Yet when we're in front of the room facilitating a group or leading a teleconference, it's sometimes difficult to remember that just because we're leading, it doesn't mean that we have to be an authority on the subject at hand. In fact, the amount of brilliance unleashed in our participants may depend on how well we let go of our need to have all the answers.

A wise facilitator once said: "The wisdom in the room is far more important than the sage in front of the room."

To me, that means excellent leaders pause.  Instead of coming to the rescue all the time, a good leader allows his or her team to struggle.  During that struggle, new leaders emerge.

If we let go of control and allow others to lead, we will see people empowered and engaged, having more fun, and achieving greater results. It will also take a huge burden off us as leaders, because now we do not need to know everything.
  
Example

You're facilitating a group of people focused on accountability issues. One member of the group throws an impossible situation at you. You have no idea how to solve the problem presented. You are really stumped and you don't know how to respond. If you begin thinking, "Wow, I'm supposed to be the expert sage on accountability here. I need to come up with something brilliant, or change the subject pronto!"  Then you'll probably get stressed out and offer little value to your participants.
But if you decide instead to just admit what's going on and say for instance, "Hey. You've really stumped me with this one.  What does this bring up for the rest of you in the group?" You will have actually increased your level of credibility to the group by being honest. You will have empowered the group by seeking their wisdom and insights on the issue. Furthermore, you will get a more balanced perspective on the issue by drawing on everyone's life experience. 

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Larry Lipman

www.FunTeamBuilding.com

The experts say that THE WORDS we use in our everyday conversations and in our thoughts determine:

• Our mood
• Our reputation
• Our destiny

The same applies to LEADERS!  With the all the leadership and management training classes I have attended over the years, the single most provocative and enlightening revelation that I have learned is --- the power of words.

Do you want to become an instant Leader? It does take certain skill sets, abilities, and charisma, yes. It also takes choosing the right vocabulary words.

Changing our vocabulary words means changing our vocabulary habits.  

My first example is one of my favorites.   Use the word, “problem,” in a sentence. Go ahead.  Say the sentence silently to yourself. Now, substitute the word "problem" with the word "challenge" in the same sentence.  How differently do you feel?  It is subtle.  And at the same time, very powerful.

I have officially eliminated the word, problem, from my spoken vocabulary.  I use the word, challenge,  instead.

Leaders use the challenge  word often.  It means things are solvable. Goals can be reached.  Success is possible.

A Few Other Vocabulary Samples:

Instead of the words on the left, try saying the more empowering words on the right:  

I experience the words in the left column every day.  But, I choose to use the words in the right column… when I remember!  Awareness is the key.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Larry Lipman

www.FunTeamBuilding.com

"You are such a disappointment,"

"You are still so fat...”

“So what if you’ve lost 5 pounds…”

“You’ve still got a long way to go…”

“What is your problem anyway? It must be old age or something…”

“No wonder you can't get anywhere... I don't know why you even try…”

“You are the most uncooperative person I have ever dealt with…”

“Frankly, I’ve had it with you…"

Now, while this person next to you on the bench isn't speaking directly to you, it's likely your inclination is to find another bench. Who wants to be around that kind of negativity anyway?

Then, suddenly, you realize that there's no one sitting on the bench with you. Instead, you recognize that the conversation you are hearing is your own voice and the person on the other end of it is YOU. You’re the one telling yourself how disappointed you are that the scale hasn’t moved, that you still feel fat, that you’re sick and tired of trying so hard to reach your goals, and that there must be something wrong.
 
Let Your Mind Go and Your Body Will Follow - Now consider the reaction your body has when you make these statements. As the “person” on the receiving end, it’s likely your body has the same reaction that anyone would.  It’s possible that it’s saying in rebuttal, “Well, if that’s really what you think of me, then that’s what I will continue to be.” Is it possible that, through the thoughts and statements you make about yourself to yourself, you are leaving your body no choice but to keep giving you what you are focused on... failure, weakness and disappointment? 
 
"Watch Your Language Young Man" - The truth is when you continue to think, write and utter statements using low-energy words such as disappointed (one of the lowest of all low-energy words) or old, worn out, tired, depressed, overwhelmed, stressed, terrible, hormonal, sick, etc… these words have the power to lock your body in a holding pattern of disappointment, old age, weakness, fatigue, depression and, yes, even menopause.
 
