Today the word "work" has come to mean something to be avoided as much as possible for many people. But there is value in work. Not just for the money you can earn from it, but from the person you get to become. Hard work draws out talents and capacities that may otherwise have laid dormant.

Yesterday, a good friend of mine lost in her bid to be elected to public office. Last week, an opportunity for me to contribute to a segment on Anderson Cooper's new talk show fell through.  Last month, my son missed out on making the local travel basketball team. And earlier this year, I had a book proposal rejected by ten (yes TEN!) publishers.
 
The fact is that whenever we take on lofty goals, there is risk we will not achieve them. Too often though, when our efforts fail to produce what we have worked hard toward, we focus on the failure. We think about what we missed out on doing or getting. People speak about their "wasted effort" implying that because they did not achieve the goal they wanted – whether it be the business contract they had worked so hard to secure or the promotion that went to someone else despite their hours of overtime -- that their effort was of no value.

That is not true.

You do yourself a disservice when you approach hard work begrudgingly. There is little in life more rewarding than working hard at work worth doing, regardless of whether you always produce the result you want.

Working hard toward a goal or vision that inspires us, regardless of the outcome, always holds intrinsic value. What matters far more than what we get from our hard work and effort, is who we get to become in the process. My friend Caren echoed this sentiment last night with a group of supporters gathered in my home. She shared her gratitude for the rewarding experience of simply running for office and her appreciation for the opportunity to meet so many people, of all political persuasions and across all walks of life. Yes, she worked hard. Very hard -- door-knocking on 20,000 doors hard. But she also drew enormous pleasure from the hard work, and shared the quote by Theodore Roosevelt which has inspired this post: "Far and away the best prize life has to offer is working hard at work worth doing."

It is only human to feel disappointment when we don't achieve something we have worked hard toward. But our hard work and effort is never wasted. It truly is one of life's deep joys to "work hard at work worth doing."  And working hard toward something that fills you with purpose and passion is always work worth doing -- whether it be raising your family, fulfilling a long-held dream,  building a business that fulfills an unmet need or,  writing a book to change lives.

Today the word "work" has come to mean something to be avoided as much as possible for many people. But there is value in work. Not just for the money you can earn from it, but from the person you get to become. Hard work draws out talents and capacities that may otherwise have laid dormant.

I don't know what challenges you face right now. But I will bet that in order to meet them successfully, it will require you to do some hard work. Work isn’t always "fun". Sometimes it can be a grind. But that does not diminish its intrinsic value.

So let me ask you, where is your life calling on you to work harder at work worth doing? Whether it is the inner work of transforming the way in which you are living your life, or the outer "roll up your sleeves and set your alarm early" work, always keep forefront of mind, that nothing worth doing has ever been done without good old-fashioned hard work. Period. I invite you to recommit yourself to putting in the effort needed to live a life that honors the best of who you are, and who have yet to become. After all, in the end it's never about the final destination; it's about the spirit in which we pursue the journey.

Journey on.
_____
Margie Warrell is a thought leader in human potential, master life coach, international speaker, media contributor and best-selling author of Find Your Courage. 

Take the Courage Quiz, watch Margie’s TV interviews (TODAY show, Fox, CNBC)  and sign up for her free LIVE BOLDLY! newsletter. Then order your personally autographed Amazon best-seller book Find Your Courage.

by Paul Wolf

In his classic self-help book, Handbook to Higher Consciousness, Ken Keyes Jr. says the reality for everyone who walks this earth is, "You win some; you lose some."

Confidence isn't about expecting to win always. That's unrealistic. Confidence is a blending of optimism, hopefulness, self-reliance and freedom from inhibition.

Here are nine ways to build confidence:

1. Create a positive attitude. Optimism breeds confidence. Start thinking positively, and eventually you will act more confidently.

2. Set specific goals. It's hard to go after what you want if you haven't defined your goals. Write them down,  the more detailed description, the better.

