When we complain, we are focusing on what is wrong. And, according to the law of attraction, we will experience more of what we focus on. Not only that, but we spread negativity to the people who listen to our complaints, making them more likely to focus on and attract negative things in their lives as well. While complaining can feel like a healthy form of venting, it is really one of the worst things you can do for yourself and others.

In life, almost everything is a choice. You can choose to complain about things that go wrong, or you can choose to be the person who goes against our normal, negativity-spreading society and instead be a ray of hope, spreading possibility and love.

Be the ray of hope! Instead of sharing your trials and hardships with the world, choose not to share them. When someone asks, “How are you?” just smile and say, “I am great!” even if you aren’t. By doing this, not only will you find that people enjoy your company more, but you will also begin to be the cause for greatness in the world instead of being a contributor to the root cause of negativity and hardship.

Take this concept a step further and ask yourself if you are enabling others to bring more hardship into their lives by allowing them to complain constantly. It is one thing to be a listening ear, but it is another thing to be an enabler that helps them attract more to complain about into their lives (not to mention what that negative energy is doing to your life as well). When others want to drone on complaining, turn the conversation around by bringing up something pleasant and positive to focus on. The faster the negative energy is changed, the better you will both feel, and you will begin the wheels of hope and happiness turning instead of the wheels of misery and negativity. You will do that person a huge favor by showing them to the light instead of enabling them to stay in the dark.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

_______________________________________________

Faith M. Davis is both an author and a copywriter/marketing professional focusing on the subjects and industries she knows and loves most: holistic health, wellness, self-help, metaphysics and inspirational topics. More information about her work and her services can be found at www.faithmdavis.com.

If you've been reading this blog for the past 9 months, you know that I had a bad health setback.  Last August, I had a bad fall which left me with broken ribs and a banged up shoulder. It took months to figure out the cause/treatment of on-going pain which turned out was a torn rotator cuff.  Meanwhile, blurry vision in one eye led to a new diagnosis in my disease list, Possner Schlossman.  I had a history of eye disease and had been up close with pain.  And, as always happens, these things seem to trigger the multiple sclerosis symptoms -- banding, fatigue, etc.

Whine, sigh.  I 'd been living this life for 30+ years in which my health could get really bad.  But, I was Ms. Optimism holding onto the faith that I'd deal with whatever came up.

The thing is, this time felt different.  I'm turning 60 in a few months and maybe that plays a part.  But the physical injuries/raw pain + another chronic issue left me off kilter - - out of balance.    After months of physical therapy and two cortisone shots, the pain was getting worse.   I wondered -- maybe the years of illness were catching up and my body wasn't as resilient.

I  couldn't find anything resembling my usual sense of hope.  Even when I "Focused" (do you know about focusing???  It's better than therapy and meditation -- ask me about it) with my Focusing partner, I couldn't find it.  OR resilience.  Funny thing . . . hope and resilience aren't something anyone can see in you.  I just knew it wasn't there.

When my business slowed with several clients ending and no new ones in the pipeline, I didn't look for new work projects as I typically do.  The juice just wasn't there.  Do you know what I mean?

I told myself I wasn't depressed.  I was realistic.  Really?

About two months ago, I went back to my physical therapist to see if he could help me.  I didn't think it would help but he suggested another exercise to strengthen my motion.  I literally had to push myself to add it to my exercise plan.  Desperate, I also started doing the Tai Chi form after 35 years for my balance.   Hmmm, maybe there's still some place called hope in there.

Whatever the reason, within a few weeks the pain changed and improved.  Each time I did the new shoulder exercise, my shoulder seemed to move better.  As the pain receded, physical and psychic energy built.

Maybe you recognize this syndrome:  I'd gotten used to feeling lousy and it was hard to redefine myself and remember that even if I was a little tired, I could probably push through it. There were many days I had to remind myself that I was getting better.   I could push myself harder again -- that I had to do it.

Slowly the nerve pain and the "banding" that came on with the shoulder pain, disappeared.  A month ago, I cooked for several hours at a time over a few days, something I hadn't done since last summer.  I could walk  the dogs again without worry if they pulled.   This past weekend, I  gardened hard for two days in a row.  I'm planning to kayak again if it ever gets above 60 here.  These were all on my list of things I thought I'd have to let go.  Not now.

Funny thing,  I have an abundance of new clients and prospects in the pipeline and some really interesting projects, even a speaking gig that requires travel.  And I'm looking at this with excitement.  Amazing.

