The secret for speakers, coaches, parents, teachers, and anyone who wishes to connect with others is….connecting with peoples’ learning styles.  This becomes so much more effective when using an experiential, learn-by-doing format, rather than  traditional lecturing.

Getting people to interact will have far more lasting impact than lecturing.

The primary goal of facilitation is to make things "easier" for a person or group to learn, grasp, or accomplish, while allowing them to come up with the answers. This is particularly true when deciding whether to facilitate or teach. 

That is a big decision.  Many teachers choose to lecture their students. That has been our tradition.
And our egos very often depend on this perception.  Teaching is easier to do than facilitating.  I know.  I taught traditionally for many years.   This is not to say that there is never a time for lecture.  There is. Balance is the key.

So what's the point? The point is that not everybody is auditory. People will better learn, engage, shift, and change by actually participating in some behavior that engages their multiple senses. Providing your participants or students with an experience that engages multiple senses is far more powerful than anything a mere lecture can provide.

Example

I was asked to present a 20-minute keynote at a luncheon for 80 members of a local Chamber of Commerce.  Few people knew each other. I was asked to help them get to know each other better and talk about better communication --- in 20 minutes.   I told them I do not do miracles.

Now I could have talked about communication processes and bored them to death.
Not to mention, when people are eating, they are a step away from napping.

My work was cut out for me.

Here’s what I did:  I broke them into pairs and asked them to answer one question:
What is the most outrageous thing you both have in common?

Partners left for a quiet place and returned 5 minutes later.

When they stood up and shared their answers, people were falling off their chairs laughing! 
They learned more about each other in 5 minutes than they would in a lifetime.  That is experiential learning.

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

                                        Larry Lipman

                               www.FunTeamBuilding.com

My Mom had a set approach for dealing with each of us; I was the oldest, deemed the ‘responsible’ one, and so I was offered few freedoms.  In fact, I was given little to no room for error.  I was kept busy and that worked in a sense, because I could at least keep my mind active as I was tearing through the house with laundry or Windex.  Thoughts of ‘I will never make my kids vacuum the house this often’ are still with me to this day – so when my daughter relates her teenage angst to me, empathy I’ve got.

After I mention the 'beach week' to my husband, he naturally, and appropriately, brings in the much-needed reality check. You told her what? Where? Who will drive? We aren’t signing on for the house; lets make sure we are on the same page with this.  Yes, yes, I tell him. "Of course you make sense. She’ll be ok. We will make sure she is prepared."

Months go by, time pushes fast and right before me this past week, I watch her walk a path and move a tassel and all of a sudden she’s done with public education and beach week is days away.
We had already mandated that she and her girlfriends attend a ‘come to the parents’ meeting to review the dangers of the trip.  She is accustomed to these meetings; we have created these for other serious ‘rite of passage’ events – driving, getting your first car, turning 18 and the change in curfew, etc.  These meetings have sign-in sheets, hand out documents and sometimes show a PowerPoint illustrating our well-versed mandates.

Yet I realized I was ill prepared for this trip and for this meeting because the more research I did, the more fear crept in.  The statistics for beach week (by the way, this pertains to wherever there is a beach) illustrate more than the occasional drunk teen.  Quickly and repeatedly I read accounts of beach week grads jumping off of balconies, contests to see who can hook-up (still amazes me that this slang has replaced ‘having sex’), and lots and lots of binge drinking.

Then I learn of a documentary, ‘The Haze’, about a Colorado teen who dies three weeks into college after binge drinking at a fraternity event.  The more I research, the worse it gets.  The stats are horrifying.

Binge drinking.  Tons of shots.  Drinking upside down.  Drinking from some apparatus that has a hose on it.  Mixing wine, beer and liquor for the ‘effect’.   It’s enough to make me the terrible, mean Mom, who changes her mind on a big decision.  I realize that the real answer is teaching and preparation.