3. Rehearse."The pianist doesn't play on inspiration alone," says self-esteem guru Jerry Minchinton. Anyone who has doubts about doing something right can benefit from rehearsals.

4. Act confidently (no matter how you feel). Pessimists are passive instead of active, which creates a vicious circle in which lack of achievement and low self-esteem reinforce each other, writes Bob Arnot, M.D., in The Biology of Success.

5. Take risks. The inability to act comes from an insistence on certainty, says cognitive therapist Michael Edelstein. Remember, the world offers no guarantees.

6. Give in to periodic struggles. What's effortless doesn't build confidence.

7. Review successes and failures. It's obvious that yesterday's successes are worth studying, but our failures are often more instructive.

8. Accept others. By recognizing we are all only human, it becomes easier to take risks.

9. Remember what's important. When Isaac Stern took his violin on stage, he could have thought, "I am getting a little too round in the middle." But you can bet the classical music legend's main thoughts were on the eternal beauty of Mozart. When you feel a lack of confidence, remember this: The mission is always more important than the man.

We all know to be grateful, yet I also hear how that can be challenging in the midst of a rapidly changing world that seems like it is changing for the worse.  For what its worth here are some ideas I have been trying to apply, I share them in the hope they might be helpful for you in some ways as well.

1. Problems are often solutions for ‘bigger problems’,  i.e. your current problems can be considered “warning opportunities” to prevent “bigger future problems.”   The  most helpful use of your efforts is to try to figure out what the “bigger problem” is and work directly to find solutions to it so that you can prevent that really big problem down the line. For example,  if things are not going well with a particular client or your assistant, it may be a sign of a ‘bigger, more ongoing problem’, e.g. that you are not an influential communicator and don’t know how to manage people’s expectations, that you don’t know how to ‘read’ other people well enough to find the right fit with others, or that you don’t have systems set up that facilitate how to work with people and then others get annoyed because they don’t know how to work with you, etc.   Any of these things could be considered more longstanding “problems” that if not “fixed” will lead you to fall short of the ultimate success you deserve over time.

For another example,  if you are having a problem with debt,  unless it was intentionally taken on in the service of financing a new business or incurred because of unexpected medical condition, then that debt is indicative of a ‘bigger problem’ of how you are living your life.  Your opportunity is to pay more attention to articulating your priorities,  examine your motives for spending money and see if there is an opportunity to ‘fill’ yourself in ways that will be ultimately more fulfilling, learn more about how to plan things ahead of time and delay gratification, etc.  The idea is that if money fell into your lap to pay off your debts like you probably pray for,  you might be deprived of learning these lessons that will help you live a better life overall in the long term.   

“Be grateful for your problems” now,  see them as valuable information and prevent the real and “bigger problem” down the line.  

2)  No matter how much we currently lack or have lost,  we probably still have so much more than most people in the world.  There are some things that are probably obvious to be grateful for,  like the members of your family, your health (and if you have aspects of challenged health right now, then all the other aspects of your health that are functioning well and all the medical care you might be recieving to move you more towards health).   

There are also many things it can be easy to overlook, like having a home to live in,  heat and lighting, furniture and appliances that work, etc. , financial advisors to help you figure out future planning, access to information at any moment that can help you improve your life in whatever way you want, transportation available at any time to commune with people and have access to money making activities, freedoms and rights to be speak and pursue entrepreneurial efforts and worship and express yourself the way you deeply want to, etc.    

Really encourage yourself to always keep in mind this perspective,  to be “thankful” for the nature of the current problems you do have and that you don’t have to experience even more profound problems as others might now.

3)  We are experiencing a “shift” from goals of material wealth to those of “spiritual wealth”.    I have been listening to my spiritual mentors who suggest that for the next few years we are undergoing a shift away from an Age which was ruled by our intellect and the primary goal of amassing material wealth.  We are heading into a new Age which will be “ruled by the heart”, with our “intellect in the service of our hearts”.  In the upcoming times, true wealth will be considered a connection to one’s sense of purpose,  a connection to others, and reaping the collective benefits of actions in the service of a greater good.   

