One of the things that I have learned about entrepreneurs, as well as other people who “Think Big” about moving their dreams forward, is that they tend to invest significant time and effort into their own education and learning. 

No matter how far along you are on your journey, I am a true believer that by opening yourself up - even just a tiny bit - to learning new ideas, can set the stage for upcoming success in your life. Anything from reading a book, taking a class, or in my case, going to a conference can serve to motivate and generate new thoughts, ideas, and even new and exciting professional friendships.

And that’s exactly what happened to me down in sunny San Diego.

Now, for me, going out to the Southern-most edge of California by way of Toronto, Canada, was pretty expensive, but I really felt that I needed to venture off my normal path in search of new winds.

Over the course of the conference, I happened to meet a woman by the name of Janet Goldstein. While making small talk with her, I didn’t realize just what an expert I was actually talking to in the book publishing business. Janet has been in the publishing world in New York City for over 25 years and, I have to say, that I was very humbled to meet her. She is quite a big deal in publishing circles there, though one would really never know it when first meeting her because of her unassumnig, sincere and genuine demeanor. Janet is just one of those people I instantly connected with because of how substantive she is. 

The last night we were in town, a group of us went out to dinner. Among others, Janet was there and she had talked a bit about this exciting event that she had coming up at the end of July called, “Book Breakthrough New York City.” Honestly, at that time, I wasn’t really thinking about writing a book but there was something inside that tugged at me: I needed to spend more time with this person and learn a bit more from her, and that is what I intended to do.

Later that evening, I went online and checked out her event and signed up;  I was one of the first to do so. 

Hosted by Janet Goldstein and Elizabeth Marshall, this event delivered much more than I had imagined. The phenomenal three days were inspiring, filled with real life success stories, had an incredible group of people, some very well-known passionate authors, editors, promoters, and publishing house executives. People from all over the world were in attendance.  It was a truly a rich experience.

While I had wondered whether I would actually fit in at this event, I wound up feeling inspired, making new friendships and on my way to writing a book about diabetes that publishers want.

Lessons Learned:

1.   Everything is about relationships and making choices through connections. I really like using the word “connections” because when you truly connect with someone, it isn’t forced. I personally don’t like going to “networking” events that are less about making connections than about making a sale or have something to do with a “quid pro quo” action on your part – you know, ‘you scratch my back and I scratch yours?’ Sometimes, getting to know people and just listening is what matters most. Building relationships that are authentic and developing substantive connections are most important in every area of our lives.

2.   Answering the ultimate question of “Why?” Why are you writing this book? What brought you to this event? Why do you want to do this and why does this go beyond the ego of wanting to get on a ‘Best Seller’s List?’ Maybe it’s to help other people or to serve other people. I know that my book - which will be coming out next year – was an extension of my desire to serve more people. My book on diabetes will hopefully help people realize they can lead healthy, long, productive lives.

3.   Be humble. There were so many incredibly powerful people at these conferences but they were all humble. They didn’t let their ego control them or dictate their future. It kind of reminds me of the ‘Anchorman’ movie, where Will Ferrell says, “I’m a kinda of a big deal.” And there were rooms filled with people who were all ‘big deals’, but they were all humble. It makes me wonder if their humility and quiet confidence was responsible for their success. I can’t thank Janet and Elizabeth enough! 

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To find out more about Shawn's exciting new telecourse please visit www.born2bealive.com

To recognize courage, it helps to distinguish the various facets of courage. Some of us manifest certain types of courage well but come up short in other areas. Try to detect which elements you exhibit and which need to be unleashed in your life.

•  Spiritual courage. The spiritual journey requires being in the present. It is a trust in faith that propels you to continue growing. You become a “witness” to your attachments to results and learn to self-correct. You surrender your ego to a higher level of courage consciousness, and you begin to exist in a place “where courage meets grace.” As all this happens, humility steps in to replace arrogance and righteousness. The sacred within awakens.

