What would motivate you to explore where this ancient virtue fits into your workplace today? Why would you want to exhibit the efficiency that goes along with courage? The answer: there is an indisputable direct correlation between your “courage quotient” and your “success quotient.” But first it takes knowing the components of courage and then conscientiously applying them. Mastering your courage is not a mechanical process. The challenge you face is for you to be yourself, but with more know-how, a distinction between a superhuman hero and cultivating authenticity.

Regardless of your position or title at work, ask yourself these questions to determine how you demonstrate courage-centering at work:

• Do my employees or peers perceive me as courageous?
• Do I feel a sense of joy in my work?
• What leadership archetype would employees ascribe to me, such as the “boss, caregiver, mentor, perfectionist, sage,” etc.?
• Do I strive above all else to leave a daily courage legacy that transcends generations?
• Do my employees or peers see me as genuine and real?
• Do I feel exalted by my vision?
• Does my language encourage or discourage?
• Do my employees or peers take personal responsibility for the experiences they create?
• Does my leadership style substitute humility for vanity?
• How stuck am I in my belief system or “positionality”?
• Do I belittle “touchy-feely” behaviors versus displaying and celebrating gratitude?
• On a scale of 1-10 (ten being the highest), how enlightened are my leadership skills?
• Are my employees or peers innately motivated to achieve the desired results?
• Do I work in a proactive or reactive company?
• Do I hire people (or does HR) with instinctual courageous leadership behaviors?
• Can I imagine a workforce of self-propelled employees centered in courage?
• Do my employees/peers perceive me as credible?
• When was the last time I had an “aha” insight about my leadership tendencies?

Courage-centering is the ability to call forth your everyday true Self to action—to lead from your heart and spirit. Claiming and displaying your courage at work and demonstrating courage-centering behaviors require you to invite your heart and spirit into your daily work life. It’s an approach and a focus (not a program) that keeps you vital. Courageous-centering in the workplace promotes an ability for you to:

  •  think on your feet;
  •  tackle issues as the facts happen;
  •  sponsor challenges to the status quo;
  •  endorse “courage change agents”;
  •  let go of condemnation and judgment;
  •  enhance innovation;
  •  remove indifference;
  •  instill courageous will;
  •  replace biased views with dispassionate statements; and
  •  escalate team dynamics to “step up” to the next level.

Courage-centering improves your understanding of who you are and affirms the power within you. These qualities can be honed by anyone willing to dig deeply into their true selves. Once “groomed,” courage becomes a resource to draw from at work and at home, and you will find that it is easily transferred to others so they can find courage within themselves. Then, courage becomes the sponsor for continuous improvement.

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Sandra Ford Walston is known as The Courage Expert and innovator of StuckThinking™. She is an organizational effectiveness consultant, speaker, trainer and courage coach. She is the internationally published author of bestseller COURAGE (2001), recently released STUCK:12 Steps Up the Leadership Ladder (2010) and FACE IT! 12 Obstacles that Hold You Back on the Job (2011). She is certified in the Enneagram and MBTI®. Please visit www.sandrawalston.com.

Sandra Ford Walston, The Courage Expert

Innovator, StuckThinking™

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© Sandra Walston

All Rights Reserved

“ It could be argued that all leadership is appreciative leadership. It’s the capacity to see the best in the world around us, in our colleagues, and in the groups we are trying to lead. It’s the capacity to see the most creative and improbable opportunities in the marketplace. It’s the capacity to see with an appreciative eye the true and the good, the better and the possible.” – David L. Cooperrider 

What is the appreciative eye you ask? It is the perspective of valuing, of awe and inspiration. When we visit a museum we often look at a set of paintings for their beauty, for their meaning, or for the value that they can bring us, in a different way than we might look at say, our blank computer screen on a Sunday morning.

In order to activate the appreciative eye, ask yourself the following questions:

1.) When have I been inspired/ excited/ amazed by my work? What are the details of that story? How did I feel physically and mentally? How was I impacted? What effect did I have on other people around me?

2.) What opportunities for inspiration are available to me today?

What does it mean to be an inspirational leader? ASKING QUESTIONS of yourself, of others, exercising your appreciative eye, remaining curious and excited to learn, wondering what our life has in store for us in the next city we visit, the next person we meet could have something unique and wonderful to offer. Being inspirational means remaining inspired . . . which is no small feat.

Best of luck!

______________

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Karlin Sloan is the founder and CEO of Karlin Sloan & Company, Ms. Sloan provides organization development consulting, training and executive coaching to clients the U.S., Europe, South America and Asia.  She is the author of Smarter, Faster, Better; Strategies for Effective, Enduring, and Fulfilled Leadership (Jossey-Bass, 2006) and Unfear (January 2011).