I didn't think I'd feel this good in my body again.  I'm not sure I feel the same resilience, though, that's for sure.  Maybe that's part of  what my Dad used to call the  "aging process".  But it sure is  good to know that my ability to heal hasn't left completely.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Building on her experience living with chronic illnesses, including multiple sclerosis and ulcerative colitis, Rosalind Joffe founded the executive career coaching practice, cicoach.com. Dedicated to helping others with chronic illness develop the skills they need to succeed in their careers, Rosalind firmly believes that living with chronic illness does not preclude living a full and successful life

What can you do today to renew your spirit, to inspire positive changes and to grow into greatness? In life, there is one certainty, and it’s that change will take place. Nothing remains still and unchanged. This is true for the earth, the experiences you have, and for your personal development as well. When you invite change into your life in the form of growth, you will become greatness because you will be using the law of change for good.

Instead of fearing change, as most people do, strive for constant personal growth so that you can become one with the law of change and use it to work in partnership to create the life you want. When we fight change, it will chase us until we are pushed into making a change we don’t want to make. But when we embrace change by striving for it in the form of personal growth, we create changes that we don’t even realize are being made, and those changes bring so many great things into our lives. This is because by being in alignment with growth, you put yourself in harmony with greatness, therefore you will attract greatness. Strive for growth and grow into greatness today!

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

___________________________________

Faith M. Davis is both an author and a copywriter focusing on the subjects and industries she knows and loves most: holistic health, wellness, self-help, metaphysics and inspirational topics. More information about her work and her services can be found at www.faithmdavis.com.

Blast Through Procrastination by Sharon Melnick

You tell yourself that you "really need to" do something to turn your situation around, and are baffled why you don't. Each day you do the same things and sink deeper into your stressful situation and personal misery.

The first step to taking action is knowing what your block is. One way you can start to get clarity is to set aside time to do the project that you know you've been needing to do. Write it into your calendar, protect the time, and have serious intent to carry it through. When it comes time to do it, notice what images come to your mind. You will have a mental picture that will reveal your block.

Read on so you can 'listen in over my shoulder' as I give you examples on how others got unblocked and started taking action.>>

===

Our experts want to hear from you!!  Join us at http://social.SuccessTelevision.com. User your Facebook or Twitter account to add your comments!  It's that simple!  

===

George Washington, Leadership Skills by Michael Lee Stallard

From the time he was a young man, George Washington kept a personal rule book to remind him of the behavior that he aspired to live out each day. Many of the rules embody human value and capture the respect and deference Washington showed for others throughout his life. Some entries read: “Every action done in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those who are present”; “Speak not when you should hold your peace”; “Use no reproachful language against anyone”; “Submit your judgment to others with modesty”; “When another speaks, be attentive”; “Think before you speak”; and “Be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion.”

Washington manifest these guiding principles on the battlefield and as our first president. Read more for the skills he used to succeed with the help of others and think about what your guiding principles are>>

---

Are you Wishing You Could? by Rosalind Joffe

I've had my times of envy, anger, guilt, fear and loneliness over the years.  Yet, I've always been able to talk myself back from that space. Maybe it took my body's dis-integration to allow me to integrate all the parts of who I was more fully.  I could put my mind on what I had rather than what I didn't.  Over the years, I became very ill and then, fortunately, much better.

But a bad fall last August set off new chronic pain.  A few weeks later, I happened to develop a new chronic condition in my eye.  It became harder to maintain my balance and resilience.  Distraction and acceptance, my go-to places, weren't working as they had.  I sensed my deep frustration that I was healing so slowly, anger that new health issues were cropping up and deep disappointment that I couldn't get back to the health baseline I'd finally achieved.

Then a few weeks ago I noticed something; I sensed a wishing and it felt good.  "I wish I could do ..."  felt very different from wishing that things were different. It felt expansive and freeing. Read more about Rosalind's wish list>> 

---

The 6% Solution to Weight Loss or Achieving Any Goal

Let’s face it – Americans are fat, fat, fat. According to current statistics, a whopping 60% are overweight and, of the 40% left, only about 6% fall into the lean category. (Those nice folks who can see their abs.)

So, whether your goal is to show off your six-pack or just shed a few nagging pounds, it makes sense to take a hard look at what sets this small group of lean-and-strong apart from the rest. How do they manage to accomplish what 94% of Americans find nearly impossible? The answer might surprise you >>

• Motivational DVDs
• Ask our Experts Questions (Click on a story and add comments or ask questions. Just scroll to the bottom of the page.)

I watched the movie Julie and Julia tonight and had more than one little epiphany which led me to spontaneously decide to share them here.  This is what the charming story had me realize.