I recently saw some movie footage showing interviews with parents, asking them what they felt their primary job was in terms of taking care of their children?  The most common answer was to love them.  Some answered to parent them and then to let them go, or to enjoy them, or protect them, or a worried helicopter Mom’s answer, to pull out the best in them. 

My take on this is a bit different – I have always felt that I was handed these little beings filled with love and life and my job was to teach.  Teach them the basic skills of life.  Teach them how to look someone in the eye and shake hands.  Teach them how to how to handle crazy Aunt Toots during the holidays when she says something totally inappropriate to them.  Teach them how to reframe the expected setbacks in life so they don’t feel so put upon.  Teach, teach, teach.

And so I approached this beach meeting with the same philosophy.  I was going to teach, come hell or high-water.  On a dark humid summer evening this week, the girls all piled into the dining room with their long hair and flip flops and excitement to get this last one obstacle before them completed.  The beach awaits.

Two and a half hours later we were done and they were appropriately taught.  And quiet.  And maybe, just maybe, a wee bit wiser.  We reviewed the PowerPoint, we talked about boys and how they are at a different place in life than they are, we talked about the buddy system and safety and even riptides and jellyfish.  We reviewed budgets and keys and insurance.  We watched the documentary ‘The Haze’. 

As the patched together saying goes, the teacher is really the student and learns from his students – and yes, I learned.  I learned that though they are 18, they are really big kids.  I learned that they are still growing and learning and trying to figure it out.  I remember this now; I guess I was the same way.

We all heard the same information, and though I am sure this made an impact, I can only hope it sticks.  Beach, boys and being young are strong contenders.  Here’s to teachers everywhere in every form and fashion. 

If you like this, please share it with your friends.

P.S. If you want a copy of the PowerPoint send an email to: kimromancorle(at)me.com with the subject line ‘Beach’ and I’ll send it you.

In 2005, a newly minted graduate of Dickinson College headed to the ghetto of New Haven, Connecticut. While many of his friends were backpacking through Europe or netting impressive entry salaries on Wall Street, Andrew Ferguson went to teach sixty-eight underprivileged boys in a broken-down trailer. The roof leaked, the walls had holes punched in them, and the building was condemned at the end of Andrew’s first year. “It should have been condemned my first day.”

As a young white man hailing from a life of relative privilege, Andrew’s job was a radical experience. All of his students were black, and fatherless. Only one had a male authority figure in his life. Andrew saw suspicion, doubt, and even hatred in the small faces that looked up at him every day. The prospect of connecting in any way, let alone teaching these kids, was daunting.

About six weeks into the job, Andrew went to work like any other morning. In some ways, his main achievement to that point was simply that he hadn’t quit. On that particular day, he happened to be wearing a sweater vest. As he walked in, Quashon, one of the shortest and heaviest ten year olds, leapt up and yelled, “Nice fuckin’ sweater vest, cracker!” Shocked, Andrew still kept his cool. And despite never having experienced anything like it, he knew exactly what was going on. “

At the school, there’s a history of the guys running teachers out,” he explains. “And then there’s the bigger history of these boys knowing that any male in their life is going to run out. So I knew I was being tested, and that this was one of the tests. “

I also knew that they were used to teachers screaming back. My sense is that the teacher never won when that happened. And then my personality—I just don’t do that. So I took a deep breath and said ‘Okay.’ Once he saw that he wasn’t going to get a reaction or provoke some retaliation, once he saw that I am who I am and he couldn’t push my buttons—because I don’t have many—he lost interest and eventually sat down.”

Andrew Ferguson never thought he’d be a teacher. In fact he’d known since he was four years old that he wanted to get a law degree. But he wanted to do something in between college and law school that gave him significant responsibility and independence—and something that could have an impact on a big scale. Teach for America offered the perfect opportunity to do so.

But why would a talented college grad destined for a law degree choose to teach disadvantaged kids in a run-down trailer for two long years?