The implication:  Anyone who cultivates theis approache to life will already be “ahead” of the curve and is poised for a lot of success in the new era.

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Sharon Melnick, Ph.D. is an executive coach and trainer who works with high potential and senior executives to rapidly remove any blocks to their leadership effectiveness. She combines ‘best practices’ executive coaching approaches with behavior change methods she developed over 10 years as a psychologist at Harvard Medical School.

You (and I) make assumptions many times each day. Even though some of them may be backed by factual science, most of the time, those assumptions are just plain wrong. Don't let your assumptions limit your possibilities.

"Assumptions are the death of possibilities." James Mapes

Humans can't fly to the moon.
The human body can't run a mile under 4 minutes.
Women are too emotional to be leaders.
The sun revolves around the earth (which is flat).
Telephones are only for talking and listening.
Animal species never change.
Black people are inferior to white people.
I (Margie) can never run 10 miles. Never ever.

Some of these assumptions had the force of science behind them while others had just the force of habit. All of them seem ridiculous in retrospect.

And the only reason any of them collapsed was because someone had the courage to challenge the the status quo; to push back on "the truth", to part with tradition and to ask questions about why things are the way they are, and how they might be instead.

Courageous thinking, from Martin Luther King's calls for justice to Henry David Thoreau's blunt naturalism, involves risk. It can make people very uncomfortable, invite criticism (if not outright ostracism) and at minimum, be unsettling for all those firmly attached to their way of viewing the world. But, courageous thinking is also what propels our lives, and our society, forward.

Earlier this year I did a 10-mile run. Up until I began training a couple months earlier, I'd never run more than 3 miles (and that was only once!) I just didn't think my body was made for running, but I was willing to try to prove myself wrong; and alas, I certainly did. Next goal: half marathon!

Sometimes when we think outside the box, we get it wrong. Sometimes when we take risks, we fail. And sometimes, despite our very best efforts to achieve an outcome, we fall short. But that doesn't mean we shouldn't continue to try. What matters most is that we work to embody the kind of courage that stirs the spirit and inspires us to think bigger about what is possible, and to inspire others to do the same.

In the last few weeks, I've experienced a hurricane, an earthquake and, yesterday, flash flooding. I have no idea why. But what I do know is that the world is far more mysterious than I will ever be able to understand and that to live life fully, we need to embrace a sense of curiosity, adventure and never stop asking questions and challenging assumptions.

So, what assumptions are you going to challenge about your life this weekend?!

Be bold -- your life will shrink or expand in proportion to your willingness to challenge what's possible! What have you learnt is possible for you? Share your comment with friends and family; you very well may inspire them beyond belief!
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Margie Warrell; thought leader in human potential, master life coach, international speaker, media contributor and best-selling author of Find Your Courage. Take the Courage Quiz, watch Margie’s TV interviews (TODAY show, Fox, CNBC) and sign up for her free LIVE BOLDLY! newsletter. Then order your personally autographed Amazon best-seller book Find Your Courage.

A successful business man was growing old and knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business. Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children, he decided to do something different. He called all the executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO. I have decided to choose one of you." The executives were shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed. Every day, he would water it and watch to see if it had grown. After about three weeks,
some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew. Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing. By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have a plant and he felt like a failure. Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however, he just kept watering and fertilizing the soil -- he so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection. Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot. But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful -- in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a failure!  Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed -- Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim, and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next Chief Executive Officer! His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO ?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it, and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!"

If you plant honesty, you will reap trust.

If you plant goodness, you will reap friends.

If you plant humility, you will reap greatness.

If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment.

If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective.

If you plant hard work, you will reap success.

If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation.

So, be careful what you plant now; it will determine what you will reap
later.

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Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, trainer and courage coach. She is the internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE The Heart and Spirit of Every Woman (2001), the follow-up book STUCK 12 Steps Up the Leadership Ladder (2010) and the recently released FACE IT! 12 Obstacles that Hold You Back on the Job (2011). She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Follow me on Twitter @courageexpert and Facebook

© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

1. they don't want to hear it from us, and
2. we don't want to give it to them.