Every day Jim asks me the same 24 questions. Every day I ask Jim the same 17 questions. A key to the success of the process is that each person writes his or her own questions. Each one of our questions can be answered by yes, no, or a number. This keeps the process moving quickly. We send each other weekly results from an Excel spreadsheet.

One rule -- no negative feedback! No matter what the other person has done, we say nothing that may produce guilt. On the other hand, we make positive comments that reinforce success. Recently, I asked Jim how much he weighed. Since we began, he had lost 20 pounds. I said, “Great job! That’s a new record!” Jim and I live miles apart, and we both travel extensively. Yet we still connect by phone on about 80 percent of the days. When we miss a day or two, we catch up later.

For example, I will share some of the questions that I have written for Jim to ask me. Please remember my questions reflect my values and may not work for you.

Jim’s first question for me is, “How happy were you today?” I answer on a 1 to10 scale with 10 being the highest score. Being a Buddhist, one of my life philosophies is very simple -- be happy now. I have a great life, a wonderful wife and kids, good health, don’t have to work, love my job, and don’ t have a boss. If I wasn’t happy today, someone made a big mistake -- that would be me! In spite of all my blessings, I can still sometimes get caught up in day-to-day stress, forget how lucky I am, and act like an idiot. It helps to get a daily reminder of the importance of happiness and gratitude.

Jim then asks, “How many minutes did you spend writing?” This is harder for me. I am an extrovert who loves teaching, coaching, and being with people. It is hard for me to sit by myself and write. Yet, writing is an important part of my life. Through my writing, I have reached millions of people who have never heard me speak.

Some of my questions are about health, such as, “How many sit-ups did you do?” (This works! Today I did 400 sit-ups at once. Not bad for a 57-year old guy!) Disciplined follow-up is the key to the success of my teaching and coaching. One question is, “With how many clients are you current on your follow-up?” My relationship questions include, “Did you say or do something nice for your wife? Your son? Your daughter?” I am not a perfect husband or dad, but this process is helping me get better!

Why does this process work? For one, it forces Jim and me to confront how we actually live our values every day. We either believe that something matters or we don’t. If we believe it, we can put it on the list and do it. If we don’t want to do it, we can face reality and quit kidding ourselves.

If a friend of yours or your peer coach were to call you every day and ask you questions about your life, what questions would you want this person to ask you? Write the questions that you would want a friend to ask you every day. The process of writing questions will help you better understand your own values and how you live or don’t live them daily. If you have courage, recruit a friend and start asking daily questions to each other. You may be as amazed at the results as I have been.

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Life is good.

Marshall

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Marshall Goldsmith Effective Leadership Video Training

Marshall Goldsmith Speeches & Trainings

My newest book, MOJO, is a New York Times (advice), Wall Street Journal (business), USAToday (money) and Publisher's Weekly (non-fiction) best seller. It is now available online and at major bookstores.

Learning excellent facilitation skills is the next important step. One needs to learn how to engage groups of people...that means choosing the right activities that bring about the learning outcomes for which they hired you. If they want TRUST, if they want better COMMUNICATION SKILLS, if they want to HANDLE CHANGE, if they want to LEARN ABOUT EACH OTHER. These are typical outcomes. There are hundreds of activities appropriate for each.

The last step in successfully building teams is learning how to DE-BRIEF your group. That means asking "make-you-think" questions so the participants come up with the answers and solutions. That's how they learn.  They have them come up with the answers! These are called "AHA" moments.

Here are some example of good DE-BRIEFING questions:

* Is this an obstacle or an opportunity?
* What did you learn about yourself and how will you apply this?
* What is your next step?
* What specific action steps will you take?

NOW --- how does one get started on this Success Coaching Career? If you want to be a Family Success Coach, go to parenting Workshops, read parenting books, model your mentors, and find ways to make your kids and spouse feel loved and supported. If you want to be a Corporate Success Coach, go to experiential educational workshops and conferences, join local associations with successful coaches who are willing to share their skills, model your mentors, and get your feet wet by actually doing it.  Creating a web site is mandatory.

To sum it up, an excellent Success Coach is someone who models the behavior he or she teaches --at home and at work. That means being genuine, walking your talk, making and admitting your mistakes, constantly growing and learning, and keeping your passion alive by touching peoples' lives for the better.

Now, follow your passion and get going --- the world needs more Success Coaches!

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Amelia Earhart Out of the Fog by Rena M. Reese

In an autobiographical accounting of Amelia Earhart's historical flight in the Friendship called, 20 hrs., 40 min., she described her experience of flying in real fog for the very first time.  She explained that it was very "disquieting" and virtually impossible to know what the plane was doing. She told of how she would be flying in circles or even upside down and not know of her position in space.  She said the absence of outside landmarks leaves the pilot to count on physical feedback--such as noting if your seatbelt seems to have tightened or if your feet have dropped back from the rudder.