For Andrew, it’s all a matter of fairness. “Any sport you look at, everyone plays by the same rules,” he explains. “Who wins is dependent upon how well you work as a team, your skill, and how many hours you practice. Take that analogy to life. Sure, you have the same rules—but it’s like one kid’s trying to play basketball wearing a fifty-pound weight on his back.”

When asked why he cares about the kid carrying the extra fifty pound weight, Andrew replies, “Because I didn’t have one.”

Andrew was born in an affluent suburb of Pittsburgh and grew up in a good, nurturing family that encouraged him to learn and be creative. Just a zip code away, kids in inner-city Pittsburgh face quite a different reality. “So much has been given to me, and I consider myself lucky for so many reasons. Because of where I was born, and because of the parents to whom I was born, I’ve had so many opportunities. With these kids, it doesn’t matter how hard they’ve worked. Just trace where they were born. Because these kids were born in a different area, they’re not going to get the same shot.” Andrew feels that we all deserve our shot and that he’s no better than anyone else. He may be more capable than some, but that’s not the same as better.

Abraham Maslow on “democratic people”

Maslow calls self-actualizing individuals “democratic people in the deepest possible sense… They can be and are friendly with anyone of suitable character regardless of class, education, political belief, race, or color. As a matter of fact it often seems as if they are not even aware of these differences, which are for the average person so obvious and important.”

The psychologically strong see through superficial trappings to the human being within—or, as Maslow says, it’s almost like they don’t “see” those trappings at all. They are wholly unconcerned with issues of race, gender, age, ethnicity, or social status. For healthy people, the introductory words of the Declaration of Independence are more than just an idea; they do treat everyone as if we’ve all been created equal, because in their minds, we have.

Because these people are inwardly satisfied, they are also outwardly focused. Responsibility comes naturally to them. Like Andrew Ferguson, they actually fight for it. They want to do their part to make the world more just. And, for all human hearts to get their chance.

People who possess an egalitarian soul typically aren’t power-hungry. While many do achieve fame and fortune, it’s usually a derivative of their efforts, not a primary goal. As Ferguson notes, “If money and power and fame is ultimately the end goal, people tend not to be successful. Something else is missing.” That “something else” is the genuine, democratic interest in other human beings.

Healthy, happy individuals are also far less concerned with their own standing, whether economic, social, or otherwise. It’s not only that most often have achieved an elevated status; it’s that they simply put less value in it. They also don’t measure their self-worth by how the world measures them. In the event that someone challenges them—like the boy who stood up and yelled obscenities in Andrew’s classroom—they remain unruffled. They’re comfortable with who they are, and with that self-knowledge comes a calmness and steadiness of character that serves them well in all their pursuits.

For happy, healthy human beings, there are of course, some, necessary hierarchies. But even within these, they tend to treat everyone with respect. They don’t get distracted by people’s superficial differences – their bodies, ages, politics or personal preferences, because they realize that each human being is different and that what matters are their motivations, ethics, commitment, capabilities and more – the true, internal stuff that makes up one’s character. And when it comes to leveling the playing field, they take responsibility where they can and take action to give the less privileged a chance.

Cheers from Sonoma,

Donald

If you believe someone would enjoy and benefit from this post, please share it. Just click on the + Share button and you will see lots of options for sharing it with friends including email, Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn. Thanks!

Check out Donald Van De Mark's ongoing series on the 19 Personality Traits of the Best Human Beings

Donald Van de Mark has interviewed hundreds of leaders in business and politics including: Andrew Weil, MD, former U.S. Senator Bill Bradley, Jack Welch, Starbucks' Howard Schultz and Intel's Andy Grove, in his nearly 3 decades as a correspondent and anchor at CNN, CNBC and public television. He integrates practical tips from these great leaders to provide a riveting motivational speech on the personality traits of successful people. Donald is also the host of the corporate training videos,The Wisdom of Caring Leaders and The Wisdom of Teams.

His new book, The Good Among the Great,19 Traits of the Most Admirable, Creative and Joyous People, will be available for purchase in April 2011.