•  Emotional courage. Similar to spiritual courage, this involves “knowing thyself.” A path committed to contemplation is required to release your false identity. Thomas Keating author of  "Open Mind, Open Heart", defines it this way: “the self-image developed to cope with the emotional trauma of early childhood which seeks happiness in satisfying the instinctual needs of survival/security, affection/esteem, and power/control, and which bases its self-worth on cultural or group identification.” In the Enneagram, a system exploring personality types, it would relate to the instinctual fears around the three subtypes: social, one-on-one and self-preservation.

•  Leadership courage (individual and organization). The courageous culture of an organization honors and uplifts the human spirit (the opposite of authoritarianism or coercion). The collective intent of a courageous organization is to join hearts and minds in order to achieve inspired results. It means the organization (and its people) will “fall on their swords” to honor their collective personal courage. Courage leadership knows the difference between pride and arrogance versus humility and grace.

•  Individual leadership courage. Rooted in truth, you know your own heart and speak it appropriately.

•  Ethical/Moral courage. This courage is activated by the attitude of willingness to choose differently in spite of personal hardship. The objective is a higher level of integrity than required for the easy alternative. Moral courage is like a compass. Over a long period of time, a one-degree navigational error will take you hundreds of miles off course.

•  Physical courage. Facing a physical limitation that challenges the human body, utilizing the body to achieve athletic challenges, facing physical dangers or overcoming serious health problems—these are the best-understood forms of courage today. Practicing a contemplative life (stopping and “being”) or being centered in mind, body and spirit are other less-known physical examples of courage.

•  Personal courage. The way of your heart might be the easiest way to understand this form of courage. It is a blending of heart and mind combined with the commitment to hold yourself one hundred percent accountable for your actions. You must recognize that your spirit is the author of your fate such as feeling safe during times of uncertainty, and feeling comfortable with the individuation of your spirit also contribute.

•  Political courage. Unwillingness to sell your soul is the key feature, represented by whether you stand as a politician (self-serving) or a statesmen (serving others). In other words, is your intention to do what is right by placing future needs ahead of political aspiration? Political courage is characterized by humility, not ego. It is being willing to go out on a limb to express an unpopular thought that reveals your authenticity.

•  Social courage. Social courage exhibits congenial behavior in public, regardless of the circumstance. With discipline and grace, you reveal a courage paradox: you do not insult others, nor do you suffer an offense in silence. Your image plays a key role, expressing the contradictory qualities of social grace with a rebellion against society’s limitations.

By distinguishing and inserting these aspects of courage into your daily life, you increasingly manifest true courage, setting an example to which others can look for affirmation.

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Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

What does “you have arrived” mean? You have arrived means you stop sabotaging your life by worrying too much to prove your worth. For my work in courage, to know “you’ve already arrived...” means the person lives a “courage-centered” life—it’s intentional, and declared from the heart!

The most critical issue as you embrace this forgotten virtue is to give yourself permission to claim your everyday courage—not the media’s angle of sensational, amazing, tragic or scandalous types of headlines, but the type that allows you to brand your special style. When self-doubt creeps in, ask: “How can I act with courage?” The way to access your courage is to pause and reflect. Ask another question: “How do my scripts confirm my False Self (the incessant chatter of the ego) and bind me in my mind-created fear? For example, “One day I will be a pro/ready/skilled to ....?” Then determine how courage can differentiate you and showcase your talents.

Scripts keep you stuck, so where are you stuck? Until you take time to stop and reflect, to let go of attachments such as consumer gadgets and/or the self-identification of “busyness,” most of us will remain in our StuckThinking™ patterns. Staying stuck in our scripts keeps us doing the same thing over and over. When a host of difficulties comes your way a courageous person refuses to give up in spite of the obstacles. But, what’s the benefit of this energy?