Successful people are incredibly delusional about their achievements. Over 95 percent of them believe that they perform in the top half of their group! Giving people negative feedback means proving they are wrong. This works about as well as making them change--it's not going to happen.

Feedback rarely breaks through to successful people, even when you depersonalize the feedback by talking about the task. Their identities are often so closely connected to what they do that they take it personally when receiving negative feedback. They accept feedback that is consistent with their self-image and reject all other feedback.

It's also easy to see why we don't want to give feedback. Successful people have power over us--over our paycheck, advancement, job security.

The more successful these people are, the more power they have. Combine that power with the predictable 'kill the messenger' response to negative feedback, and you can see why emperors continue to rule without clothes.

When was the last time your efforts to prove the boss wrong worked as a career-enhancing maneuver? Traditional face-to-face negative feedback also focuses on the past (a failed past), not a positive future. We can't change the past. We can change the future. Negative feedback exists to prove us wrong (or at least we take it that way). Feedback can be used by others to reinforce our feelings of failure, or at least remind us of them-- and our reaction is rarely positive.

When your spouse or partner reminds you of your shortcomings, how well do you accept this? Negative feedback shuts us down. We close ranks, turn into our shell, and shut the world out.

I'm not trying to prove that negative feedback creates dysfunction.

Feedback is useful for telling us where we are and what we need to change.

Without feedback, we wouldn't ever know if we are getting better. We all need honest, helpful feedback to see where we are, where we need to go, and to measure our progress.

Such feedback is hard to find. But I have a foolproof method for securing it. When I work with a client, I first get confidential feedback from a dozen or more coworkers (selected by my client). Each interview lasts about one hour and focuses on: What is my client doing right, what does my client need to change, and how my (already successful) client can get even better! Since my clients pick their raters, it is hard for them to deny the validity of the feedback. I enlist these coworkers to assist the change process. I tell them: 'I'll be working with your boss for the next year. I don't get paid if he doesn't get better, and 'better' is defined by you and other coworkers.' People like hearing this.

Four Commitments: I then present these coworkers with four requests--the Four Commitments:

Commitment #1: Let go of the past.

Whatever real or imagined sins you have committed against people in the past, they are long past correction. You can't do anything to erase them. So, you need to ask people to let go of the past. This isn't easy. Most of us have never forgiven our parents, children, and spouses for not being perfect, and never forgiven ourselves. Without getting this first commitment, you can't shift people's minds away from critic toward helper.

Commitment #2: Tell the truth.

You don't want to work hard for a year, trying to get better based on what people tell you that you're doing wrong--and then find out that they really don't mean it. They are only saying what they think you want to hear. I'm not naive. I know people can be dishonest. But if you demand honesty from people, you can proceed with confidence that you're going in the right direction--and that you won't get a rude surprise at the end.

Commitment #3: Be supportive and helpful--not negative.

This is asking a lot of people--to be supportive, without being a cynic, critic, or judge.

People are just as likely to suspect or resent their bosses as respect and admire them. So you have to remove their judgmental impulses. Then they're more inclined to be helpful. They realize that if you get better, they win too: they get a kinder, gentler, better boss.

Commitment 4: Pick something to improve yourself.

This commitment helps everyone to focus on improving. You're creating parity, even a bond, between you and the other person.

Imagine if you announced that you were going on a diet. Most people wouldn't care. But if you ask a colleague to help you monitor your eating habits and stay on track, you get a more involved and sincere response. When you add reciprocity: 'Now, what would you like to change in yourself? I'd like to help you,' you enlist more support. Suddenly, you and your co-workers are engaged in the same struggle to improve.

Win-Win Exchange

In this two-way exchange, you and the other person also gain the strength to stick with it. Getting other people involved--and committed to changing something too--enriches the experience.

