employees in the company’s cafeteria and he hosts informal “Java with Jim” gatherings to answer any questions employees might have. Knowing that he could weather the Great Recession better than employees, in 2009 he promised there would be no layoffs. Goodnight told employees that there would be no raises either and asked them to help reduce costs. Employees responded by cutting costs in excess of six percent.

What’s so impressive about this is that Goodnight is not a natural connector. He’s an introvert with a Ph.D in statistics. He would be the first to admit that he’s not the glad-handing or warm and fuzzy type of leader. But he does prides himself on being rational and he knows that SAS’s culture clearly provides a competitive advantage. With a 30-year track record of revenue growth, and employee turnover and associated costs a fraction of SAS Institute’s competitors, he has the data to prove it.

To be an effective leader requires a commitment to serve your organization’s mission and the people you are responsible for leading. Both are essential. Individuals who don’t demonstrate that they care about people will never be true leaders and, frankly, have no place in a position of leadership. They may be successful for a short time but eventually they will fail. Leadership failure happens when people stop giving their best efforts and stop communicating so that leaders don’t hear the facts they need to hear in order to make optimal decisions.

Leaders at the top of organizations have some work to do, too. They would be wise to put processes in place to measure managers on employee engagement (i.e. their ability to connect) and hold them accountable. When leaders fail to meet the standard, help them with coaching, mentoring, education and development. If they prove to be unable to connect with the people they manage, they shouldn’t be in leadership roles.

In addition to the right processes, leaders from the top down need to embrace the importance of conversation and be patient to develop a consensus on issues that are important to employees at large. Conversation and consensus are the only way to develop the strategic alignment and employee engagement necessary to achieve sustainable superior performance. When issues are pushed through to get “buy-in” rather than communicated with an open mind to find the very best solutions, those individuals whose ideas have not truly been considered start to feel like outsiders and many become indifferent or work to sabotage the organization’s efforts.

For individuals and organizations to thrive again, we must be intentional about balancing the time we spend managing tasks and connecting with the people in our organizations. Too much time spent on one side or the other is unhealthy and leads to poor performance. When we invest time connecting with people they give their best efforts, focus on the right tasks, and help one another. They are also more willing to share their knowledge and opinions. In an environment of connection, decision-makers are better informed and the organization’s internal marketplace of ideas fuels innovative new products, processes and business opportunities. This is what we desperately need right now to get us out of the Great Recession and to ensure a bright future.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Howard Behar is the former president of Starbucks North America and Starbucks International. He is the author of It’s Not About the Coffee. Michael Lee Stallard is president of the leadership training firm E Pluribus Partners, author of changethis.com's Connection Culture Manifesto: A New Source of Competitive Advantage and primary author of Fired Up or Burned Out.  To get a free download of Michael's book, Fired Up or Burned Out click here: http://bit.ly/firedupebook