• Nice girls cuss in their blogs sometimes. Really good writers with something to offer had to persevere through adversity, rejection, weird friendships and disappointments. Even the happiest of marriages have blips of discomfort, arguments and require a recalibration.

You can have an idol of sorts who inspires you and re-routes your life and that person may not even give you a second glance.  But you in fact may be a huge part of that person’s legacy. (Even if they don’t know it….right up until they exhale for the last time.)

You are wired for certain things just as surely as your eyes are brown, blue or green.  Cooking is one of those things.  Let it go if you are a crappy cook and find your “thing”

Unlike the original blogger from the movie, I am not setting out to cook every recipe in Julia Child’s cookbook in a year. Instead, I am on my own road to my personal Renaissance.

rebirth, revival

Recently , an old friend from high school reacquainted himself with me on Facebook. I love Facebook for that reason. I have wondered how friends that grew up with me were doing and now I get to find out. Those were simpler times and the memories so clear and innocent. We had our lives in front of us and we were invincible. 

When I think of all the life that was lived since 1972 ...well it's astounding.  We all grew up in Tampa, Florida and went to different Catholic high schools. The girls went to Tampa Catholic; the boys, Jesuit.  We met through one couple and the circle expanded from there. 

Now, as time has gone by everyone is in such a different place. We're single, married, or divorced.   Some have grown children; others no children at all. The yearning to recapture those connections persist. And I don’t think I’m alone.

My stomach is nervous about seeing my old friend. Will he think me old and tarnished somehow?  Will I think him, boring? All I know is that I look forward to renewing these old friendships as a way to remember my innocence and maybe recapture the hope that we all had for the future.

There was a time that each of us filled our lungs for the very first time with our first breath. Juxtapose this awareness in considering that you will one day exhale your very last breath too. All of the breaths you’ll take in-between will make up your personal timeline, yielding your legacy. Whether a life lasts moments, months, or a century will not diminish this truth. Further, the value of a legacy is not measured by the degree of fame attained in life or in the size of our last will and testament. Although these can be components of the final footprint we will leave in this life, there is much more that makes up the awesome concept of a legacy. Mindfully creating our legacies as we make decisions, build relationships and invest our energy each day will leave us with greater peace when our last day-- and last breath-- arrives.

How do you mindfully create a legacy when it is something that seems so illusive and intangible? A legacy is most often built upon a lifetime of simple interactions and daily decisions. Occasionally legacies are built on a heroic act like that of Todd Beemer and Navy Seal Michael Monsoor. When Todd Beemer heroically stormed the cockpit of a hijacked plane with other passengers on September 11th and Michael Monsoor threw his body on a live grenade to shield his fellow Navy Seals from the blast, they were making decisions in the moment. And in the same way, our day-to-day decisions matter in constructing a life legacy too.  Deciding who you will be in every day relationships, at work, and in moment-to-moment decisions will offer a great place to mindfully build your legacy.

Things to consider as you design your legacy:

• Financial abundance is more than a means to power, attainment of luxuries and security, but it is also an opportunity to further a cause, lift up individuals and support something you value. How can you put some of your financial resources to work for what and whom you value most?
• Your relationships and connections, whether they last a lifetime or mere moments, house the potential to propel people to greatness and inspired living.  Recognize the gifts of those you meet, acknowledge the efforts of those who do a job for you and show gratitude without measure.
• Pour love and acceptance into a child. Whether you are a parent or not, you have the opportunity to mold a new generation with every interaction you have with a child. Buy some lemonade from the child who has set up a stand on the corner, mentor a child, donate to a scholarship fund or simply turn off your TV and cell phone when you are eating dinner with your child.
• Extend your sphere of influence. The Internet has made it possible for a woman who lives in South Carolina to learn from a woman who lives in South Africa. Be open to opportunities to positively impact people you may or may not ever meet in person.
• Seek opportunities to give help and give hope. These simple four letter words have a way on etching themselves on a person’s heart for a lifetime. An encouraging word, a leg-up, offering support in a crisis or a simple acknowledgment can provide the opportunity to completely change the trajectory of another’s life.  And most often, it won’t even cost you a dime.
• Respect the planet and all living things. Switching to a refillable bottle for your gym jaunts may not seem like much, but the small decisions you’ll make to walk instead of drive or bring your own travel mug to the coffee shop to get your morning latte add up. Crank up your awareness that the earth is a living host.
• Be a person of integrity and you will earn the respect of those in your life. This will have your family and peers celebrating you and your biggest critics admiring you. This respect most often comes from speaking truth, acting humbly, and offering respect in your connections with others.
• Be a smile-maker. We are presented with countless opportunities every single day to make someone smile. Whether it is a compliment, a gesture of support or breaking out that hilarious one-liner at just the right time, seizing those opportunities imprints your legacy on the heart of another.
• Share your talents and natural-born gifts. Whether you own a company that builds beautiful homes or you are responsible for lovingly landscaping them, share your innate talents with the world. Your beautiful voice, ability to advocate for another or gentle manner with a child may be examples of some of the special things that you have to offer the world. Share them.
• Participate in values-based work. Honoring your values in your work will carry over to your home life too. This creates a whole-life scenario that is congruent with your core beliefs. This is a powerful element to include when creating a legacy you’ll love. Participating in work that opposes your values will erode your health, level of happiness and muddy the vision of your legacy.