In her book, Every Word Has Power: Switch On Your Language and Turn On Your Life, author Yvonne Oswald, explains that all words carry weight and their impact on us can actually be measured on a physical level. “There are only two types of words: those that empower and those that don’t.”
According to Oswald, your subconscious remembers all the great (and not so great) moments of your life and describes how just meditating on the word “good” can cause the brain to recall the good feelings behind those great moments – just as meditating on the word “bad” or “sad” can produce a matching and equal response.

The reason for this, Yvonne says, is that a key, high-energy word such as good (good happens to be one of the highest) has a measurable energy that transcends beyond the word itself into an emotion that impacts both our physical and metaphysical reality.

"Powerful high-energy words such as excitement, joy, success, or love, vibrate higher and faster, thus increasing your ‘I feel good’ feelings. Low-energy words, particularly words that have negative emotional associations such as sadness or guilt, resonate at a lower frequency. They make you feel less than great by literally lowering your energy levels. In fact, 20 percent of the words you use have strong emotional undertones, which cause you to react either negatively or positively.”

So, what’s a person to do when, say, they are, in fact, still fat… or getting old… or really tired… or legitimately sick? Are we supposed to deny reality? One option may be to simply switch or exchange low energy words with higher energy words. Here are a few examples Oswald offers:

Instead of:                              Try This:
No problem                               I’d be happy to
No trouble at all                         My pleasure
This is too hard                         This is not that easy
I’m so mad                                I’m not happy
I’m sick                                    I’m not feeling well
I’m thankful I’m not sick               I'm glad I am well

In the case of switching from a statement like, “I still feel so fat,” you might instead say, “I’m looking forward to a time when I am leaner.”

The key, Oswald suggests, is to start by becoming aware of the low energy words you habitually use and see if you can begin replacing them with a few better alternatives. It’s very possible, if you do, your life and your waistline will thank you!

Dianne Orwig is a international fitness expert, success coach, motivational speaker, and founder of LivingFit Online™, a fitness program that has helped thousands of men and women completely transform their bodies and live healthier, happier lives though her less-works-better approach.
 
For more information on how you can get better results in less time and with less effort than you ever thought possible, visit http://www.lovelivingfit.com. You can also catch Dianne’s show, Love Living Fit on Blog Talk Radio, every Sunday at 8pm ET by visiting www.blogtalkradio.com/love_livingfit.
 
(c) Copyright - Dianne Orwig. All Rights Reserved Worldwide

            There is much you can do to help others succeed. Sometimes it’s as small as a thoughtful note of appreciation or encouragement or an answer to a question that may save a colleague hours of research. Mentoring offers another way for people to help others become successful, individually or in a group.

            Most successful people know the importance of finding mentors—those wise and trusted counselors and teachers who know the ropes in business and are willing to listen, support, and advise you on whatever issues are most important. People who seek mentors often find them through friends, trade associations, the Small Business Administration, the Service Corps of Retired Executives (SCORE), and business organizations such as American Woman’s Economic Development Corporation (AWED).

            However, people develop new ways of matching people with mentors all the time. Local chapters of men’s and women’s organizations such as American Business Women’s Association (ABWA), and chambers of commerce have entrepreneurial groups and mentoring programs.

            Ollie Stevenson, who ran her own consulting business gives an example of projecting personal values on others, and why a mentor needs to remain objective. One of the men attending one of her workshops had applied for a job and the company asked him many questions that seemed intrusive, such as his last performance reviews. Ollie said, “One of the women in the group said, ‘Oh that’s terrible; if I were you, I’d rethink working there.’” Ollie told the woman, “You don’t understand that he wants that job—you don’t. If you want to help him, you need to suggest to him ways he can accomplish his goals, not tell him what you think he should do based on what you would do.”

            For mentoring to work, the goals and impetus has to come within the person being mentored. Mentoring is one situation where both people get a great deal out of the exchange. The mentor is giving back and the person receiving the help is being empowered to achieve greater levels of success.

How to become a good mentor:

·         Think of the people who have helped you along the way

·         Remember what it feels like to get positive reinforcement

·         Remember what it feels like to have people tell you what they think you should do

·         Listen with the intent to understand the goals of the person being mentored

·         Set aside more time than you think necessary to mentor well