You not only change for the better because you're getting support from your coworkers, they change too because of what they learn by supporting you. Put equal emphasis on changing yourself and the people helping you.

Before you solicit feedback about yourself, find a few people to tell you the truth about yourself. If they qualify on all four commitments, invite them to supply and receive feedback.

Life is good.

Marshall

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Growing up on a farm in rural Australia meant growing up with something called the Tall Poppy Syndrome. It may sound like some ailment associated with cocaine addiction or a nasty chronic medical condition, but it's actually a cultural condition. While I'm not a cultural historian, I think it stems all the way back to our convict ancestors who were determined to create a more egalitarian society than the class system they left behind in mother England. And over the generations, it manifested into the self-deprecating Aussie culture that hailed the 'down to earth' and scorned anyone considered 'up themselves.' Standing out from the crowd meant risking being cut down like a tall poppy. Needless to say, it wasn't an environment that always inspired the entrepreneurial spirit.

Fortunately, the influence of the Tall Poppy Syndrome has waned in recent decades as we've seen so many Aussie's stand out on the world stage for their talent and accomplishment. Which is a good thing! Even former Australian Prime Minister John Howard said, "The one thing we need to get rid of in this country is the Tall Poppy Syndrome." And yet while the Tall Poppy Syndrome may be uniquely Australian, having travelled to 60 plus countries around the world, I believe that the fear that drives it is universal -- and stronger than ever. That is, we all live with what I've dubbed a "Small Poppy Committee" in our heads, whose sole mission in life is to keep us thinking small, playing safe and avoiding any possibility of being 'cut down' by those around us. It's not trying to hurt us, rather to protect us from the sting of rejection, the disappointment of failure, or the embarrassment of looking foolish when our efforts to achieve a goal fall short.

It is simply our ego's way of alerting us to potential threats to its safety, and the risks inherent in daring to do something in which we have no guarantee of success. But the reality is that nothing worth doing comes with a guarantee of success. Every worthwhile endeavor will require a degree of risk. It will also require a degree (or five) of Tall Poppy Courage. That is, the courage to dare to stand out from the crowd, to step onto new ground, and to do more and be more than we have up to now.

To be outstanding in life, you must be willing to stand out. When all you do is try to fit in, you negate the difference your difference makes. Being a Tall Poppy is not about being "stuck up" or walking around with a sense of superiority.  Far from it.  It's about daring to think bigger about what's possible for you, to embrace your individuality, to express your uniqueness and to follow your dreams...however magnificently humble or audaciously huge they may be.  It's not about being better than anybody else; rather, it's about being a better version of yourself.  The irony is that expressing the full quota of your brilliance in the world is only possible when you give up trying to show people how brilliant (smart or accomplished) you are.  It's just about doing what inspires you, and stepping courageously through whatever Small Poppy fears, real or imagined, are standing in your way.

Have you got Tall Poppy Courage? Of course you do. More than you know. It's just waiting on you to decide that that the risk of remaining tight inside your tall poppy bud is greater than the risk it will take to blossom.

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Margie Warrell; thought leader in human potential, master life coach, international speaker, media contributor and best-selling author of Find Your Courage. 

Take the Courage Quiz, watch Margie’s TV interviews (TODAY show, Fox, CNBC)  and sign up for her free LIVE BOLDLY! newsletter. Then order your personally autographed Amazon best-seller book Find Your Courage.

I've always liked to think of myself as a 'do it now' sort of person. But I've realized that actually I sometimes use 'busy-ness' as an excuse not to do the things I know I really should. Not the little things (like cleaning out my kitchen drawers), but the bigger things… like putting together proposals, writing my next book, or launching a courage coaching workshop -- stuff that will require more time, more commitment, and involve a bigger risk of failure.

So it got me thinking about this whole subject of procrastination. In a quick mini-survey, I realized that I am among good company. Perhaps even yours! In fact, I think it's something everyone does from time to time. Sometimes it's mundane stuff like filing taxes. But more often, it's the bigger stuff, like ending a relationship that's dragging us down, beginning the process of pursuing a more rewarding career path, getting back into shape, or pursuing a long-held dream.