Read more about the gut wrenching way she navigated out of this mess and the parallels for navigating your own life>>

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The Top 10 Most Empowering Questions by Larry Lipman

Let's cut to the chase. 

If you answer or ask any ONE of these questions below, you or the person being questioned just might gain the insight needed to solve some vexing problems.These are great questions for kids and adults and can be asked at home or at the office --- you choose the situation.

1. Is this an obstacle or an opportunity?
2. How is this like your life?
3. What is this costing you?
4. What is your next step?
5. Other six questions>>

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Hitting the Bull's Eye by Sandra Ford Walston 

Hitting the bull’s-eye means being on target. The term was used by seventeenth-century English longbow yeomen in small hamlets. After church services they immediately held archery practice since this was the only time when many of the archers could gather. A common target was the white skull of a bull, and the aim was to hit the bull’s-eye.

Before practicing the skills needed to hit the bull’s-eye in your life and work, you need to know that you’re aiming at the right target—then act with courage. Here are three bull’s-eye strategies>>

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The Importance of Connection by Michael Lee Stallard

Understanding why U2 has thrived for so long provides insight into the factors that make groups of all types and sizes thrive, including families, sports teams, social sector and business organizations.

Lead singer, Bono, has stated that when one of the band members is in need, the band rallies around to support him and they put that need above the performance of the band. The band's motto is "everybody gets out of here alive." It’s no wonder that one of U2’s most popular songs is entitled, “Sometimes You Can’t Make It on Your Own,” a song that Bono wrote with his father in mind.

The most dramatic example of U2's support for one another occurred when the band campaigned during the 1980s for the observance of a Martin Luther King, Jr. Day in America. Bono received a death threat that warned him not to sing the song “Pride (In the Name of Love),” a song about the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., at an upcoming concert.  He described in an interview that as he sang the song, he closed his eyes.  At the end of a verse when Bono opened his eyes he discovered Adam Clayton literally standing in front of him to shield him from potential harm. 

Bono says, “People with a strong sense of family and community…are always very strong people.”  Read more about connection along the way to reaching your goals>>

• Success Television Motivation DVDs
• Stephen Covey's Success Strategies DVD
• Chaos to Control  Audio Download

These are thought-provoking questions that will encourage and enhance personal and professional growth.

They apply to kids and adults and can be asked at home or at the office --- you choose the situation.

1. Is this an obstacle or an opportunity?
2. How is this like your life?
3. What is this costing you?
4. What is your next step?
5. What is your definition of “success?”
6. What did you learn from this?
7. How would you do this differently?
8. How can you apply what you learned?
9. What specific action steps will you take?
10. What else is the matter?

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

www.FunTeamBuilding.com

There’s nothing wrong with aspirations or wanting “a better life,” but I think we have come to hold these aspirations as expectations—the idea that we are somehow entitled to them, and that, if only we do the right thing, those expectations will come true.

I call these claims, “lies to stop believing,” because I have found, both in my own life and in the lives of people with whom I work, that there is a lot of suffering caused by the disappointment when these expectations are not met.

What are some of these “lies”? 

• Someday my prince(ss) will come.  Not necessarily.  Many people face a lifetime of not meeting their prince or princess.  An increasing number of us might have to face a future of growing old alone and accept that there isn’t “someone out there, just for me.”
• You can make your dreams come true.  You probably can’t.  This is one of the ones I hear and read about most often, and perhaps one of the most insidious.  Yes, we can aspire to fulfill our dreams, but we need to be grounded in the reality that most of us aren’t going to be able to have the “life we always dreamed of.”
• Things will get better.  Not necessarily.  This might be “as good as it gets.”
• If you build it, they will come.  Again, they might not.
• I deserve better than this.  Perhaps, most harshly of all, why?  Deserving is absolutely tied up with entitlement, and it’s a myth that I deserve anything— it’s an act of sheer good fortune that I have the comfortable life I have and am not living on the streets of Rio de Janeiro or languishing in a prison cell in Baghdad.

Sorry to be so blunt, but there it is—life is what it is, whether we think it’s fair or not.  The good guy doesn’t always get the girl, and the bad guy sometimes wins.  We can have our dreams, do our affirmations, practice chanting and meditating on our goals, do the work, network, go on plenty of dates, and still not get what we long for.

This might sound negative, defeatist even, especially from a coach, but I want to suggest that acceptance of the possibility that we might not get what we long for is also a route to peace.

When I accept that life isn’t necessarily going to bring me what I long for (of course it might, but it equally might not), then I have the possibility to ask different questions about life and to navigate with what is, rather than the striving for and pain of disappointment if I don’t get what I yearn for.