A symbiotic relationship merges when you combine your personal courage and your intention. This says you witness courage at its best—a contagious antidote! Overall, the assessment that I hold is our culture perpetuates pitching courage and fear against each other. This pitching is the ego's creation of duality such as good/bad, pretty/ugly, smart/dumb or courage/fear. I always think of the John Wayne quote that epitomizes and enables this dualistic belief and brands courage as bravado: “Courage is being scared to death...and saddling up anyway.” For me, a centered heart has no fear (unless a rattlesnake is looking you in the face or you’re alone at night in a parking lot and you sense harm. Someone said, “One cannot discover new oceans until he [she] has courage to lose sight of the shore.”

How will you choose to design your courage to advance in your true work? If you have to work, make it your Truth. In Truth, you will find your passion. With unceasing zeal, declare what I call a “Declaration of Courageous Intention” and use this tool as a compass on your life’s journey. What matters most is that you take positive action, now, to declare your intent.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and a courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

1. Your side.
2. Their side.
3. The truth.

The #1 biggest cause of all upsets and arguments ----- “the need to be right.”  This is a killer.  If we can get over that, if we can kick out that need ----our lives shift.  That need to be right forces us to dig in our stance and make the other person defensive.

The #1 way of handling all arguments & upsets ----- and the most difficult ------
“Training yourself to see other peoples' points of view, in the midst of an upset.”

This is sooooooo difficult and is not the natural thing to do.  It takes incredible
strength.   And must be learned & practiced.

"So what you're saying is...
"Your point of view is...
"This is how you feel...
"This is your truth..."

When you can do this, upsets and arguments diffuse and disappear, while solutions and healing kick in.

********* The Do’s of How to Argue **********

The real secret of how to argue is language.  Especially the first word. This takes incredible strength, wisdom, and courage because it means eliminating the word, “you.”

1. “I experienced…..”
2. “I feel…..”
3. “I need…”

And remember that conflict is good. That is how we grow and learn about ourselves and the other person. Things become clearer.

Conflict precedes clarity.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!
Larry Lipman, Success Coach

www.FunTeamBuilding.com

I didn’t know much about Bono at the time. As an ‘older guy’, I was a little embarrassed by the fact that I knew his name but was not familiar with any of his records (since they had been made after 1975). Someone told me that he was one of the top rock stars in the world. It was interesting to me that a star of this magnitude was asked to speak—not about music—but about his ideas for making our world a better place.

Fortunately for me, he didn’t ask me about any of his records. We just talked about life. In a way, it shouldn’t have been surprising to me that Bono thought about his identity. Successful musicians, who can continue to fill arena for three decades, finding new audiences while keeping old fans, are masters at creating and managing their identities. I guess if someone is plastering your image on posters, CDs and T-shirts, you have to control your identity—or someone else will.

I learned a lot from Bono’s personal story. He is a wonderful example of a person who has been able to change his identity and—at the same time—remain true to himself. In his early years, Bono's identity was "regular guy,” just a bloke from Dublin who liked hanging around with his mates. (From our conversation it didn’t sound as if he had fully shed “regular guy” identity—or wanted to. He apologized to me for using multiple variations on the" f-word". (I assured him that his language did not trouble me. As a teenager back in Kentucky, I thought the “F-word” was the adjective that preceded most nouns.)

For all of his fame and money, Bono still impressed me as a regular guy. He did not act pretentious. He was not overly sold on how wonderful he was. He was courteous enough to be concerned about possibly offending some white-haired nearly bald guy that he had never met.

After defining himself as a “regular guy” Bono became a “rock and roll fan”. Like many kids his age, he fell in love with music. He was animated in his discussion of the musicians that had influenced his life—and how much he enjoyed listening to them as a youth. He talked about how he still loved listening to new groups.

Bono's next identity was “musician.” He described how he had made a commitment to his craft and how lucky he was to find something he loved to do. He talked about the innocent joy of forming a band with friends when no status or money was involved. It was clear from his description that he not only loved being a musician then—he still loved it. He doesn’t make music just to make money—he makes music just to make music!