When Mattie Stepanek was approaching the end of his short life he asked his mother Jeni, “Have I done enough? Will it last?” This young man of 13 had not only appeared on The Oprah Show many times promoting his message of peace, but enjoyed a very special, personal friendship with Oprah too. Mattie wrote several New York Times best-selling books, inspired audiences of thousands with his eloquent speeches, and raised millions for MDA. So one might wonder how it is possible that this child, who was an acclaimed poet, peacemaker and philosopher could possibly query his mom in this way. The answer to this is that it is in our nature to wonder if our life has made a difference in the world. We want to know that the world is somehow better because we were here. We want to feel extraordinary—even if it is well hidden in the very ordinary aspects of our lives.

President Jimmy Carter eulogized Mattie saying, “We have known kings and queens, and we've known presidents and prime ministers, but the most extraordinary person whom I have ever known in my life is Mattie Stepanek.” And the truth is, whether a person lives thirteen seconds or lives 113 years; his life matters and holds a legacy. Mattie taught us to distinguish being important from being famous and that it is a right and a gift to be able to touch another human being. So if you want a place to mindfully begin building a legacy you will love, why not begin there?

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Rena M. Reese is the founder of Soul Salon International, an inspirational multimedia company. She is the author of several inspirational titles, a professional speaker and coach as well as the host of a weekly radio program, The Soul Salon. For more inspiration and information, please visit The Soul Salon and connect with her on Twitter @TheSoulSalon

(c) 2010 Rena M. Reese

All Rights Reserved

When thinking about the road blocks that we bump up against when looking to make a change in life, it seems our “but’s” get in the way of change. It is not our posteriors I am referring to…it is that little three letter word that seems to absolve us from doing something hard, uncomfortable or scary.

Think about what your spirit is nudging you to do NOW, and then listen for the “but” that may follow it.

• I really want to find a new job, but the economy is bad right now.
• I want to go back to school, but I will be older than most students.
• I want to get healthy and fit, but I don’t have the time.

Do you see how “but” seems to be saying….”It ain’t gonna happen!” or “Might be nice in a perfect world, which mine isn’t, so forget it.” “But” stifles the spirit.“But” silences the potential and hope, or at least tries to. I have learned that there is no silencing the spirit; it will step up the volume from a nudge to a whisper…and a whisper eventually leads to spiritual hollering. That hollering can take the form of a physical illness and depression to name just two. Let’s not let your “but” have that much power!

So, what is the prescription  for a “but” that keeps on coming? Well, it is another little bugger of a word called “and”. Let’s re-script the examples above with AND and see how that feels…

• I really want to find a new job, and the economy is bad right now.
• I want to go back to school, and I will be older than a lot of the students.
• I want to get in shape, and I will have to find the time.

Feels different doesn’t it? It feels as though possibility is still open and waiting when AND is used. Hope can still plant it’s seed where the AND is! When you use AND, both notions are regarded as truth, but one does not hold POWER over the other.

So name your dreams, desires and goals and then when you hear the “but” coming, replace it with “and”…and then step toward; the very thing your spirit craves.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

All the best!

Rena M. Reese
Founder, Soul Salon International and What's Right With Kids Today?

Rena M. Reese is the founder of Soul Salon International, an inspirational multimedia company. She is the author of several inspirational titles, a life coach, a professional speaker and the host of a weekly radio program, The Soul Salon. For more inspiration and information about her speaking and classes, please visit www.SoulSalonInternational.com.

A former boss told me, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so be really selective.”  I often think about this.

Where you choose to invest your time and who you invest your time with is tremendously important.  If you spend your time with a complainer who is never happy, it’s going to rub off on your own state of mind.  It may even affect your ability to complete your goals, as you’ll find yourself joining in with the chorus of complaints.  Instead of wasting time with negativity, it’s better to invest your time with people who are making things happen.  These are people who are trying to make a difference.  When you surround yourself with positive, productive people, you can’t help but become a part of what they are accomplishing.  Thus, the decisions we make everyday—where we spend our time and who we spend our time with—are vital to our own success. 