Philosopher William James once wrote, "Nothing is so fatiguing as the eternal hanging on of an unfulfilled goal." Of course, people come up with all sorts of creative reasons why now just isn't the right time. Too busy. Too broke. Too stressed. Economy too unstable. Too risky. Too inexperienced. Too old. Too young. Too disruptive. Sometimes those reasons are valid. But more often, they are simply excuses for avoiding the discomfort inherent in creating change in our lives, even change for the better, and confronting our fear of failing in the process.

While on the surface procrastination often looks like laziness, at the heart of it lies fear. Fear of failing, fear of success, fear of rejection or fear of our inability to have what we truly want. And so our fears drive us to hang on to the hope that if we procrastinate long enough, our misgivings about our ability to achieve what we want will magically evaporate -- replaced with a newfound sense of clarity about the steps we need to take, courage to take them, and confidence in our ability to overcome any obstacles we may meet along the way.

Unfortunately, the reverse is generally true. As the days roll steadily by, our fears grow larger, not smaller, until they eventually lead to a burial ground for unfulfilled dreams and untapped potential. All the time, the knowledge that we are whiling away our precious life waiting for the planets to perfectly align before we take our first step forward pulls more heavily on our hearts and minds. We are loath to admit it, but in putting off until tomorrow what we can do today (the word "procrastinate" comes from the Latin pro, meaning ‘forward,’ and cras, meaning ‘tomorrow’), we are selling out ourselves and all that we can be. And one way or another, it is costing us. Not only can it cost us in our finances, careers, relationships and physical health, but it costs us our peace of mind and the opportunity to experience a far deeper sense of personal fulfillment.

Life rewards action. Nothing great has ever been accomplished without it. Nothing ever will be. So if you are tired of procrastinating, make the decision to choose at least one of the seven strategies below (the more the better!) to help you step forward in action. Make tomorrow even more rewarding than today. Delay is increasingly expensive!

Seven Strategies for Overcoming Procrastination

Before you go further, first determine whether what you are procrastinating about is something that is actually aligned with your most important values.

If you decide it's actually not that important to you (i.e., the consequences of failing to do it are low), then do yourself a favor and take it off your list. If you decide that the activity is important to you, read on:

1. Write down your goal, and how you will feel when you achieve it. Visualize yourself having achieved it. Try to imagine the emotions you will feel once you have achieved it.

2. Set a deadline. A goal without a deadline can be put off indefinitely. 'Someday' is not a day of the week.

3. Write down how you will feel a year from now if you continue to procrastinate. Get really present to the cost of continued inaction. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes!

4. Break the goal into small pieces. If the whole seems too big to tackle, break it into manageable, bite-size pieces. Remember that you don't have to know every step of the journey; you just need to take the next few steps immediately ahead.

5. Set up a reward system. Make it commensurate with the task. An afternoon cleaning out your office or signing up for a fitness program may be worth dinner out, while writing a business plan or running a 5K might warrant an entire weekend away!

6. Create accountability. Enlist a support team, an accountability partner or just a plain old 'nag-buddy.' Ask them to check in on you every week to make sure you're staying on track (and to give you a hard time if you have veered off the rails).

7. Take the first step forward today. Yes, do something as soon as you can (before you come up with another excuse!) The longer you delay, the harder it will be to step into action. A Chinese proverb: "A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step." So just take it… forward momentum is everything!

Now off to clean out those kitchen drawers!

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Margie Warrell; thought leader in human potential, master life coach, international speaker, media contributor and best-selling author of Find Your Courage. 

Take the Courage Quiz, watch Margie’s TV interviews (TODAY show, Fox, CNBC)  and sign up for her free LIVE BOLDLY! newsletter. Then order your personally autographed Amazon best-seller book Find Your Courage.