At this point, Bono was describing the familiar trajectory of every young boy who dreams of being a star. What happened next was a long shot. He went from being a “musician” to being a “rock star.” He clearly liked being a rock star. He enjoyed the life, the fans, and the access to influential people. He referred to himself as a “rock star” when we talked. I realized that he was using the phrase with a very useful detachment, as if it was the only way to accurately describe the one-in-a-zillion situation he found himself in. Beyond the view of an adoring public, he was still a regular guy, with a wife and four kids at home. But when he was in public, his identity was clearly labeled “rock star”—and he was smart enough to recognize that was an important part of his identity.

As much as he remained a sum of all his other identities—regular guy, rock ‘n roll fan, musician, rock star—it was evident that Bono was forging a new identity as a humanitarian, and that he was as professional and serious about this new identity as anything else in his life—maybe even more!
He recounted with deep feeling his experience of visiting Africa during the great famine of the 1980s. He talked about his lobbying of political leaders to reduce African debt. He talked about his desire to alleviate human suffering. There was no doubt that a big chunk of his remaining years would be devoted to doing whatever he could to make our world a better place.

As it turns out, my friend Richard Schubert was CEO of the American Red Cross during the great African famine of the 1980s. Richard gave me the opportunity to go on a volunteer mission to Africa at the same time Bono was there. This was—and still is—the most unforgettable trip of my life. In my nine days there I saw many people starving to death. I saw the hard work that was being done by wonderful humanitarians to save as many people as they could.

Tears came to my eyes as Bono described his experience in the African famine—and I remembered my experience.

Although I didn’t own any of his records, it turns out we did have something in common. In his after-dinner speech Bono did not take cheap shots at politicians, governments, or anyone else—even when several politically charged questions from the audience made the opportunity very tempting. He was clearly there to raise money, not to appease one side’s political views over another. His desire to help others far exceeded his need to be smart or fashionable. He is a man with a mission. He isn’t pretending to be a humanitarian. He is a humanitarian, and he is incredibly disciplined about how he presents this newfound identity to the world. His mission was clearly more important than his ego.

After that dinner, I couldn’t help thinking how extraordinary Bono’s analysis of his identity was.
At first blush, it may not appear to be much of an achievement. After all, Bono is rich; he can afford to take a sabbatical from rock ‘n’ roll and pursue his humanitarian interests. Bono is also a celebrity, which provides him with a loud megaphone to voice his opinions. He’s also a successful creative artist, which automatically provides him with a large receptive audience for what comes out of that megaphone.

But on closer inspection, at least in terms of creating a new identity, Bono’s celebrity is a double-edged sword. A lot of people are very hostile to the idea of celebrated people moving from their primary sphere of influence (e.g., movies, music, or sports) to an unrelated more “serious” realm of public discourse. Think of all those stars—Angelina Jolie or the late Charlton Heston —who are mocked as much as they are admired for voicing a political opinion or trying to help people. Stick to your day job, they’re told, as fans and media question their motives and commitment.

Bono also faced the additional hurdle of being part of a large thriving enterprise, namely U2. What if his three lifelong band mates resented his utopian dreams or thought his mission threatened the band? These are not questions to be treated lightly. Bono not only had to create an identity for himself, he had to earn support from his fellow band members.

In that context, Bono’s self-transformation is actually amazing. He did not let his definition of who he was—attractive as the identity of “rock star” may be—limit his potential for what else he could become. Frankly, I’d argue that creating a new identity is more difficult for Bono because of his celebrity than it is for average civilians like you and me. We don’t have as much to lose, or as firmly established an image to shed. And we don’t have hundreds of thousands of fans questioning our right to do so.

More than anything, Bono’s example is inspiring. Many of us make the mistake of treating our identity as a fixed, immutable object. We believe it cannot be altered, at least not significantly. As a result, we never try to create a new identity. One of the greatest obstacles to changing our Mojo is here—in the paralysis we create with self-limiting definitions of who we are.