This brings to mind Chloe Steepe, a woman who I’ve had the pleasure to meet and know through her not-for-profit group called, Connected in Motion. Chloe is someone I want to spend a lot of time with; she makes conscious life choices to be positive and productive while living with diabetes. 

Chloe’s organization connects people who have Type I or insulin-dependent diabetes with sports, recreation, and healthy living.  Chloe inspires me and others with her positive approach to life.  She shares her personal experiences living with diabetes, enabling her to make a true connection to other people who are also living with diabetes.  Her determination to make the world a better place and her commitment to living well with diabetes is infectious to those around her.  

The connections people make with each other through organizations like Chloe’s are tremendous.  It’s kind of like going to a party and instantly connecting with someone who you’ve just met but s/he happens to be from your hometown, or you share something in common.  You instantly click and have a great time talking, feeling completely comfortable with each other, as if you didn’t just meet but instead have known each other for years.  Times that feeling by a hundred and you would know what it’s like to connect to other people who choose to live well with diabetes; the connection is really that strong. 

Words alone do not articulate and convey the uniqueness of this community. Here is a video clip to watch to get a taste of what it's like to surround yourself with great people who share common experiences. In my case, it was a weekend in January of playing sports and sharing time with new friends who have diabetes. You can hear the passion and see the special community with your own eyes in this video clip.  The people in the organization truly make the experience wonderful. 

Here are three lessons I learned (and they really apply to everyone):

• We are the average of the five people we spend our time with.  Be very selective.  Look at your life and what you want for yourself, and then figure out who are the people who will have a positive influence and the ability to inspire you.  These will be the people with whom you will want to spend your time. 
• Your physical environment matters.  It is important to change your environment from time to time.  If you stay in the same place, it is hard to change your thinking and go beyond the parameters of where you currently reside in your life.  New environments introduce new ways of thinking.                                                                       I’m lucky enough that I get to travel a lot for my work.  Being on the road for my work and changing environments so frequently enables me to constantly shift my way of thinking.  I get out of my comfort zone and encounter new experiences that have an impact on the way I look at things.  You do not have to travel or even spend money to experience a new physical environment.  In fact, it could be as simple as going on a walk, working in the library instead of your usual office, going to the park, or anywhere that is different from your ordinary work place.  In other words, a simple change of scenery can be powerful.
• Action is essential.  Everyone can talk about their great ideas, but talk is cheap.  Having the ability to act is what will make you successful.  You need to move toward your goal and what you want.  This requires you to also carefully choose the people you want to surround yourself with, because these people will have an impact on your ability to act.  Pick up the phone, send that e-mail, do whatever you need to do to make something happen.  The key is to act.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

To find out more about Shawn's exciting new telecourse please visit www.born2bealive.com

Is being unemployed feeling like a chronic condition?  Chronic - it's not sexy,  exciting, or fun.  Worse, chronic means it's not changing and won't go away. Those of us with chronic illness know all about this chronic syndrome.  It weighs you down and keeps you from being "light on your feet".

So, how do you find hope when you're feeling your condition is  "chronic"?  Perspective. What do I mean?  Check out American World Soccer Cup Team goalie, Tim Howard.

Here's a guy with a very difficult to manage and off-putting chronic illness, Tourette  Syndrome.  Living with this, he's risen to world class athlete status.  He's the focal point of media attention that makes his visible, and to many oft-putting, symptoms very public.  FYI - I read somewhere that his mother said that she thought that playing soccer goalie, which requires supreme focus, helped his Tourette's symptoms.  He didn't twitch as much when he played.  My bet is he played often!

Few of us, even if we were healthy, have the stamina or determination of Tim Howard.  But I believe that there's usually something to learn from people who achieve the extraordinary that we can apply to our own lives.

When you look at your job opportunities and the employment landscape, do you think, " I'll never find work"?  Are you blaming it on a lousy job market, a difficult illness, your age or even the time of year?  That could all be true.

But -- and here's the thing -- can you find something that you are good at and you can do and work this angle as hard as possible?

OK - most likely you won't be playing for the Soccer World Cup or the NBA.  You might not get to be president of the company.  But your challenge is to get out of the chronically unemployed syndrome.  Can you do it?

Let's face it.  You can't do as much as you'd like to impact your chronic illness.  But you can take charge of taking care of yourself as best you can.  The same is true with your employment.  What are you going to do about it? 

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!