What if I am single for the rest of my days?  What if I never write that book I’ve been meaning to write?  What if my life never gets any “better” than this?  What then?

For me, this is deeply connected with the Buddhist ideals of non-attachment.  Have goals, by all means.  Apply yourself to them with passion and zeal.  But the real practice is to accept that you might not live the life you expect to lead or feel entitled to have.  And, yes, there is a paradox there.

In addition, there are many other dimensions to this—the implications for others when we give up our entitlement; the cultural idea that we are somehow responsible or, worse, actually “to blame” if we don’t have a perfect life (unfortunately sometimes disseminated by parts of the personal development world), etc.   This is a theme I will be returning to frequently.

For now, though, some reflections:

What “lies” do you believe?

What has been the cost to you of those?

What happens when you accept that you might not get what you want (or what you think you deserve)?

What then?

“Let me tell you the truth: The truth is...what is.  And what should be is a fantasy; a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.” —Lenny Bruce 

You are not a precious and unique snowflake; you are the same decaying organic matter as everything else.  —Tyler Durden in Fight Club 

Aboodi Shabi is one of the UK’s most senior coaches, and a leader in the UK and European Coaching community. He was also founding co-President of the UK ICF, and has served the profession at all levels internationally. 

He has worked in the field of personal development for over twenty years, and in coaching since 1996. In that time, he has worked with hundreds of coaches across the world.

A Newfield Network Certified Ontological Coach, Aboodi also holds the highly regarded Professional Certified Coach Credential from the International Coach Federation.

He is currently Head of Coaching and Training for Newfield Europe. He is also an invited facilitator on mastery in coaching for various European coaching schools, as well as being a regular speaker on the coaching conference circuit across Europe.

Visit Aboodi Shabi's website - www.aboodishabi.com

We all remain in the same spot or same mental state when we simply look at our lives in one dimensional terms: I am bored, I am unhappy, I am lonely, I am overweight, I am struggling financially, etc. What happens when we start to add another dimension to the mix and start asking ourselves targeted questions?  It’s a skill we often overlook. Better or targeted questions are not just the simple plain-jane questions of ‘why’?  Why am I  X, Y, or Z?  Why does this always happen to me?  Why is it hard for me to lose weight? Why can I not find a partner?  What is wrong with me?

A better question would be what choices did I make that lead me here?  Then go deeper:  What decision could I make at this moment, on this one day, in this very hour that would shift my eating or relationship habits? This small nudge, this little different question will shift your entire outlook. You are taking back your power; you are owning your life and your experience. Now we are getting somewhere.

Keep going deeper and asking yourself more and better questions.  What alternate activities could I engage in when I am bored or lonely besides hours of television and bags of calories? Since I know that Mr. Wonderful isn’t going to be knocking at the front door, how can I get more involved with other groups or activities?   What skills or interests do I have that would benefit other people less fortunate?  How can I best serve others? Not only do these questions go deeper, but they become less ‘me-focused’.  Some of the better questions come out of our experiences….

Experience makes us wiser: How will I feel after I buy those shoes, eat that second sleeve of cookies, or go out ‘just one more time’ with that negative, destructive person?  Our desire for comfort is a strong seductive pull leading up to that moment and often times during the experience, but then what?  Often times the experience of what comes after can be a wonderful deterrent and great learning lesson.  For instance, as we get older we know that the third or fourth drink in the evening is a bad idea because we know how sluggish we will feel in the morning and we value a productive, healthy day more than the extra drink.

The flip side of this experience is to take a moment to be fully aware and remember how you feel after something great has happened.  Even though I feel like procrastinating on this difficult and intimidating project because I hate the work and am not sure if I will do a good job and I just know it will be hard, I also know I will feel productive and successful when it is over.  I have worked on challenging projects before and have figured them out and I felt great about my accomplishment!  I have succeeded before and I can do it again. The sooner I get started the sooner my feelings of fear will turn to triumph.

So what is the essence of all of the tons of self-help books, seminars and information that are available?  I will tell you what it is – it’s the A-ha moment.  The book, the chapter, the paragraph, the sentence, the moment, the concept that made you say “a-ha, I see myself in that example”, or “that’s exactly what I do or how I feel when I spend, eat, get into a relationship, or ,“I get it, I had never thought of looking at my issues that way” and of course, one of my favorites, “It’s not just me; other people have the same issues”, etc.  Those A-ha moments are the catalyst for growth. They are the pre-amble to asking yourself better questions.  They are a blessing and a gift to help you along your path.

And so as you continue your journey, try this new approach – shift your questions and shift your perspective.  How wonderful to be able to manage this process and pull from your past experiences to move you forward. We are entering a new decade and embracing a new year and there’s no time like the moment of now to start asking better questions.