Dr. Rao conceived the pioneering course Creativity and Personal Mastery. This is the only business school course that has its own alumni association and it has been extensively covered in the media including the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the London Times, the Independent, Time, the Financial Times, Fortune, the Guardian, Business Week and dozens of other publications. 

He has done pioneering work in motivation and helps senior executives become more engaged in work and discover deep meaning in it. He also works with teams and groups and has been extraordinarily successful in using group dynamics to foster lasting personal change. Many who have been through his program experience quantum leaps in professional and personal effectiveness.

He is the author of "Are You Ready to Succeed: Unconventional Strategies for Achieving Personal Mastery in Business and Life", Hyperion, 2006. The book is an international best-seller and has been translated into many languages and distributed in all continents. He has conducted workshops for and spoken before executives of Microsoft, Google, Lehman Brothers, McDonald’s, Chubb, IBM, United Airlines, Allstate, Johnson & Johnson and dozens of others.

Dr. Rao was an executive with Warner Communications, Continental Group, Data Resources and McGraw-Hill and has consulted with such companies as RCA, Reuters, Citicorp, GTE, Pan Am and Diner’s Club. He has been a seminar leader with the Institute for Management Studies and the American Management Association. He is an expert on marketing strategy and has taught in the corporate programs of companies such as Verizon, Northrop-Grumman, Symbol Technologies and General Instruments as well as in the executive programs of London Business School, Columbia Business School and the Haas School of Business at the University of California at Berkeley. He has served as a marketing advisor to the national board of MENSA.

Dr. Rao received his Ph.D. in Marketing from the Graduate School of Business, Columbia University. He has an M. Phil. in Marketing from the same school in addition to an M.B.A. from the Indian Institute of Management, Ahmedabad. His undergraduate training was in Physics at St. Stephen’s College, Delhi University.

Photo by: Paresh Gandhi

Craig Nathanson is on the faculty at University of Liverpool, Keller School of Management and Corinthian Colleges teaching both traditional and on-line courses. His monthly articles now appear at over 1000 business industry web sites as the career expert for Job Target. He has been a senior manager, trainer, counselor and internal consultant for over 30 years, working in large Fortune 100 companies as well as several internet start-ups, one of which he was an original founder of. Craig also is a visiting lecturer for Benedictine College in Illinois teaching management courses in China and Vietnam. Mr. Nathanson has also been a visiting lecturer for the Academy of National Economy in Moscow, Russia.

Mr. Nathanson is the author of the books, How to find the RIGHT work during challenging times : a new approach to your life and work after 40, P is for Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day and his newest book, The Best Manager: getting better results WITH people.

Since 2001, Nathanson has focused on building a private speaking and coaching practice targeted at those over 40. Nathanson is a Ph.D candidate in Human and Organizational Systems.

Craig lives with his family in Petaluma, Ca

For more details, visit http://www.thevocationalcoach.com and http://www.thebestmanager.com

Michael Lee Stallard is a leading authority on leadership, employee engagement and teams.  He is the co-founder, president and CEO of E Pluribus Partners, a consulting firm that specializes in helping leaders create “Connection Cultures” to form strong bonds among the management, employees and customers of an organization. Connection Cultures increase employee and customer engagement as well as productivity, profitability, innovation, employee retention and customer loyalty. In the past year, clients have included Lockheed Martin, General Dynamics, Wachovia, UBS, General Re and several hedge funds.

Michael is the primary author of the book Fired Up or Burned Out. It has been widely praised by well-respected leaders and thought leaders. Marketing maven and bestselling author Seth Godin wrote, “this is a very big idea. While it's simple, it's not easy to do, but it's important. Hurry!" Frances Hesselbein, Chairman of the Leader to Leader Institute, described the book as "the indispensable leadership guide for leaders everywhere." Russell Reynolds, Jr., founder and former CEO of Russell Reynolds Associates wrote, "An enthralling and impressive work. It shows how to empower people and create great societies, corporations and cultures. I'm giving it to everyone at my own firm." William A. Holstein of The New York Times wrote that Michael’s ideas on connection reflect “great wisdom.” Michael Fitzgerald, who writes for The Economist and Incwrote on BNet, “The soft stuff counts and Stallard's book helps...It's impossible not to find some example that will make you rethink your own approach to other people in your working life." Fired Up or Burned Out has also been praised by executive coach and best-selling author Marshall Goldsmith as a book that contains ideas that help leaders engage knowledge workers. 