Life is good.

Marshall

Dr. Marshall Goldsmith's 24 books include What Got You Here Won't Get You There - a New York Times best-seller, Wall Street Journal #1 business book and Harold Longman Award winner for Business Book of the Year. His recent book Succession: Are You Ready?- is the newest edition to the Harvard Business 'Memo to the CEO' series. Marshall's latest book is Mojo: How to Get It, How to Keep It, and How to Get It Back When You Lose It!

Ask yourself: “Why would I want to exhibit the efficiency that courage leadership enables?” You will discover that there is an direct correlation between your “courage quotient” and your “success quotient.” When you begin to live in the present you can recognize when you are selling your soul. For example, people assume that finding a new job will be difficult, so they remain complacent, mistakenly believing—or simply hoping—that things will change. Yet, in reality, situations seldom change by themselves. To show courage, decide when it’s time to face the truth or prompt a change: then, be eager to discover the next opportunity. Facing the facts and taking action are required if you wish to change your life.

The concepts of courage-centered living are deceptively simple. The mind (ego) will want to undermine them. After all, how could something so easy work? In the article “Simple Courage,” René Da Costa writes that people demonstrate a tendency to shun simplicity for complexity. “Simplicity takes talent and dedication.… It takes courage to advocate simplicity. Simplicity has nowhere to hide and neither do those who advocate it.”

We become courageous by being courageous. It’s that simple!

All you have to do is decide whether this forgotten virtue is worth learning. Leadership qualities are defined by courage, such as asking for the tough project or staying focused on the results. What would motivate you to explore where this ancient virtue fits into your work life?

I would love for you to share your courage comments by posting them below.

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

On the contrary, our spiritual-self has no attachment to anything because our divine-self knows it is not ours. Someday it will belong to another. Sure we use it while we are here, take care of it and perhaps admire it, but it will someday be another person's stuff, it is not really ours.

Material possessions make us feel many things at different times in our lives. Some may stir sentimentality, a sense of accomplishment, safety and even power. The man who holds his father's wedding ring in his hand the day he buries his dad will likely have an emotional stir unmatched by anything he's ever felt before. The accomplished business person who drives up to valet parking on the night of his high school reunion in a prestigious vehicle, has another feeling entirely. Our home and its contents-- from a couch to a set of dishes may make us feel secure and comfortable. Yes, we love our stuff and how it makes us feel.

Illusion. The ironic thing is that the more value you place on anything, be it a car, piece of jewelry or ___(fill in the blank)____, the more you leak your energy to it. You actually lose your personal power by being what is called "object referred", rather than being "self referred." Basically, do you believe you are wonderful because you are a divine creation or because you have a certain degree, own a particular car or have nice "stuff"?

Sadly, many people live beyond their means, basically creating debt to buy things that they believe will make them feel ten shades of wonderful. But the truth is that you are ALREADY ten shades of wonderful, even without your stuff.

Six Thoughts About Having More:

1. All of your possessions require energy to maintain. The nicer the thing, the more the energy it takes. If you had a 1978 Ford Pinto it would take less of your energy than if you had a 2009 Bentley. You would not only pay less to purchase, insure and maintain each of these, but you'd also spend a disproportionate amount of energy in finding a parking space considering if you car door will get doinked. The nicer the stuff, the more it requires from you.

2. Your "things" will never bring happiness to you. You may enjoy them immensely, but real bliss will never come from an object. We are just not wired that way.

3. If you wish to travel through life in a powerful way (not dominating, but rather awake and conscious) you will have to release an attachment to your belongings, which actually hemorrhages your energy to that thing. Is there something you own, that if I asked you to give it away (not sell, but give) that you would get hysterical about doing so? If yes, you are leaking energy to that thing.