SUMMARY:  Accomplished historical figures were not born with some super human like resilience that shielded them from disappointment, self-doubt or misgivings. Each had to wage their own inner battles with fear as they worked to overcome the obstacles that lined their path to success. What they ultimately learned was that your setbacks & cynics don't define you. Your responses do.

In December, 1903, a New York Times editorial questioned the intelligence of the Wright Brothers who were trying to invent a machine, heavier than air, that could fly. "It simply defies the laws of physics," they wrote. One week later, at Kitty Hawk, the Wright Brothers took their famous flight

If you study history, you will find that all stories of great success are also stories of great triumph over adversity. But often we overlook the setbacks and only see the end success. We think the person got lucky: "He or she must have been at the right place at the right time." Or maybe they were just really smart. Or talented. Or well connected. But that’s all bunk. While it may have been a little bit of each, what ultimately led to their success was their refusal to allow their setbacks and failures to define them.

Einstein did not speak until he was four and did not read until he was seven, causing his teachers and parents to think he was mentally handicapped, slow and anti-social. Eventually, he was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. You could say he had a slower start than many of his childhood peers. But I'm sure you'd agree that he eventually caught up pretty well. Today the name Albert Einstein is synonymous with genius.

As a young cartoonist, Walt Disney faced countless rejections from newspaper editors. He "lacked natural talent" they said. One day a minister from a local church took pity on the young cartoonist and hired him to do some cartoons in a small mouse infested shed behind the church. After seeing a small mouse, he became inspired to draw it. And so, Mickey Mouse was born.

One day a partially deaf four-year-old-kid came home with a note in his pocket from his teacher, "Your Tommy is too stupid to learn. We cannot have him at our school." His mother decided to teach him herself. Partially deaf and with only three months of formal schooling, Tommy grew up to be Thomas. Thomas Edison went on to fail approximately 10,000 times before he succeeded in inventing the light bulb.

And even Oprah Winfrey, had her fair share of struggles, sorrows and setbacks. Oprah did not become one of the most influential women in the world by allowing others to define her, giving into her self-doubts, or throwing in the towel when the going got tough. After enduring a rough and often abusive childhood in rural Mississippi, Oprah was fired from one of her first jobs as a television reporter, being told she was "unfit for TV." She now has her O.W.N. network!

Of course, you may feel like you have little in common with Oprah or Disney, Edison or Einstein. But that isn't true. You do. They were not born with some super human like resilience that shielded them from disappointment, self-doubt or misgivings. They each had to wage their own inner battles with fear of failure as they worked hard to overcome the external obstacles that lined their path to success. What distinguishes these people is that they did not become a victim to their failures. When they fell down, they got back up. And when people told them it couldn't be done, they refused to buy into their lack of belief.

There are things that you and only you can do, things that will never be done if you do not do them. But any worthwhile accomplishment is going to call on you to trust in yourself more fully, to risk making mistakes and forgive yourself when you do, to press on when the going gets tough, and to refuse to allow your setbacks to define you (know the cynics in your life).

How you choose to interpret your failures will either move you forward in life or hold you back. Every failure can be turned into a stepping stone to success. Every mistake is a lesson in what not to do. Every setback is an opportunity to dig deeper into yourself, to access resources you didn't know you have and to acquire wisdom you could gain no other way.

Every story of success is also a story of triumph over adversity. What story are you writing?

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Margie Warrell is an accredited executive life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and best selling author of Find Your Courage. She is recognized internationally as an expert on living and leading with courage.

Blind spots are ways that our mind becomes blocked from seeing reality as it is - blinding us from seeing the real truth about ourselves in relation to others. Once we form a conclusion, we become blind to alternatives, even if they are right in front of their eyes.

Emily Pronin, a social psychologist, along with colleagues Daniel Lin and Lee Ross, at Princeton University's Department of Psychology, created the term "blind spots."  The bias blind spot is named after the visual blind spot.