Michael’s work has been in the media including The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Leader to Leader, Leadership Excellence, M World: The Journal of the American Management Association, Perdido, Live Mint (in India), Shukan Daiyamondo (in Japan), Capital (in Dubai), Rotmanormal;"> Magazine of The University of Toronto (Canada in Spring 2009) and Fox Business Now.  He is a regular contributor to India’s largest circulated business daily newspaper, The Economic Times. Michael has spoken at conferences organized by Fortune magazine, The World Presidents Organization, the American Bankers Association, The Corporate Executive Board, the Innovation Council and the Investment Company Institute. He is a guest lecturer on leadership, employee engagement and customer engagement at New York University’s Stern School of Business, The University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business, and the Center for Creative Leadership.

Prior to founding E Pluribus Partners, Michael was chief marketing officer for businesses at Charles Schwab and Morgan Stanley. The programs identified and implemented by the team he assembled and led at Morgan Stanley contributed to doubling the business unit's revenues over a two year period. The practices he and his team developed became the genesis for his approach to elevating the productivity and innovation of individuals and organizations. Earlier in his career, Michael worked as an executive in investment banking, marketing, finance and business development-related positions at Texas Instruments, Van Kampen Investments and Barclays Bank, PLC. Michael’s educational background includes a bachelor’s degree in marketing from Illinois State University, an M.B.A. from University of Texas Permian Basin, and a J.D. from DePaul University Law School. He was admitted to the Illinois bar in 1991.  Michael is married and has two daughters.

Additional information about Michael can be found at: www.epluribuspartners.com (company website), www.fireduporburnedout.com (book website) and www.michaelleestallard.com (blog).

To learn more about having Michael speak or teach a workshop, click on leadership and employee engagement speaker.

Craig is the author of the books, Don’t JUST retire and die : a new approach to your life and work after 40, P is for Perfect: Your Perfect Vocational Day and How to discover and live your passion 365 days a year which Craig calls a workshop in a box. Craig has also produced a series of CD’s including the popular ‘’How to make your mid-life a crusade and not a crisis ’’ and over 25 other CD’s from his bi-monthly tele-class series,’’ How to make meaning and money in mid-life’’, which has different topics and guests discussing their own transitions.

Craig has also been publishing since 2001 a regular E-Zine newsletter aimed at those over 40. This is a free internet based newsletter which is published internationally helping to provide inspiration and coaching to many who are seeking to do more of what they love in mid-life while at the same time making the income they require.

Craig 's newest project, The Vocational Coach Booklet series includes the booklets ''Now that I am in college, what do I do with my life'' is aimed at college age students just starting out. ‘’ 30 days of vocational passion’’ is aimed at those in mid-life and ‘’Everybody needs a bearhug’’- kids advice for their parents 365 days a year is targeted at parents of younger children.

Craig is on the faculty at Cal State East Bay, Keller School of Management and Corinthian Colleges teaching both traditional and on-line courses. Craig’s monthly articles now appear in over 1000 business industry web sites as the career expert for Job Target. Craig has been an executive, senior manager, trainer, counselor and internal consultant for over 30 years working in large Fortune 100 companies as well as several internet start-ups, one of which he was an original founder. Since 2001 Craig has focused on building a private speaking and coaching practice targeted at those over 40. Craig is a Ph.D candidate in Transpersonal Counseling.

Craig is also working on his fourth book, due out in late 2009 called, ‘’The NEW manager’’ new management models for new times.