4. Your ego will always want more. It is the nature of the ego to never be satisfied with the status quo. This has actually worked to the advantage of humanity since that is what has made any advance possible from space travel to the invention of the light bulb. But in terms of acquisition of material possessions, it works against you when you attach to the object.

5. Simplifying your life, boosts your power. How many email accounts do you have? How many cars do you have to insure, maintain, and drive to keep the battery from dying? Whether you have an art collection worth millions or a library full of precious books, more stuff takes more energy and attention to have and hold.

6. Do you use all of your stuff? I once heard the 80-20 rule. We only use 20% of our stuff and we store or hoard the other 80%. This sounds about right. Can you shed some of your 80% and get it into the hands of someone for whom it would be part of their 20%?

When you attach yourself to something outside your spirit, you weaken yourself. But when you detach there is unmatched freedom! (This is true in relationships too, the more you attach, the weaker you become.) HAVE nice things. ENJOY nice things. CELEBRATE the the nice things you own, just do this without an ATTACHMENT to them.

All the best!

Rena M. Reese
Founder, Soul Salon International

Rena Reese, M.S. is an author, founder of Soul Salon International and instructor at The Mindfulness Center in Bethesda, Md.  In her latest book, The Soul Salon, readers enjoy what would equate to a year of personal life coaching as they learn about the path to awakening & bliss, living in alignment and enjoying a life of purpose.  For more information about her books or speaking, please visit www.SoulSalonInternational.com.

Most often, everyday courage is comingled with heroism, and that is an egoic trap! How can everyday courage apply in the workplace today when the work environment is riddled with uncomfortable and challenging issues? In the midst of all the required tasks plus last minute scrambles, how can the designated learning officer of your organization flush out individual courage so that the organization surges in fluid courage?

• En-courage feedback — it takes courage to learn from others’ perspectives. To reverse employees who are risk averse or too shy to speak up wholeheartedly, embrace on-going interactive dialogue through storytelling and establish a time for regular follow-up (then, celebrate those steps in advancement).

• Acknowledge the power of honesty. Former associate professor of marketing and strategic management at Central Queensland University in Australia, John Jackson, offers a passage from The Way of Transformation: “The woman or man who, being really on the Way, falls upon hard times in the world will not, as a consequence, turn to that friend who offers her refuge and comfort and encourages her old self to survive. Rather, she will seek out someone who will faithfully and inexorably help her to risk herself, so that she may endure the suffering and pass courageously through it, thus making of it a ‘raft that leads to the far shore.”       

• Confront your limitations and seek personal accountability.       

• Be proactive. “True courage is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart” (This sentence was on a flag draped on a building by Ground Zero in New York).       

• Cross-check to review how you’re doing with your own courage context and courage quotient.

A portal to your heart opens when you strive for the best outcome. Why? The heart matures during different stages of courage development. Revelation allows you to be more self-conscious. Consciousness thrives in contemplation. Contemplation centers you in silence. Silence breeds insight. Insights augment learning. Join me in two weeks to learn what cultivates courage initiators.  

Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and originator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE, trainer and courage coach. She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

Follow me on Twitter and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

The 17th Verse of the Tao:

With the greatest leader above them,
people barely know one exists.
Next comes one whom they love and praise.
Next comes one who they fear.
Next comes one whom they despise and defy.

When a leader trusts no one,
no one trusts him.

The great leader speaks little.
He never speaks carelessly.
He works without self interest and leaves no trace.
When all is finished, the people say, "We did it ourselves."

If you are in a position of leadership, consider the types of leaders outlined in this verse. Which are you? Are you trusted? Feared, loved and praised? Are you the one they "barely know" exists? This last one seems counter-intuitive, but with reflection you can see that empowering people to find their own solutions by being invested in the process, and taking responsibility for their own work, is the enlightened way to lead. Anything less is leading from ego.

So what are the traits of an enlightened leader?