Passing the Ball

There is a classic experiment that demonstrates one level of blind spots that can be attributed to awareness and focused-attention. When people are instructed to count how many passes the people in white shirts make on the basketball court, they often get the number of passes correct, but fail to see the person in the black bear suit walking right in front of their eyes. Hard to believe but true!

Blind Spots & Denial

However, the story of blind spots gets more interesting when we factor in our cognitive biases that come from our social needs to look good in the eyes of others.

When people operate with blind spots, coupled with a strong ego, they often refuse to adjust their course even in the face of opposition from trusted advisors,  or incontrovertible evidence to the contrary.

Two well-known examples of blind spots are Henry Ford and A&P:

• Ford's success with the Model-T blinded him to the desires of his customers. That gave the fledging General Motors an opportunity to capture a winning share of the automobile market with a broader range of models and options.
• A&P stuck with the grocery chain's private label products even as their customers defected en masse to supermarkets that carried the national brands they saw advertised on TV.

Recovery

The good news is that companies can recover from denial; even when they seem permanently wedded to their histories, their philosophies, or their belief systems. IBM, which had been caught up in its own "bureau-pathology," learned to conquer arrogance and overcome its history and culture, under the leadership of Louis Gerstner.

Intel, DuPont, and Coca-Cola, are more examples of corporations caught in denial traps when launching new products. They demonstrated that when corporate management has strong convictions, or worse yet, hubris about their points of view, they can become blind to their customer's needs - needs that are right in front of their very eyes.

Seeing the real truth is an art and a science. When we get the balance right between what we think is true and what is really true - we are managing our blind spots with integrity, and wisdom.

Fortunately, these well-known brands did not live in denial very long. It was only a passing phase, and they recovered from it by revisiting reality with an open mind. Blind spots explain why the "smartest people in the room" (as Enron's top executives were famously called) can sometimes be very dumb. They do not see the light - they are not open to changing their minds.

The Power of Coaching to Dissolve Blind Spots

Denial and Blind spots are one of the primary reasons why Executive Coaching is so vital for leaders, and why peer coaching is equally important for employees to practice. Coaching can effectively uncover and deal with blind spots and denial and give the decision-makers a fresh perspective on how to handle executive challenges.

Coaching can also help individuals gain a broader and more 'realistic perspective' about situations and themselves. Executive, Team and Organizational Coaching can help leaders calibrate with the world around them, giving them reality checkpoints that position them  to navigate the real world with wisdom and insight.

From time to time, we all need a wake-up call to be sure that we do not allow ourselves to confuse our denial maps with the actual territory.

Check Yourself

Here are 7 Common Blind spots:

1. Denial of Reality - Feeling so strong about our own beliefs that we deny the beliefs of others, or deny facts right in front of our eyes.
2. Control - Seeing ourselves as being more responsible for things than we actually are, or having more control over things and events than we truly do.
3. Made-Up Memories - Making decisions based on memories that did not happen. Often we confuse our imaginations, or our dreams, with reality.  
4. Reality Distortions - Distorting reality to conform to preconceptions.
5. Know it All - Thinking that we know more than what we really do. (We simply don't know what we don't know.)
6. Listening Only to Validate What We Know -  Failure to listen to others.
7. Undervaluing What We Do Know - Listening too much to others, and allowing others' beliefs to talk us out of our beliefs; or in some cases cause us not to trust our instincts.

Neuro-tips: Removing Blind Spots 

Tip #1 - It Takes Thought to Learn
The brain does not always allow us to hear all the facts if they do not fit our prior understanding of a concept. To learn new facts, you must be actively open to accepting opposition.

Tip #2 - Effectively Working Together
Partners who were considered controlling were perceived as critical and rude, and their advice was generally rejected and not trusted. When the same partners showed appreciation, a feeling of rapport and trust developed, creating a deep 'WE-centric' bond.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Judith E. Glaser is the Author of two best selling business books: Creating WE: Change I-Thinking to We-Thinking & Build a Healthy Thriving Organization - winner of the Bronze Award in the Leadership Category of the 2008 Axiom Business Book Awards, and The DNA of Leadership.