• Positively makes a difference in people's lives
• Uses love and peaceful means to resolve conflicts; never makes decisions based on fear or using fear tactics
• Uses the adoration of people and their desire to please, responsibly, and not to feed their own need to be better than, famous, recognized or more powerful.
• Trusts those that are being led, that they know what is best for themselves and encourages them to seek their own empowered answers and truths
• Honestly gives kudos freely and with love
• Always gives credit where credit is due--refusing to take credit for the ideas and work of others, but rather holding others up and celebrating their efforts and accomplishments
• Mutes self interest and refrains from viewing those who are being led as an opportunity for selfish showcasing or profiteering.
• Keeps words pristine, truthful and authentic 

Whether you are a parent, teacher, or CEO-- leadership rules are constant. Presidents, Queens and Kings can equally use the wisdom of the 17th verse to lead in an enlightened fashion. When you lead in an enlightened fashion, people are more creative, resourceful, trusting, loving, group minded, self-monitored and invested. If you lead with fear, when your might is gone, your power diminishes along with it. If you lead with trust, people are more likely to do the right thing when you are not looking.  Just think of the classroom with the strict and threatening teacher. When the teacher is gone, havoc is more likely to erupt. Look at nations oppressed by brutal dictators. When the dictator falls, the people often become unraveled and swing to the other extreme, from controlled to out-of-control.

Unenlightened leaders use their followers' burning need to be noticed and acknowledged to manipulate. Enlightened leaders use that same need to empower and activate their followers self-pride and success.

All the best,

Rena M. Reese
Founder, Soul Salon International

Linda says we all have our own personal Gremlin…

“The aggressive, internal critic voice that you have been conditioned to listen to and believe for many years.  This voice keeps your fears alive.  It believes it is doing you a service by protecting you from making a mistake.  The Gremlin is strongly invested in keeping your Genie (the gentle internal voice, of your inherent wisdom who knows your truth, champions you, and is your ally and best friend) in the bottle.  I have found that naming my Gremlin gives me more power over it, and I invite you do to the same.  My Gremlin’s name is Gertrude.”

Linda says that your ego is your Gremlin’s best friend because it gives you a false sense of power and self.  She says that when you step outside of your ego, amazing things start to happen.

• You give and receive love more easily.

• Life’s roller coaster ride evens out.

• You become more accepting of others and their opinions, and they of you and yours.

• You take things less personally.

• You actually hear what others have to say that can benefit you.

• You stop creating stories around the highs and lows in life, experiencing less drama.

In other words, you become more optimistic.  When you become less controlled by your ego and Gremlin, it is easier to follow the advice of The Optimist Creed:

Promise Yourself:
• To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.
• To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.
• To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.
• To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimist come true.
• To think only of the best, work only for the best, and to expect only the best.
• To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.
• To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.
• To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature a smile.
• To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.
• To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, to strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

You can’t live by these ten points if your Gremlin is in charge.  You can once you let your Genie out of the bottle.

Linda Salazar suggests naming your Gremlin to give you power over it.  I have named mine “Tom” -- someone who once told me that I am “pathetic.”  On the other hand, I think it is a good idea to name your Genie – not to give you power over it, but to befriend it and honor its presence in your life.  I have named my Genie “Stephanie”-- someone who has given me great support and advice as I change my business model.

The common sense point here is clear.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people are optimistic; they face their fears and take action; and they surround themselves with positive people – and imaginary people like their personal Genie.  They tune out the negative messages that come from their personal Gremlin and tune into the positive, helpful messages that come from their personal Genie.

That’s my take on self confidence, gremlins and genies.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.  If you want a .pdf of The Optimist Creed that you can hang in your workspace, please go to http://BudBilanich.com/optimist.

Make it a great week.

Self confidence is one of the keys to career and life success that I discuss in Straight Talk for Success and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success.  If you want to become self confident you need to do three things.  First, become an optimist.  Second, face your fears and take action.  Third, surround yourself with positive people.